Secrets and Deception

Authors: Sierra (AliasSydney502) and Mary (littleangel)
Genre: S/V
Summary: Sydney's got a dark past, can Michael help her get over it?
Disclaimer: Sydney, Vaughn, etc are properties of JJ Abrams and ABC. Not mine, unfortunately.
Thank You: To my awesome co-writer Mary, she's a lot of fun to work with and a very talented writer.
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Chapters 1-10 // Chapters 11-20 // Chapters 21-30 // Chapters 31-37 + Epilogue

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Chapter 1


Doctor Michael Vaughn was standing in the lounge, pouring a coffee for himself, when his beeper went off. He sighed, he already had a 12-hour shift behind him and now they called him back again.

When he left the room he saw a young woman being brought in on a gurney. She had a bandage on her right leg, which was already soaked with blood, and cuts and bruises all over her face. He jumped in with the nurses and went back to work, leaving his steaming cup of coffee for another more fortunate person.

“So what do we have here?” He asked as he went with them into the next free operation room.

“Twenty-five-year-old woman found beaten. Seems her leg was broken and misplaced. It will need to be reset. She has lost a great amount of blood but we were able to stop the bleeding and she’s stable now.” The paramedic explained to him.

“Well, then let us put her back together.” He grabbed what he would need.

***

She woke up in an unfamiliar bed, surrounded by various monitors and things that where beeping incessantly. She groaned when she felt a sharp pain in her right leg and looked up to see a man dressed in white approach her bed.

“Who are you?” She asked, trying to get everything straight, which was complicated because of the pain she was in. Her head ached and her stomach growled.

“My name is Michael Vaughn. I’m your doctor. Do you remember your name?” He asked quietly.

“I’m not stupid.” She retorted. She didn’t like being asked such stupid questions. Hah, as if she wasn’t able to remember her own name.

“I’m sorry, but that isn’t what I wanted to know.” He joked, smiling. If she were able to feel her right leg any more than the pain, she would swear it felt the same as her left; like jelly. His smile made her smile, even when she wasn’t very content with the situation.

“Jamie Smith.” She said seriously, trying to hide her smile.

“Um…ok…” He pulled out his clipboard and began to write something down.

“I was kidding.” She laughed at his bewildered expression. Her cheeks started hurting and she stopped mid-laugh. “Its Sydney. Sydney Bristow.”

“Oh. Yeah, really funny. Scare me for nothing.” He shook his head in mock disgust. “So, do you remember what happened?”

“Not really.” She closed her eyes trying to picture the last thing she remembered. She knew what happened, kind of, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “It’s all fuzzy.” She lied.

“Do you know who could have done it? Or did you do it?” He asked.

“No. How long do I have to stay here?” She tried to change the subject. “Does it say that on that sheet…” She reached over attempting to take it from him and read it, but the ache in her leg and her body caused her to lie back onto the bed, tears welling in her eyes.

He quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “You shouldn’t move, Ms. Bristow, you might rip the stitches in your leg.”

“No, really?” She said sarcastically, colder than she should have. She used her other hand and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” He realized that he shouldn’t be touching her and removed his hand from hers. His hand felt cold without hers in it. “You do, however, have to stay here for two weeks or three. We can’t have you messing up that leg anymore than it already is.” He smiled at her and turned to leave.

“Doctor Vaughn?” She asked tentatively.

“Yeah?” He turned around to look at her again. She was so beautiful, and looking at her was certainly something he could get used to. Unfortunately it was forbidden to get involved with patients. He slightly shook his head. He hardly knew her, why was he thinking about getting involved with her?

“Thanks.” She gave him a small smile that made him want to take all her pain away and just make her happy.

“You’re welcome,” Michael said smiling, “I’ll come to see you again later.”

“Could you bring me some morphine too? It hurts like hell.” Sydney asked, giving him another weak smile, her cut lips lightly lifting to the right.

“I’ll send a nurse in to give you some, so you don’t have to wait so long. Want anything else?” He asked her.

“Lots of things but I don’t think it’s your job to bring it to me.” Sydney laughed.

“If you need anything, call me.” Michael offered.

“I certainly keep that in mind.” Sydney replied, flirting slightly. That moment Doctor Vaughn’s beeper went off again and he excused himself.




Chapter 2


The next days went by rather slowly. Sydney had absolutely nothing to do and there wasn’t anything interesting on television. So she was lying in bed staring out the window, wishing she could leave the hospital. The only fun things were the daily visits of Doctor Vaughn. He came usually before, during, and after his shift for a few minutes and checked on her, making sure she didn’t leave. Like she could.

But that didn’t change how boring the rest of her free time was. She had never been the type of person that could stand doing nothing for a long time. It had been three days since the incident and she hadn’t been allowed to stand up once. On top of it all, she was in a room alone so she didn’t have someone to talk to.

Well, that wasn’t quite right, there was this nurse, Francie, who came looking for her a few times every day. They talked for a while about annoying people, the weather, Francie’s boyfriend, and guys, almost everything.

The silence in her room was driving her crazy, she wished she could turn on the radio but it was too far away and she didn’t want to bother someone when they had better things to do than help her. The worst thing about it was the time she had by herself. She used to keep busy, so she didn’t have too much time to think about her life and what she had done with it.

It was four years ago but she still couldn’t get over it and wished she could turn back time. She felt there were so many things that could have been done differently. Fortunately she heard a knock at the door and could now focus on something else and push the distressing thoughts away.

“Come in.” Sydney called, curious of whom it was.

To her delight Francie came in, “Hey.”

“How’s your shift?” Sydney asked.

