Until We Meet Again

Author: Janet (SkyGirl5)

Genre: S/V, AU CIA

Summary: Michael Vaughn is a CIA officer working in Washington, DC. He is assigned to be a double agent inside the covenant where he is to look for a missing CIA operative: Sydney Bristow.

A/N: Ok so assume that Sydney's life happened pretty much exactly like Alias, only Vaughn was never her handler. Danny was killed, she became a double agnet and took down SD-6, then the covenant came from her. But she's never known vaughn at all, but Vaughn knows OF her.

Disclaimer: Sydney, Vaughn, etc are properties of JJ Abrams and ABC.

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Chapters 1-10 // Chapters 11 - 20 // Chapters 21-30 // 31-40 // 41-50 // 51-60 // 61-65 + Epilogue

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 61

They held each other on her driveway for ten minutes before she finally let him go. She took his hand and pulled him towards her house. Once inside she shut the door and pulled him into a kiss.

“I’m sorry Vaughn.” She sobbed in between kisses. “I’m sorry for freaking out... I’m sorry for saying it was a mistake... I’m sorry for Danny and Will and everything and everyone.”

“Syd it’s ok. It’s ok. I’m sorry too about Alice and everything but it’s all behind us now ok? It’s just us now and I’m never letting you go.” He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her as close to him as possible.

She smiled as nuzzled her face against his. “You’re so amazing you know that?”

“So are you.” He whispered.

“Mmm do we have to go in to work today?” She sighed.

“I had no plans to do that.”

“Good.” She laughed. She moved her arms from around his neck to down around his waist and hugged him even tighter. “I’m never letting go.” She sighed.

“Good but do you think we could move to the couch or something? You’re standing on my foot.” He laughed.

“Oh sorry.” She said as she quickly moved her own foot. “Let’s sit.” She said while pulling him towards her couch. She sat down in his lap so that she was facing him. “Hi.” She sighed.

“Hi.” He smiled.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Did you really fall in love with me that first day we met?” She asked. He nodded. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You were just so broken.... I just wanted to fix you.”

She smiled. “Do you know when I fell in love with you?”

“No.” He shook his head.

“Do you remember that first day they gave me whatever the hell that stuff was that made you have seizures? And you carried me back and you kissed my forehead?” She asked.

He nodded. “That was the worst day of my life.... actually it was my birthday.”

“No! Was it?” She asked. He nodded. “That’s awful... but, yeah it was then. Looking back, I mean. I realized then that you couldn’t have been like them because no one that would do that could have ever been.”

He smiled and kissed her sweetly. “We’ve been through some really crazy stuff you know?”

“Yes.” She laughed. “Was it worth it?”

He sighed as he thought for a moment. “I think it was... worth it... for this moment right here.” He smiled.

“I’d have to agree.” She smiled back. “So... I think we need a plan.”

“A plan?” He asked.

“Yes a plan. We have to have one because there is no way I want to be apart from you ever.” She smiled.

“I’d have to agree with that.” He said.

“Move in here.” She requested.

“Really?” He asked.

“Sure.” She smiled.

“What about that whole rushing thing? I mean... its not to fast?” He asked.

“No.” She shook her head. “I was just being stupid before... besides, we’re getting so old.” She groaned.

He laughed. “That’s true.”

“I don’t like being old.” She pouted.

“Me neither.” He sighed. “I wish we could be twenty again.”

“Oh god... me at twenty.” She sighed.

“What were you like at twenty?” He asked.

“A nerd.” She said. He laughed. “It’s true... well I was a nerd in high school but by twenty I had joined SD-6 so I was a nerd who could kick your ass.”

He laughed harder. “I’d wish I could have seen that.”

“Oh yeah I was a sight.”

“I bet you were adorable.” He smiled.

She rolled her eyes. “What about you Mr. Vaughn?”

“Well... at twenty... Weiss and I were making trouble around our dorm.” He laughed.

“Uh oh.” She said.

“Yeah we were partners in crime. It’s amazing we didn’t get thrown out of that school really.” He sighed. She laughed. “Yeah but then we joined the CIA....”

“And they straightened you out.” She smiled.

“Oh I was already quite straightened out by then but Weiss... well he got scared straight during his first day on the firing range.”