“Ugh, don’t ask. There is this really terrible patient, a real pain in the ass.” Francie groaned and rolled her eyes.

“Sorry to hear that.” Sydney laughed, seeing the expression on Francie’s face when she told her about the patient.

“Enough about me. How are you?” Francie asked.

“Bored as hell.” Sydney complained, “Could you turn on the radio for me, please?”

“Sure. Has Doctor Vaughn been here yet?” Francie teased her. She had noticed that he visited her quite often in the last day and that Sydney wasn’t too talkative about that.

“Um…no.” Sydney answered.

“I noticed he’s here a lot.” Francie said, waiting for her reaction.

“He is?” Sydney asked innocently as if she hadn’t noticed.

“Oh, come on, you know it.” Francie replied impatiently, “What’s going on between the two of you?”

“Nothing, he just comes by from time to time.” Sydney replied, dodging the topic. She had noticed that too, but she didn’t want to read too much into it. Besides it wasn’t exactly something she wanted right now.

“Like, every five minutes?” Francie curiously raised an eyebrow.

“Well, okay I have no explanation for that, but there’s nothing going on.” Sydney answered.

Francie laughed as she saw Michael coming in. “You were saying?”

“Hey.” Michael greeted them.

“I was just about to leave…” Francie said, pointing towards the door and mouthed to Sydney “have fun” and received a death glare from her. Francie smirked and left.

“How are you feeling?” Michael asked, sitting down on a chair next to her.

“Bored and wishing I could leave.” Sydney complained frustrated.

“I brought you something to entertain you for at least a while.” He said, holding up a bag full of DVD’s.

“Wow, that’s quite a lot, did you rob a store?” Sydney chuckled while going through the bag. There were definitely some in there that she would watch.

“No, only my shelves. But I expect to get them back after you’ve been released.” Michael said.

“I’ll have to think about that.” Sydney joked.

“Oh, you better because I have a really good lawyer.” Michael said, trying to sound serious.

“Well then, I wouldn’t want to mess with him.” Sydney laughed, then she got more serious and asked, “Why are doing this?”

“What?” Michael asked slightly confused.

“Being so nice to me?” Sydney explained.

“Maybe I like you.” Michael suggested grinning.

“Maybe?” Sydney asked curiously, raising an eyebrow. Did he really like her? The thought made her giddy, although she didn’t want to go out with someone right now. She still had too much baggage from her last relationship that ended a few months ago. But on the other hand maybe it was time to move on.

Sydney stopped herself from thinking that way. It wasn’t like he had asked her to go out with him. But if he did, what would she say? Well, that wouldn’t happen too soon, considering she was still in the hospital for at least three weeks.

“Yeah, maybe. Guess you have to wait to find out.” He laughed.




Chapter 3


“Hey.” Michael said as he entered Sydney’s room after his night shift. It had been only three days since she had arrived, but he was so drawn to her that he ended up stopping by every few hours. Sometimes more than once in an hour. He was overstepping his patient doctor rules, but he couldn’t help it. She was like a drug, addictive.

“Sydney?” He asked, unsure whether she was awake or not. He saw her sleeping form and moved to tuck her in. When he lifted the blankets, however, she stirred.

“Hey.” She said groggily. “I didn’t know if you were gonna stop by or not. I guess I just drifted off…” She apologized.

“No problem, I was late.” He set the covers back down awkwardly and sat in the chair next to her. “How was your day?” He asked and smiled at her sleepy demeanor.

“Still fine. I believe you asked the same thing when you stopped by earlier.” She retorted. She started to stare at his smile, examining his lips. She thought how kissable he looked, how cute and caring, how she would just- wait, he’s your doctor! She yelled at herself. But, God, is he hot!

“I know…” He fumbled for the right thing to say. “Since we seem to be spending so much time together, why don’t you tell me something about yourself?” He asked hopefully, waiting nervously for her response.

She dodged the question, pretending to be playful and said, “How about you tell me about yourself and I’ll see if you’re worthy of my… history.” She shot him a coy smile, hoping he didn’t see through her treachery and into her tormented thoughts at his simple question.

“Hmmm…” He falsely pondered. “I guess that would be acceptable.” He scooted closer to her bed and leaned back in his chair. “Where should I start?”

“Um… the beginning.” She answered smiling at the comical look of him basking in relaxation after a hard day’s work.

He inadvertently felt self conscious about his posture when he saw her look him up and down, and smile. “What? Blood on my coat?” He joked, but seeing her bothered expression, stopped smiling and cleared his throat. “Yeah, the beginning… um...” He fumbled again. “Well, I was born in-”

“No.” She interrupted. “Like later than that, or at least a summary. I’m not gonna sit here forever.”

“At least three weeks.” He received a death glare from her. “Ok, ok, enough jokes. Well, my dad died when I was six, and so my mom-” He started, only to be interrupted by her again.

“I’m sorry.” She gave him a concerned glance, suddenly feeling remorse for being mean. He didn’t like seeing her sad, or feeling sorry for him and shrugged it off.

“Will you let me finish?” When she nodded silently, he continued again. “My mom sent me to prep school, where I always liked helping others. So I guess that’s why I became a doctor…heh. I went to Yale…”

“Wow. That’s a good school.” She looked over to him and saw the annoyance in his eyes. “Oh, right, shutting up now.”

“As I was saying, I got a job here about two years ago, and am currently working on learning how to do physical therapy.” He stopped and looked into her eyes, noticing the dull shimmer of a stressful life. He wanted to make her smile, a real smile, but was currently determined to find out more about her. “What about you?”

“Um…” Thoughts raced through her mind of what to tell him, how to say it, if she should say it, why she suddenly wanted to. Instead she chose the safe way out and grunted reaching for her wounded leg. “Ow.” She forced tears into her eyes and played the role perfectly.