“Oh no did he shoot someone? Because he’s been prone to doing that.” She smiled.

He laughed. “No but he almost shot himself.”

“Niiiice.” Sydney sighed. “Oh this is nice.” She sighed as she buried her face in Vaughn’s chest.

“Yeah.” He sighed as he slid further down the couch. Sydney rearranged herself so that she was lying completely on top of him.

“Am I crushing you?” She asked.

“Little bit but its ok.” He smiled.

“Okay.” She sighed, resting her head in the crook of his neck. Then they laid there, perfectly content with Vaughn stroking her hair and Sydney rubbing tiny circles in his arm for over an hour.

“Tell me something Vaughn.” She requested quietly.

“About what?” He asked.

She could hear the vibrations in his chest since her hear was pressed up against it. “About your dad.”

“My dad... he was a great guy. Every Sunday, every single Sunday he was home and not on a mission, he would take me to the park and we’d play catch for an hour. Then he’d push me on the swings or something until my mom made us come home for dinner. I loved those Sunday’s...” He sighed.

“When I was eight, right before he left on his last mission, he gave me a watch. I remember that my mom was so upset with him because she told him that I was going to loose it since I was so young. But he said that I wouldn’t because I was old enough to understand that it was important and special. He told me that watch was very special. When I asked him why he said that I was too young to understand why but one day I’d understand why that watch was so special. That watch was the best watch I ever had. It never had to be reset, it always kept time perfectly. I had it from the time I was eight and I wore it every day until two years ago when suddenly it stopped working. I’ve taken it to three different stores and none of the people know why it won’t work.”

“When did it stop?” She asked quietly.

“The moment I met you.” He said. She lifted her head and looked at him curiously. “I know it was working when I walked into that cell to interrogate you. But when I walked out, it had stopped. It was a sign. I didn’t know it then but I know it now.”

Sydney smiled. “That’s so neat.”

“Neat? Neat!? Who says neat?” He laughed.

“I do.” She smiled proudly. “I say ‘neat’ and ‘gee golly wiz’.”

He laughed loudly. “Gee golly wiz... Syd if I ever hear you say that I’m going to have to smack you.”

“Hey! Domestic abuse!” She whined. “Gee golly wiz Vaughn.” She rolled her eyes.

He laughed harder. “What did I ever do without you hmm?”

“I dunno.” She shrugged with a smile.



Chapter 62

“So... its five o’clock... should we get food?” He asked. “Or maybe just some champagne.” He added with a smirk.

She smacked his chest lightly as she got off of him and sat up on the couch. “Ohh that was comfy.” She sighed.

“I’m glad I make a good bed.” He laughed.

“You do.” She smiled. “As for food... I made turkey last night, we could have sandwiches.”

“Okay.” He smiled. “So Sydney Bristow can cook huh?”

“No, she can’t.” She laughed. “I’m horrible. I can only cook things that can be put in a pot and then put into the oven for a specific period of time. That whole mixing stuff together thing is beyond me.”

Vaughn laughed. “So you can disarm a bomb before it goes off but making lasagna would kill you?”

“Pretty much.” She said.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” He winked.

“Why? Are you trying to off me?” She questioned suspiciously.

“Never. I just might have to make it my job to teach you how to cook.” He smiled.

“That could be fun.” She said. “I like this.”

“What?”

“Being domestic with you.” She said as she began to set the table with plates and silverware.

“I like it too.” He grinned. Just then, both their pagers went off.

“Nooooooo.” Sydney groaned. “Make someone else do it.”

“Hold on.” Vaughn said as he picked up his cell and dialed the number on the page. “This is Vaughn.”

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!” Eric demanded.

“What’s going on?” Vaughn asked him after mouthing ‘Weiss’ to Sydney who nodded.

“Kendall is like spazzing out.”

“Why is Kendall spazzing?”

“Because he hasn’t seen you or Sydney in like two weeks and he thinks you both DIED!” Weiss exclaimed.

“Well tell him we’re not dead but we are working on a special project of our own.” Vaughn said while winking at Sydney, who giggled.

“Special project? You dog.” Weiss laughed.

“I’m hanging up now.” Vaughn said as he flipped his phone shut before Weiss could protest.

“What was that about?” Sydney asked.

“Oh Kendall’s pissed but that’s not new.” Vaughn smiled.

“Right.” She laughed. “Hey Vaughn, do you ever think about your future with the CIA?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well... like how long are you going to be an agent for?” She asked.

“Ohh... well, I decided a long time ago that once I had kids I’d never go out on another mission because I didn’t want them to have to grow up without a father like I did.” He told her.

She smiled at him, walked over and kissed him. “You’re perfect you know that?”

“So that was a good answer hmm?” He laughed softly.

“Perfect.” She said before walking back to the refrigerator.

“What about you missy?” He asked her.

“Well I quit daily.” She smiled. He laughed. “It’s true.”

“I know that’s why it’s funny.”

“I dunno.” She shrugged. “Probably the next time I get captured, tortured, beaten etcetera I’ll quit for good and go back to teaching.”

“Ohh I bet you look so cute with you’re chalk and you’re glasses and all.” He grinned.

“Stop it.” She laughed.

“Although...” He said with an evil grin. “It would fulfill a fantasy of mine...”

She laughed. “You’re so bad.”

“I know.” He grinned.

“But as long as we’re talking about fantasies...”

“I’m listening?” He smiled though he suspected his face was turning bright red.

She shook her head and blushed. “Sorry I can’t continue this. I’m a prude.”

“You are not.” He told her.

“Well, maybe not but I’m not going to sit here and detail all my fantasies to you. We haven’t even been on a date yet.” She said.

“Are you kidding me?!” He asked in an exasperated manor. “We’ve been on TONS of dates. Including the datiest of all dates in Paris.”

“That’s true.” She sighed. Then she laughed. “Datiest.”

“That’s a word.” He insisted.

“No, its not.” She laughed.

“OK fine it’s not.” He sighed.

~*~

After they ate, Vaughn helped Sydney do the dishes and put away the left over food. “Okay I have to go.” He sighed.

“No aren’t you staying?” She asked.

“Well, I can stay but I have to have clothes.” He told her.

“Noooo stay here; be naked.” She whined.

He laughed. “I cannot stay here and be naked.”

“But I don’t want you to leave.” She sighed as she hugged him.

“You can come with me if you want.”

“Okay.” She smiled.

“You’re so adorable.” He laughed.

Once in his apartment, Vaughn grabbed a bag and began to throw a few days worth of clothes into it. “Whatcha doing?” He asked Sydney when saw her looking around his apartment.

“Finding out how much stuff I’m going to have to make room for.” She smiled.

“You’re still serious about me moving in?” He asked.

“Of course.” She smiled. He smiled back.

“I’ve got my eyes shut!! Is anybody naked?!” Weiss asked as he poked his head in the door.

“No.” Sydney laughed.

“Oh good.” He sighed with relief as he opened his eyes and walked in Vaughn’s apartment. “It’s nice to see you guys in person. It’s been days.”

“We’ve been busy.” Vaughn said.

“Yeah, caught that.” Eric said.

“Anyway we’re not saying, see you around buddy.” Vaughn smiled.

“SEE YOU AROUND?!” Weiss gasped. “No, oh hell no. Job, work, CIA – remember that? I cannot take Kendall’s yelling for one more day.”

“Sorry Eric.” Sydney sighed. “We’re taking some time off for us.”

“Good lord how much sex can you have in a twenty four hour period?” Weis muttered.

Sydney looked slightly offended. “Ignore him.” Vaughn told her. “We’ll come in at some point tomorrow, we promise.”

“Fine.” Eric grunted. “I’ll keep reminding Kendall of that so he’s really pissed off by the time you get there.”

Vaughn rolled his eyes at his friend. “Ready?” He asked Sydney. She nodded. “See ya Eric.”

“Yeah, yeah...”

~*~

“So now what are we going to do?” Vaughn smiled as they walked back into Sydney’s house.

She smiled. “You have to ask that question?”

“Oh.” He laughed. “How could I have forgotten?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I’ll just have to remind you.”



Chapter 63

“Morning.” Vaughn sighed when he saw Sydney’s eyes flutter open.