“Sydney! Are you ok?” He stood up and moved to the other side of the hospital bed where her bandaged leg lay. He wondered why she suddenly felt pain. ‘That shouldn’t happen, I hope she’ll be all right.’ “Tell me where it hurts.” He requested as he poked different parts of her leg gently.

Oh, great. Now she had started something. She had to play along and picked a random point that ‘hurt’. “Ow?”

“Uh oh.” He sighed and stopped the examination.

“Uh oh?! What uh oh?” She panicked again, realizing he might think she needed surgery or something stupid like that.

“That’s not good.” He explained simply, possibilities of what to do running around in his head.

When she saw him reach for the emergency call button next to her bed she pulled his collar and crashed her lips to his, hoping to surprise him and distract him. He let one hand sit on the bed and moved his other hand to cup her cheek. His knees felt like they would fall if he let go so he balanced on his arm. He loved the electric feeling he got when her lips were on his. He wondered however, the true reason for her kiss. Was it planned? Did she really want it? Suddenly his professional side took over and he pulled back, much to his heart’s dismay.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” He apologized quietly. “Let me call the other doctors in so they can look at your leg.” He moved for the button again and she gave an exasperated sigh, having to go through this again. She seized his arm and forcefully pulled it down, throwing him off balance and out of reach of the button. Then she pulled her arm back and massaged the cuts that still slightly hurt.

“I don’t need any help!” She yelled, cursing for being so stupid to pretend something was hurting. For god’s sake he was a doctor, she should have expected this reaction.

He was taken aback and confused. “But, your leg…”

“It doesn’t hurt.” Sydney replied unfriendly.

“But you…”He was getting more and more confused.

“I lied.”




Chapter 4


“I lied.”

"Why?" Michael asked irritated.

"Doesn't matter. Could you please go, I'm tired?" Sydney looked away from him, out of the window.

"Okay, if that's what you want." Michael replied. He had no idea what the hell was going on. What had caused this sudden change of behavior? He was hurt by it but masked it by acting professional.

"Please." Sydney said quietly. She didn't look over at him, just waited for him to leave.

"Sure." Michael said with a voice that showed no emotion at all and left.

When she heard the door close, Sydney turned to the window and stared into the dark, silent and empty picture that unfolded in front of her eyes. Her thoughts raced through her head. Why had she done that?

It wasn’t that she had kissed him because she wanted to, but because she hadn’t been able to find another way to stop him from calling someone for help. ‘Yeah, that really had worked great.’ She thought sarcastically. Why hadn’t she done something else? But no, she had to kiss him.

She wondered what he was thinking about her now. Probably that she was crazy. One minute she kissed him, and the next she yelled at him. That wasn’t how people usually reacted. At least not when they were the one who started it.

Although, he hadn’t reacted the way she had expected either. Okay, first she hadn’t even been able to distract him. But what was more important, after the kiss he had acted way too professional for her liking. He even apologized for it.

She had thought that he liked her, considering that he visited her so much. Well, maybe he did and been just too surprised about the kiss. This really was complicated, especially since they had got along so well and Sydney had started to like him.

Though she hadn’t thought of starting to date him in particular, maybe they could become friends. It sounded dumb to think that she wanted to be 'just friends'. She recalled how lame of a break-up line that was. But now that this chance had passed, she realized that she truly would have liked to go out with him. Well, now that she had screwed up so bad he probably wouldn’t want to.

So whatever could have been, in one minute she had destroyed what had been building up in the last three days.

***

The next day after Sydney awoke, she was lying in her bed, still thinking about last night. She had hoped Michael would come by so that she could talk with him but he hadn’t shown up yet. She doubted he would.

There was a knock at her door and her heart rate increased immediately. Maybe it was Michael. But it wasn’t, it was Francie.

“Hey.” Sydney smiled, trying to hide her disappointment.

“You okay, you don’t look good?” Francie asked her concerned.

“Oh thanks.” Sydney answered dryly.

“What’s wrong?” Francie asked.

“Nothing.” Sydney wasn’t sure Francie was the right person to talk about what had happened. She wasn’t even sure there was a right person for that.

“Come on, I know something has happened. You’re not in a good mood, Doctor Vaughn’s in a weird mood. Tell me.” Francie demanded, curious of what terrible stuff had happened that her doctor hadn’t visit her even once today.

“I kissed him.” Sydney admitted quietly, knowing that was only half of the story.

“You did what?” Francie exclaimed surprised.

“I kissed him.” Sydney repeated.

“Wow, it must have been really bad, considering the mood you’re both are in.” Francie wondered what else had happened.

“It wasn’t, in fact it was pretty great.” Sydney blushed slightly, “And then I yelled at him.”

“You what?” Francie asked confused.

“Well, we were talking about our past and stuff, or better he was about his, and then he asked me about mine.” Sydney explained, “And then I…I don’t know what got into me.”

“What is so bad about your past that you couldn’t answer?” Francie looked at her questioning, not understanding how someone could react so bad about only having to speak about their past.

“It’s complicated.” Sydney sighed.

“Wanna talk about it?” Francie offered.

“Not really.” Sydney sighed again, “What am I going to do now?”

“Talk to him. Tell him why you don’t wanna tell him. Or just kiss him again.” Francie suggested and a grin spread across her face.

“How? He's not coming by and I can’t get up.” Sydney said frustrated.

“I could lock you two in here.” Francie smirked.

“For that he would have to come in here in the first place.” Sydney reminded her. Plus, being stuck in the same room with someone who had no desire to be in the room wasn’t fun.