“Hey.” She sighed back. “What time is it?”

“Little after seven.” He told her.

“Mmmm sleep.” She sighed as she snuggled closer to him.

“Okay.” He sighed as he put his arms around her.

“You know what?” She asked.

“Hmm?”

“Waking up beside you is the best thing ever.” She sighed.

He laughed softly. “That’s good to hear because I couldn’t agree more.”

An hour and a half later Sydney and Vaughn managed to drag themselves from their comfy position in bed. Vaughn showered first and then made breakfast while Sydney was showering.

“Oh my god where did you get all this?” She laughed as she grabbed a piece of bacon from a plate on the counter.

“Ran to the store.” He shrugged.

“You can cook. That’s soo good.” She smiled.

“Yes.” He laughed. “So... after we eat you want to run into work?”

“Do we hafta?” She mumbled.

“Yes we hafta.” He told her. “It will be quick I promise.”

“What if Kendall arrests us?” She asked.

“Then... I don’t know.” He laughed

Half an hour later they were walking hand in hand into the office when they were met by a very angry bald head. “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU TWO BEEN!!!” Kendall demanded. “You haven’t answered pages or calls!!!”

“We were dealing with some personal issues.” Sydney told him.

“Personal issues?” He asked. “Would you care to enlighten me as to what exactly they were?”

“No, they’re personal.” She told him. Vaughn had to fight to keep a straight face.

Kendall practically growled with anger. “Desks both of you. Forever.”

“Oh that’s such an empty threat.” Sydney sighed. Kendall just fumed and walked away.

“You’re so mean to him.” Vaughn laughed quietly.

“Yeah but he deserves it.” She sighed, leaning her head against his arm.

“Guys, no PDA’s in the office please.” Weiss groaned from behind them.

“Really? Does it bother you?” Vaughn smirked as he leaned over and nipped at Sydney’s ear. She giggled and batted him away.

“Vaughn stop.”

“That’s disgusting.” Weiss said as he sulked away.

“He’s just bitter because he’s alone.” Vaughn told Sydney.

“I thought he wanted to be a bachelor for life?”

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean he wants to be celibate.” Vaughn said. Sydney laughed.

“Oh no...” She sighed. “There’s my dad... he’s not going to like this.”

“No, it’s ok. He already gave me permission to date you.” Vaughn smiled.

“What?” Sydney gasped.

“Yeah, back in March. I accidentally told him that I loved you and he said that I was much better than that Will character – his words not mine.” Vaughn said.

“Well that’s good... actually, I don’t think that’s ever happened before.” Sydney sighed.

“I know, he told me that too.” Vaughn smiled.

“What else did he tell you?” She asked.

“Nothing just that.” He smiled.

“Uh huh.” She smiled.

“So how about you and me try to get out of here in a few hours and maybe make a few trips with my stuff to your place?”

“Sounds good to me... although, I should warn my dad that you’re moving in.” She said.

“Oh no, he’s not going to like me as much than is he?”

“Let’s find out.” She smiled. Vaughn groaned as she dragged him along behind him. “Dad, I have something to tell you.”

“What’s that?” Jack asked.

“Vaughn’s moving in with me.” She told him. Vaughn watched with a rather ‘deer in the headlights’ expression as Jack looked from him to his daughter then back to him and then back to his daughter. Jack simply nodded in approval and walked away. “Wow.... he really likes you.” She sighed. “When I told him I was moving in with Danny he pulled out a gun.”

“Good to know.” Vaughn gulped.

“I’m kidding.” She smiled. Vaughn rolled his eyes at her. “But he wasn’t happy at all.”

“Yeah I wouldn’t have been either – oh wait, I wasn’t.” He smiled. She just laughed and gave him a hug.

~*~

For the next few weeks everything with Sydney and Vaughn was absolutely perfect. Vaughn moved all his things into Sydney’s place and sold is apartment. That was the best thing he had ever done. He loved living with Sydney. It was amazing. He loved her even more with each passing day. He found the way she brushed her teeth adorable. He loved the way she folded her pajamas and put them neatly underneath her pillow for the next night. Most of all, he loved the way that she loved him.

Sydney loved the smell of Vaughn’s aftershave on her pillow. She loved the way his clothes hung next to hers in the closet. She even loved some of his hideous hockey memorabilia that sat next to her own knick knacks in the family room. Mostly, she loved just being domestic with him.

The second week in September on a Sunday after they had both returned from a mission and were sleeping late out of pure exhaustion, Vaughn awoke to hear Sydney crying softly into her pillow. Immediately he rolled over and hugged her. “What’s wrong baby?” He asked softly.

“Sorry.” She sniffed. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“It’s alright, you didn’t. What is it?”

“It’s nothing.” She shook her head.

“If its making you cry it’s not nothing.” He told her. “Please tell me.”

“You don’t want to know.” She sighed.

“Sydney...”

“Okay.” She sighed. “Well it’s just... this week is the anniversary of my mom’s death...”

“Oh.” He sighed. “Which one?”

“Both actually. They were only three days apart.” She sighed. “Sorry we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Syd it’s ok. We can talk about it if you want. I’ll listen I promise.” He told her.

“Vaughn, I know you’re amazing and all but I know you don’t want to talk about her.”

Vaughn sighed. “That’s true... but I do want to hear what you have to say. Please.”

Sydney sighed and turned over on her side to face him. “I never told anyone about it – her second death that is. Barnett always tries to get me to talk about it... but I always refuse.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” He asked quietly.

She nodded her head slowly. “She... she was in CIA custody for months. Kendall kept making me meet with her but I never wanted to. I just hated her. I hated her for coming back. I hated her for trying to be nice. I hated her for telling me that she loved me because I knew it was a lie. Her intel was good... one time Kendall said we could use her as bait for Sloane. So my dad and I went with her... she and Sloane were trying to escape. They gave us orders to take them out...” She managed with a choked sob.

“I couldn’t do it.” She whispered. “I couldn’t kill my mother... but my father... he fired a shot. He said he was aiming for Sloane but he hit her. Sloane escaped and by the time we got to her she was bleeding too badly. I just sat there and watched her die.” She sobbed.

“Oh Syd...” He sighed as he pulled her close to him.

“I mean... I hated her.... but she was still my mother.” She sobbed.

“I know.” Vaughn sighed as he stroked her hair.



Chapter 64

Two weeks later was the first of October; the two year anniversary of Sydney and Vaughn’s meeting. Vaughn had big plans. He was going to take her out to dinner, bring her home and into their rose pedal covered bedroom and propose. He didn’t care that they had only technically been together for a month an a half. He knew they were forever.

He was very thankful that Sydney wasn’t at all suspicious during their dinner. It wasn’t until they got home and he raced in ahead of her that she became curious. “Wait Syd...” He called.

“Vaughn what are you doing?” She asked as she slowly walked back to their bedroom.

“Wait two more seconds.” He said.

“Why are you being so – oh my god...” She sighed when she caught him throwing rose pedals everywhere.

“Aww I said wait.” He sighed, tossing the remainder of the pedals into a pile at his feet.

“Oh Vaughn this is perfect!” She smiled broadly. “But you didn’t have to. Dinner was enough- what are you doing?” She asked as he got down on bended knee in front of her.

“Sydney...”

“Oh my god Vaughn....” She sighed quietly.

“Sydney it was two years ago today that I met you. Two years ago today I feel in love with you. I know that we’ve only been technically together for a month and a half but that doesn’t matter. If this life has taught me one thing it’s this: life is precious. Thing’s change in an instant. Just one second and everything you had or thought you had could be gone. And I don’t want to waste any moments without you. We don’t have to get married right away; we can wait as long as you need. I just... I want to be with you forever. I know that’s just as true now as it will be thirty years from now. So.... will you marry me?”

“Vaughn I...” She hesitated, but only for a second before the biggest, most beautiful Sydney-smile Vaughn had ever seen bloomed across her face. “Yes.”

He stood quickly and pulled her into a hug, picking her up off the ground and spinning her around as she laughed and kissed him. “You’re insane you know that?” She told him.

“Why?”

“Because you want me.” She sighed.

“No, that makes me lucky.” He grinned.

“Wait, oh god, did you ask my dad first? Because he’ll freak out if-“

“Relax.” Vaughn said slowly. “Of course I asked him.”