“I’ll figure something out.” Francie promised, smiling at her, “Do you like him?”

“I think.” Sydney admitted quietly.

“So if I help you, you’ll let me be your witness to marriage.” Francie smiled at her.

“How about we take one step after another.” Sydney asked, now feeling slightly uncomfortable at this thought. She wasn’t even sure she wanted more with him. She only wanted to talk about yesterday.

It was true that she liked him, but being together with someone again, hadn’t been something Sydney hadn’t wanted so soon after her last break-up.

“Well, then I’m going to find your doctor.” Francie said goodbye and left the room, leaving Sydney with her confused thoughts and feelings alone.




Chapter 5


Leaving Sydney’s room, Francie walked down the hallway pondering how to get Michael to go into Sydney’s room. She finally found him in the break room making a cup of steaming coffee.

“You!” She said, anger in her voice.

“Um… Yeah?” Michael said as he poured the steaming liquid into his cup. He took a tentative sip to make sure it wasn’t too hot.

“I … oh, dang! Um...” Francie stumbled with her words, her anger suddenly dropping without warning. “You need to go back to Sydney... I mean, Ms. Bristow’s room.”

“Is she ok?” He asked worried, setting his cup back down.

“Yeah.” She looked at him disapprovingly. “You need to apologize.”

“Why? She kissed me, not the other way around.” He was not about to go back in there and make a fool out of himself. Again.

“Michael, that’s not the point.” Francie shrugged. It didn’t matter to her who started it, more so what had happened after that.

“Then what is, cause I’m not seeing one.” He picked up his cup of coffee again and sat in one of the plastic chairs.

She sighed, seeing that she really didn’t have a point. She just knew they were supposed to be together. “She didn’t want to talk about it.”

“About what? Her past?” Francie nodded. “I don’t see what could be such a big deal. She could have just said so, without the whole ‘ow’, my leg’ trick.” He shook his head and sighed.

“Okay, that might not have been good, but nevertheless you have to talk to her.” Francie emphasized the last part. "It's not like she can come to you..."

“It was a stupid thing to do.” Michael agreed, not saying whether or not he was going to talk to Sydney. Mainly because he wasn’t sure he should.

“Will you go talk to her, please?” Francie asked, worried that she had made their problem worse. Who was she kidding? It was already horrible. “For me?”

“Fine.” She deserved that much. “Maybe later though, I deserve this cup of coffee.” He sighed. She nodded and walked out of the room, concealing her smile.

***

Throughout the day Michael was busy with working. Today he had to work in the emergency room, which was really busy. They were some huge accidents and injured people came in non-stop.

He also debated with himself whether he should go to Sydney. He had avoided her all through the day. But she had talked about this with Francie, so it seemed she wanted to talk with him.

The truth was he wanted to talk with her about it. The problem was he didn’t know what to say. That kiss had been, well, it had been 'wow'. He had the feeling that he was falling for her and that couldn’t happen.

She was his patient, asking her out was against every doctor-patient rule. On the other hand he now was sure she had only kissed him to stop him from calling someone. Because that would have showed that she had lied. So it only had been a distraction, not what she was feeling? Right?

He couldn’t help but feel sad about that.

***

Inside her room Sydney was wondering when Michael would come. If he would come at all. Francie had told her he would probably stop by, and since that moment she had nervously been waiting for him to come. But so far he hadn’t and she was beginning to doubt he ever would.

She had been thinking about what she should tell him, how she should explain her reaction.

The thought of the kiss increased her heartbeat. It had been a great kiss and she couldn’t get her mind off of it. She was developing feelings for him she didn’t like. It was more than just liking him; it already was a deeper feeling.

She wished she hadn’t kissed him to distract him because she was sure he would find out about her 'reasoning'. Now he probably wasn’t going to talk to her again, he already had proven that by not coming by anymore.

She just wondered whether it was because he had no feelings for her, or it was just awkward for him to see her again, or because he had feelings for her and she had hurt him with her insane reaction.

Shifting nervously in her bed she tried to change her position a little. She was getting tired of lying in bed all the time. It was frustrating her, especially now that she had so much on her mind and couldn’t distract herself to save her life. She had never really been one to sit still for too long.

Quite some time later she heard a knock at the door. Instantly her heart started pounding furiously, like it was going to explode any time. Was it him?

“Yeah?” Sydney called, her voice trembling slightly.

“Hey.” Michael greeted her quietly as he walked in.

“Michael…uh, I mean Doctor Vaughn.” Sydney stuttered, not sure how to address him.

“Michael’s fine.” He smiled at her uncertainly. How should he start?

“Okay, I’m glad you came.” Sydney couldn’t hide her smile.

“I didn’t have a choice, did I? Who wants to have an angry Francie around?” Michael laughed slightly.

“Yeah...” Sydney agreed, staring at him, wondering what she should say next.

“Francie said you wanted to talk to me.” Michael said.

“Yes, I wanted to apologize for yesterday. It wasn’t right what I did.” Sydney apologized.

“What exactly? Lying, kissing or yelling at me?” Michael hoped she wasn’t talking about kissing him because that would mean she really had no interest in him.

Sydney looked at him unsurely. Should she tell him that she didn’t regret kissing him but regretted yelling and lying to him? Was he, after all, still interested in her or interested in her at all?




Chapter 6


“Well, not all of it, but I was at fault too.” Sydney said.

“It was overstepping my boundaries anyway... So, we shouldn’t do that again. At least not here.” He looked at her, mentally cursing himself, it might have sounded like he was asking her out. He would like to, but the rules held him like chains away from her.