“What’d he say?” She asked.

“Roughly summarized he said take care of her or I’ll kill you.” Vaughn smiled.

She laughed. “Sounds about right.”

“Oh wait, hold on.” He said as he fumbled in his pocket for the black velvet box he was storing there. He pulled it out and opened it for her.

“Vaughn it’s gorgeous.” She sighed.

“It was my grandmother’s – my mom’s mother. My mom gave it to me the last time I visited her.” Vaughn smiled as he slid the ring on her finger.

“It’s perfect, I love it.” She sighed. “Oh... did your mom know it was for me?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Does she know about...?”

“Yes.” He nodded again. “She gave me this ring after I told her about everything.”

“But why?” Sydney sighed as she sat back on the bed.

“Because she knows that I love you and she loves you too.” He told her.

Sydney shook her head. “She hardly knows me.”

“Yes but she loves what she knows. Remember last thanksgiving?” he asked. She nodded. “The second you left she told me that I had to marry you immediately.”

Sydney laughed. “No she didn’t.”

“She absolutely did. You can ask her yourself the next time she comes.” He smiled.

“Oh this is perfect.” She sighed.

“What?”

“Everything.” She smiled as she kissed him and pulled him down onto the bed with her.

~*~

Later, Sydney got out of bed and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. When she came back she went to the drawer in the bathroom to retrieve her birth control pills when her heart sank and she nearly dropped the glass she was holding. “Oh s***... oh s*** oh s***...” She repeated.

“What?” Vaughn asked as he propped himself up on his elbow. He watched her count the missing spots in the package and then swear once more. “What is it?”

“I skipped one.” She sighed. “Oh s***... it was that night I fell asleep on the couch... I forgot to take it... s***!”

“Syd calm down, its ok.” He told her.

“But I could be pregnant... skipping one makes them ineffective.”

“I know. It’s ok.” He repeated.

“Vaughn I could be pregnant.”

“Yes, I know that.” He said.

“You mean... you want to have a baby with me?”

“Are you kidding me?” He laughed. She smiled softly. “Come here Sydney.” He said softly. She walked over and sat down on the bed beside him. “Remember on the submarine? When we were talking about the future and stuff. Sydney you’re going to be a great mother.”

“No.” She shook her head.

“Yes, you are.” He told her firmly.

“Well, even if I’m not I’d still love to have a baby with you. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re going to be a fantastic father.” She smiled. “I just... I’d hoped that we were married first.” She looked down.

“Well at least we’re engaged right?” He smiled.

“Yeah for like three hours!” She laughed.

“Yeah... besides you might not even be pregnant right?” He smiled.

“Yeah, you’re right.” She smiled.

~*~

Even though she tried not to think about it, Sydney could do nothing but think about it for three weeks. Almost every hour the ‘oh my god I’m pregnant’ thought flashed across her mind. Finally, when she was a week late, she decided that she had to make a doctors appointment to be sure. It could have been just stress or paranoia, still she had to know.

Since Sydney flat out refused to let Vaughn come with her to the appointment, he went to the skating rink with Weiss for the afternoon, to help occupy his mind.

“So how’s things with you and Sydney going anyway?” Weiss asked.

“Eric, we’re engaged.” Vaughn sighed, shaking his head at his friend’s stupidity.

“Yeah I know that genius. I meant... well Syd’s at a doctor’s appointment so I was wondering if you like, knocked her up or something.” Weiss said. Vaughn kept his mouth shut tightly. “YOU DIDN’T!” He gasped.

“Well... she thinks she might be but I don’t think she is.” Vaughn said.

“Why not? How the hell would you know?”

“Well...I just don’t. I think it’s because a few weeks ago she thought she might be and now she’s completely paranoid about it.”

“Ohh I see.” Eric sighed. “So what if she is?”

Vaughn shrugged. “Have a baby... get married...”

“You’re really serious about her, are you?”

“Um, not to sound twelve but, duh?” He retorted. Eric rolled his eyes. “But yes I am serious about her. She’s going to be my wife and we’re going to be together forever. I love her.”

“I know ya do. I was just checking.” Eric smiled.