Did he just ask her out? That’s what it sounded like, but she wasn’t sure. ‘At least not here.’ Did that mean he wanted to go somewhere else with her? And his boundaries? She hadn’t even thought of the rules he might have about dating patients… Sydney blushed feeling stupid, thinking he was even asking her out.

“Sydney?” He asked tentatively, she had been sitting there thinking for a good minute and a half. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He sounded more like a psychologist than a doctor.

“My story or about what happened yesterday?” Sydney asked, looking away, pretending to be thinking again, but she didn’t answer.

“Yeah, your story.” Michael looked at her expectantly.

“It’s complicated?” Sydney sighed sadly.

“Well, I have time.” Michael answered, smiling softly at her.

“I know, but it’s something I don’t really like to talk about.” Sydney avoided answering him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell him, well actually it was, but she also couldn’t. She could tell anyone what had happened in her past. It was too painful for her and she still felt so much guilt and anger.

She regretted this more than anything in her life and was wishing every day that she could go back in time and change everything, tell him not to go. It affected so much of her present life.

She couldn’t tell Michael. She really had begun to like him and that was exactly the reason why she couldn’t. She had done this before, telling her boyfriend about her past and it caused everything to fall apart. After that she had sworn to herself she never would do it again. But when did he become her boyfriend?

“You could try.” Michael offered, squeezing her hand gently. He sensed that there was something in her life that hurt her and she didn’t want to talk about. But maybe if she would, it would ease the pain she was feeling. That was what he wanted more than anything right now.

“I’m sorry Michael. I really am. It’s just too painful.” She wouldn’t dare look at his eyes.

“Ok, how about something else? Like how or why you’re in here?” He sat down in the chair again, still holding her hand.

“Michael…” She began, why did every subject he choose have to be hard?

“Syd, its not like you could have gotten that many bruises AND broken that many bones by yourself.” He joked, not thinking. If he really thought about it, there was probably something wrong in her life that caused all this. Who did this to her? He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to hurt such a beautiful woman.

She was slightly taken aback by his shortening of her name. She kinda liked that but at the moment she had to many other things on her mind to think about it.

She feared that if she told him too much, he might find out about Tyler and the whole reason she was beaten up. And that was something she couldn’t let happen. Not again, not ever again. Because that had been the beginning of everything. “I can’t tell you.”

“Or else what? You’ll have to kill me?” He joked, always trying to lighten the mood for his patients, but for some reason, he was trying really hard to make her smile. She looked down again and he thought that maybe there was some problem that she couldn’t talk about. “Syd, you can tell me. If you don’t want me to, I wont tell anyone else.”

“When did I become Syd?” She asked flipping subjects again. He chuckled lightly and shrugged.

“I think it’s cute.” He flirted.

“I can’t tell you for a good reason. I don’t want him getting hurt.” She covered her mouth with her free hand, stopping herself from talking. Why had she said that?

“Him? Who’s he?” He tried to search her eyes, but she wasn’t looking at him. “Your boyfriend? Friend? Dad? Brother?”

When he said 'boyfriend', she slammed her eyes shut to hold back the tears. After all those years, it still hurt so much. She had never gotten over what had happened and she doubted she ever would.

“Syd, what’s wrong?” Michael asked concerned when he saw tears running down her cheeks.

“Nothing, everything is just fine.” Sydney said a little harshly, wiping away the tears. She didn’t want to cry in front of him. That only would cause even more questions than he already had.

“Come on, you don’t have to lie to me. Tell me please.” Michael asked her pleadingly.

Sydney looked at him, pondering if she should tell him. But she couldn’t. Being in that situation brought back memories she wanted to forget. They weren’t nice.




Chapter 7


“OUT.” She said, her voice shaking and she wasn’t sure whether it was because of the pain she was feeling again or the anger, “Get Out! Please.”

He stumbled backwards out of the chair, completely caught off guard by her sudden outburst. One minute she looked quiet, smaller, fearful, lost, and the next she was yelling at him full force. He could see that she was about to cry and instead of heeding her warnings; he got closer to her and managed to wrap his arms around her shaking body. “It’s ok. Let it out.” He told her as she broke down in his arms, not protesting anymore.

“Leave me alone, please.” Sydney sobbed but she didn’t try to push him away again. It was comforting having him so close although everything in her was screaming at her that she shouldn’t let herself fall for him. It wasn’t long ago that her heart had been broken, she couldn’t risk that again.

“Shh, I’m here for you.” Michael assured her. Gently he was rubbing her back, pulling her closer to him.

“You shouldn’t be.” Sydney was sure that the moment he found out who she really was, how her life had been, he would leave her.

“Why?” He asked softly. He wondered why she wouldn’t let him help her.

“You don’t know me.” Sydney said distantly, pulling away from him. She even managed to get further away from him than she had thought she could.

“Then tell me.” Michael offered.

“We had this conversation already.” She sighed. She looked away from him as if that would stop him from asking any more questions.

“What happened to you Sydney?” Michael used her whole name again. Maybe that would have some impact on her. He wanted to help her but he had to know what had happened. How she got into the hospital.

“Life.” Sydney laughed bitterly. Tears were forming in her eyes again.

“What happened?” Michael asked again, softly caressing her cheek.

“Don’t.” Sydney pushed his hand away. This moment, Michael’s beeper went off.

“Gotta go.” Michael said apologizing, though he was sure she was glad about that. He had to admit, it hurt a little to know that.

“It’s okay.” Sydney shrugged. Honestly, she was happy that he had to go. She needed time to herself. To remember her past life was exhausting. Emotionally and physically. There were too many emotions still involved with it. She had lost so much; she didn’t know how to get over it.

That night was hard for her. She didn’t get much sleep, she was only tossing in her bed, turning around from one side to the other and back. After hours of restlessness, she fell asleep, or better she had cried herself to sleep.

***

The next morning she felt even worse than the day before. As she heard a knock, she thought it would be Francie like every day. To her surprise someone completely different came in.

“Tyler.” Sydney exclaimed stunned.

“Hi.” Tyler said shyly. He looked down on the floor, not coming in.

“Hey, you can come in.” Sydney said softly.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that would happen, I swear.” His voice was trembling as he said that, sitting down next to her.

“I know, are you okay? Did they hurt you too?” Sydney asked concerned. She didn’t care that she was hurt but she had been worried about him.

“No.” Tyler shook his head.

“Good.” Sydney sighed gladly.

“Are you hurt badly?” He asked quietly.

“I’ll be okay, really.” Sydney assured him.

Tyler shifted in his chair. He was feeling bad about what happened and blamed himself for that. He was thankful that she wasn’t hurt worse. She didn’t deserve that for trying to help him.

“I’m okay.” She assured him again, “Just promise me you’ll be careful while I’m here. Don’t try anything on your own.”

“I swear I won’t, though I agree, we shouldn’t try it again. Only worse things could happen.” Tyler said sadly.

“It’s going to be okay. We’ll find a way.” Sydney promised him. She wished she would be as certain as she sounded.

“Okay.” Tyler nodded.

“You better go.” Sydney told him. It was better when he wasn’t here too long. If the others noticed she had a visitor, they certainly would be skeptic and she wouldn’t put Tyler in any more danger.

He was a good guy; he only had been friends with the wrong people. His life hadn’t been easy and that was probably why he got involved with them. He had wanted something to belong to, and Sydney could understand that.

“Okay. I’ll see you around.” Tyler stood up, looked at her again and then left.

Outside he passed Michael. Of course Tyler didn’t know who he was, but Michael saw that he came out of Sydney’s room and he wondered who this 17 or so old guy was. He decided to ask her later about him, though he doubted he would get any answers.




Chapter 8


One Week Later.

“Hey Syd.” Francie greeted, walking into Sydney’s room. “How ya been?”

“Alright, still a little pain, but whatever, right?” Sydney shrugged.

“I’ll get you some more morphine. You shouldn’t be in any pain.” She came over to check on her food and water. “How’s Michael?” She teased.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him lately.” She gasped as the peroxide was gently wiped over her cuts and scratches with a cloth. It still hurt, but they were mostly healed.

“Sorry, it does sting a little.” Francie told her. “What did you do, kiss him again?”

“No, why is it that you only talk about that kiss?” She joked, gesturing towards the door and the rest of the hospital.

“You don’t get it?” She asked, getting out band-aids and applying them to the remains of her cuts. “He likes you.”

“Really?” She asked in disbelief, rethinking all their conversations.

“Its obvious!” Francie said, exasperated that she hadn’t noticed when the rest of the staff did. “He almost missed his surgery last week when he was in here with you!”

“Oh my God. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” Sydney sighed, feeling a bit dumb for not noticing though it really had been noticeable, if she only had paid attention.

“You were too drugged to notice.” Francie laughed.

“Yeah, that’s probably about right.” Sydney smiled, a real smile. She had forgotten the last time she was truly content. Instead of dwelling on the past, she pushed those thoughts out of her head and laughed along with Francie.

Michael stood in the doorway, seeing her smile like that was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He wondered why she was smiling, and then his thoughts crashed into the possibility that it was because of her visitor. “Excuse me, ladies.” He interrupted their laughing and entered the room desperate to talk to her.

“Hey Mike.” Francie greeted, winking at Sydney, who blushed lightly.

“Hey.” She said bashfully.

“Glad to see you all are having fun.” He came and stood next to Francie. “What are you guys laughing about?”

“Nothing.” They both answered, a bit too quickly.

“Really… somehow, I don’t believe it.” He looked at them skeptically.

“It’s nothing. What’s up with you?” Sydney asked, as Francie finished with the peroxide and said her goodbye and left.

“Just normal hospital stuff.” He replied casually.

“Yeah, that’s what I would have guessed.” She smiled lightly. “I hear you missed your surgery last week.” She teased.

“Almost.” He added.

“Yeah, whatever. You know you don’t have to come in here like every five minutes.” She sat up in her bed and put her hands in her lap.

“What if I want to?” He stepped closer.

“I would think you had no life.” She grinned.

“I do too.” He leaned closer to her.

“Do not.” She leaned up to him, caught up in their mindless banter.

“I do too.” He protested again, but leaned in the rest of the way and gently touched her lips to his own. He felt the same electric shock he felt when they had kissed the first time, but this time was better because she wasn’t playing tricks. He lightly pulled back and locked eyes with her, their lips still inches apart.

“Are you sure?” He wanted to make sure she was alright with it before they tried it again. Her answer came in the form of her hands grabbing his coat and pulling his lips back to hers.

“Ahem…” A throat cleared in the doorway.

They broke apart quickly and Sydney blushed, feeling like a teenager caught by her dad. Michael took a step back from the hospital bed, and they looked at the door.



“Told you something was up.” Francie smirked. “What took you so long?”

“Um… Francie… Could you not tell anyone?” Michael asked, hoping not to be removed from Sydney’s case.

“Why? Cause its against the rules?” Francie asked grinning.

“Exactly. Please don’t.” Michael answered.

“I know. I won’t tell.” She walked over the Sydney’s bedside and laid down a pack of morphine. “Don’t let me bug you, go on back to what you were doing.” She smiled satisfied and sauntered out of the room again, leaving the pair blushing and nervous.

“Um…” Michael said, unsure of what to do next.

“Yeah.” Sydney looked back up at him, now a little more scared. “Could you really get fired?” She asked, her voice faltering.

“Nah, they’d just move me off your case.” He gulped. “Don’t worry, Francie won’t tell.”

“I hope not.” Sydney sighed.

“But that was kind of exiting, right?” He was hoping to get her mood back up; the interruption had frozen the previous feelings.

“What, the possibility of you getting fired or the fact that the whole hospital will know about us, like,” She looked at an imaginary watch on her wrist, “Now.”

“Sydney. Don’t get mad. Normal people do it all the time, it’s not a big deal.” Michael tried to calm her down.

“Normal people don’t have-“ She covered her mouth with her hand, surprised at herself for almost admitting the biggest secret of her life. “You know what?”

“What? You never finish sentences?” He sighed. “Life can’t be that hard.”

“Believe me, it is.” Sydney said distantly.

“Why should I believe you? All you do is tell lies.” Michael stated.

“I do not!” She said angrily.

“Well, I consider it a lie when you’re not completely honest with someone who cares about you.” He crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.

“You care about… me?” She asked, stunned at his sudden admittance.

“Yeah, but don’t go switching the subject again. It’s not gonna work!” He was getting angry with her, but also nervous because now she knew how he felt about her. “Why can’t you tell me the problem!?”

“Cause I like you too!”



Chapter 9



“Cause I like you too!” Sydney now sounded slightly desperate, unable to handle the situation.

“I don’t understand.” Michael looked at her irritated. He couldn’t figure her out. One minute she was open with him and the next she pulled away and was distant.

“What’s there not to understand?” Sydney sighed heavily.

“That’s not what I meant. I don’t understand why you can’t tell me what's wrong, because liking me is not a reason to hide it. It’s more the contrary.” Michael tried to explain.

“You wouldn’t understand.” Sydney looked at her hands, nervously playing with them. She knew he wouldn’t understand. He didn’t have the same background, didn’t live the same life so there was no way he possibly could.

“Try me.” Michael replied challenging.

Sydney sighed again, “I already told you it’s complicated and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“This really doesn’t go anywhere. All we do is going round and round in circles.” Michael stood up and walked to the door, hoping she would say anything to hold him back.

“And of course that’s my fault, right?” Sydney exclaimed angrily.

“Well, I don’t know what else I can do so that you will open up and talk to me.” Michael replied, turning around.

“Maybe you could stop pushing for starters and stop asking about my past. If I wanted to tell you, I would but at the moment that’s not an option.” Sydney looked right at him. She hoped he would finally accept it.

“So we just go on fooling ourselves? To be together requires trust and obviously you don’t trust me.” Michael said. He knew he sounded bitter but at the moment he didn’t care.

“God, we’ve known each other for… what… three weeks now, maybe I’m not ready to talk about my life yet, maybe I need more time.” Sydney snapped at him, “And who said we are together anyway?”

The moment she said that she wished she hadn’t. It had just slipped; it wasn’t something she had wanted to say. She kicked herself mentally, now she had finally screwed up everything. How many times could she hurt him before he eventually got sick of her? Well, she didn’t have to worry about that now, she seemed to have managed to loose him.

She looked at him and saw his hurt expression. She knew it had only been a matter of time before he would realize that he didn’t want to be together with her.

“I’m sorry, I... I didn’t mean it that way.” Sydney tried to apologize.

“No, I think you did.” He looked at her sadly, “I better go now.”

“No, please!” Sydney said desperately, not wanting him to leave, “Michael, please.”

Michael sighed and put his hand on the doorknob. But somehow he couldn’t get himself to leave. Maybe it was the way her voice sounded. She really seemed to want him to stay. The only thing was he wasn’t sure if he should.

“What’s left to say?” He sighed and turned around to face her.

“I didn’t mean it, I swear.” Her voice was shaking, “I want to be together with you.” It was the truth, she wanted to, though her mind told her not to, but she knew there was no point in fighting her heart. It would probably be broken again, most likely when she told him about herself but at least she had to try.

“Then why do you keep pushing me away?” Michael asked.

“Because it’s easier that way. My life had been… I don’t know how to describe but it wasn’t nice. And talking about it hurts, I need time to trust people and you have to accept that. That’s part of who I am.” Sydney explained quietly, “And if you want me, you have to take that part too and we have to go at my pace.”

“Okay.” Michael nodded and came closer to sit down on the side of her bed again.

“I need time, it’s not going to work otherwise. We have to take it slow.” Sydney whispered, not looking at him. She was happy he came back but she still wondered if he really was okay with it, with taking it slow.

“I’m sorry for pushing. I’ll wait okay?” Michael pulled her to him and kissed her softly on the top of her head.

Sydney nodded and looked up into his eyes, seeing that he really meant it.

“Can I ask you one question?” Michael asked carefully, “It’s not about your past, I promise.”

“Okay.” Sydney agreed.

“But promise not to yell at me.” Michael said, smiling weakly.

“I won’t.” Sydney promised while laughing lightly. It felt good to laugh again, after what had happened and it also seemed to lighten the mood of both of them. Neither was as tensed as before and Sydney was feeling comfortable around him again.

“I wanted to ask you…” He glanced at the door, nervous if he really should ask. Maybe he wouldn’t like the answer. “Who was that guy that came by the other day?”

Sydney was surprised by him knowing about Tyler coming to visit, and also scared that he might find out about them. She didn’t want to lie to him again, not after what happened before, but it really was the only way out of this.

“Why? Jealous?” She joked and gave him a smile.

“Why? Should I be?” He challenged. “Is he your…Boyfriend?” The word stung his heart.

“Why would you think that?” She was going to try and be honest, at least a little. “No.”

“Good.” He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Um…” He realized she probably knew he was jealous, even though he was not her official boyfriend, yet. Or was he? He probably had to talk about that with her. But not now, later. “Who was he then?”

“Just a friend.” She felt time turning backwards to the first fight they had about this same topic, her not being completely honest.

“Are you gonna kiss me again?” He asked, seemingly out of the blue.

“What?” She was shocked that he was being so forward.

“Last time, I seem to remember you lying, then you ended up kissing me.” Michael grinned, “Well and on other times.” He added, grinning even more.

“Was it that bad?” She flirted.

“No, not at all.” Michael flirted back.

“And who said I was lying this time?” Sydney raised her eyebrow. She knew she was going on dangerous terrain but she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“He seemed a bit too young to be a friend of yours.” Michael answered.

‘Damn it’ Sydney cursed herself. She should have thought of this. Maybe this time she should tell him the truth. It couldn’t hurt telling him who Tyler was, could it? She didn’t have to go into too much detail.




Chapter 10


“When I moved here, after finishing college, I got an offer to be a social worker.” She took a deep breath, trying to hold herself from crying while thinking of why she decided to become a social worker. “And at first, I was really scared, you know, cause of all the crime and the bad location, but then I noticed that you really can make a difference with these kids, that you really can help them with their problems. ” She smiled at the memory of her first day. “So, I worked there for about a month or two, and Tyler,”

“Tyler?” Michael interrupted.

“The guy you’re jealous of… yeah, so Tyler was kind of struggling with life and having a hard time staying away from trouble, he also had many problems with school, mostly ‘cause he rarely went to class.” She took another deep breath, really struggling to tell Michael about him. He gently put his hand on top of hers and gave her a look that said he would be patient with her.

“It’s alright. I’m here.” He soothed.

“Thanks.” She held onto his hand and tried to start again. “So I offered to tutor him after school and help him with everything.”

“And he beat you up?” Michael asked, hoping that wasn’t the case.

“No. No, no, no.” She answered firmly, defending Tyler. “I got beat up by a gang on the way to his house one day.” She decided to leave out the other facts.

“Oh my God, Syd. Why didn’t you tell me?” He wrapped his arms protectively around Sydney while she softly cried into his chest, horrible memories of the attack bringing themselves to the surface. “Did they do… anything… else to you?”

“No, when they noticed they had broken my leg, I guess they were satisfied.” She chuckled lightly.

“What?” He asked, confused again.

“I really pissed ‘em off with that pepper spray.” He chuckled softly along with her.

“I’m glad your ok.” He admitted.

“Am I?” She frowned.

“At least your still fixable.” He corrected. “You wanna try to walk a bit?”

“Really?” She looked into his eyes hopefully. “Can I?”

“I’ll have to help you, but, sure. I’m working on my degree in Physical Therapy.” He stood up and offered her his hand as she slowly turned to the side of her bed and gingerly let her leg hang, still in the cast. She grimaced in unfamiliar pain, but smiled none the less, happy to finally be moving more than three inches out of her normal spot.

“Oh, no, you’re new to this. You could kill me.” She joked, he was happy to see her having fun again and wanted to make her smile all the time.

“I hope not.” He winked at her, causing her to giggle. He wrapped his arm around her waist and lightly lifter her over the edge of the hospital bed, carefully letting her stand on her good leg, while still supporting her around the waist.

“Alright, slowly.” She told him, still getting used to this weird feeling. He guided her across to the window; not totally letting her put her weight on her bandaged leg, but letting her think she was.

“Let’s take a break.” He advised, once they reached the window. She was obviously straining to stand and so he continued to hold her up.

“I’m so glad to get out of that stupid bed.” She groaned at the thought of having to return to it. “I haven’t seen outside for weeks! Can we go out there tomorrow?”

“You can’t walk that far, sweets.” He told her sadly.

“Can you wheel me out there? I don’t care, I just want out of this dumb room.” He finally saw a real side of her, something he had never seen before. She was not a very patient person when it came to sitting still for too long.

“I’ll try.” He promised, grinning at her.

“Thanks.” She leaned her head on his strong shoulder, content to finally getting back to some semi balance of normality.

***

She woke up, startled by her door opening, and wondered who it was coming to see her at such a late hour. “Hello?” She asked into the semi darkness at the black figure moved towards her.

“Shut up!” He yelled. She rubbed her eyes to clear the blankness away. Only then did she notice he had a gun held up, pointing directly at her.

“What… What do you want?!?” She panicked, hoping she could secretly reach the call button. The moment her hand started moving toward the big red dot on the table beside her, he noticed.

“Don’t even think about it missy.” He warned, cocking the gun for emphasis.

“What do you want with me?” Sydney asked scared.

“I know who you are. I know what you did, and I don’t like you.” He said spitefully.

“Are you gonna just shoot me?” She asked, afraid if he would say yes. Tears started falling from her eyes, thinking this could be her last night alive. She had so much to do before she died. She had to get back to Jessica, no matter what the consequences.

“Maybe. Unless you tell me why I shouldn’t…” He teased.

“I don’t know who you are! How am I supposed to tell you not to hurt me? I don’t know what I did to you!” She was scared to death, but trying so hard to cover it up with yelling and keeping him talking, hoping Michael or someone would come and help.

“Consider me a friend of Tyler.” He said, while Sydney’s mind raced, frightened and helpless to defend herself. The following blast was lost on her ears, due to the massive pain she felt hit her right shoulder. She grunted in pain and looked up to see that the man was gone.




Chapters 11-20