~*~

When Vaughn got home, Sydney’s car was in the driveway. His heart rate increased a bit as he walked into the house and called her name. She didn’t answer. He walked back to their bedroom and heard the shower running. “Syd I’m home.” He called as he poked his head into the steamy bathroom. Still, she didn’t answer but he knew that she had heard him. “Syd?” He asked again, walking into the bathroom. She didn’t answer. He poked his head in the back of the shower curtain and found her sitting on the floor of the shower, knees tucked up to her chest, just letting the hot water run over her. “Syd?” He asked once more and then she looked up at him. His heart broke when he saw her eyes. He hadn’t seen her look that way since the first time he met her when she was being tortured by Yelena.

For a moment he debated whether he should get her out of the shower or get in the shower with her. Judging by the way her finger tips were shriveled he suspected she had been in there for quite some time so he turned off the shower water, grabbed a towel and helped her out of the tub. “Syd? What happened? Are you pregnant?”

“No.” She said very quietly.

“Then what is it?”

“The doctor said I can never get pregnant. Not ever.”



Chapter 65

Vaughn’s heart broke again and he was sure that he had heard her wrong. “What?”

“They said... they said I can never have a baby.” She sobbed.

“Oh god Sydney.” He sighed as he pulled her close to him, his hand holding onto her wet hair. They held each other that way for a few minutes before Sydney slowly began to dress in her favorite PJs: the King’s pants she had ‘borrowed’ from Vaughn and her favorite tank top. She and Vaughn crawled under the covers of their bed and Vaughn held her tightly.

“The doctors... the first thing they asked was if I had any trauma to my abdomen... like a car accident.” She said with a slightly bitter laugh. “I didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to answer that so I just gave them a noncommittal ‘maybe’. They said that there is very dense scar tissue around my uterus and ... I don’t know.” She sighed. “He said that because of this it was apparently causing stress or something so eggs weren’t being released properly. I’m not sure, I could hardly hear what he was saying. The bottom line is... it would be nearly impossible for me to get pregnant and carry a baby to term.”

“Oh Sydney...” Vaughn sighed. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“I never... I never even thought it was something I wanted until now that I can’t have it.” She sobbed. “I’m sorry Vaughn. I’m sorry I can’t give you a baby.”

“Syd, it’s ok.” He told her.

“No... no its not.” She sobbed. “I wanted to have your baby Vaughn, I did, I really did. But now... everything’s different.”

“That’s not true.” He told her. “I still love you just the same.”

“But I can’t give you a baby!” She shouted.

“So? That’s not everything. Besides, I’m not giving up hope. The doctor said nearly impossible not impossible... and there’s always adoption if we still want children.” He told her.

She looked up at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He said as he stroked her face. “Nothing could stop me from loving you Sydney, absolutely nothing.”

She whimpered slightly as she leaned forward and kissed him. “You’re perfect and I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He sighed as he hugged her.

“So.... tomorrow I’m walking into Kendall’s office and I’m quitting for good.” She told him.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yes. I mean.... my god, this has taken enough from me hasn’t it?! I’ve had so many broken bones I’ve lost count, I’ve nearly died a dozen times and now... now I can’t even have children because of it. It’s taken too much and it’s certainly not worth it anymore. I’m done.” She said simply.

“Okay.” He sighed. “Then I’m done too.”

“Vaughn...”

“No, I’m serious. You’re right. It’s not worth it. Besides, you’re the best partner I ever had. How can I go back to Weiss now?” He smiled. She laughed softly.

“Is it going to be weird? Being normal?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “Everyone else does it daily don’t they?”

“I guess they do.” She sighed.

~*~

“Agent Bristow you’re going to give me an aneurism.” Kendall groaned as he rubbed his temples.

“No, I’m not. I’m done this time. I’m never coming back.” She told him firmly.

“Oh really? What makes this time different?” He asked sounding very angry.

“I have medical reasons why I can no longer be an agent.” She said in a serious tone.

Kendall’s bitter expression turned soft and for a moment he just looked stunned. Then, he looked sympathetic. “Alright Agent Bristow, you will be missed. And you...” He turned to Vaughn who had his arm around Sydney.

“She goes; I go.” He said.

“Very well. Turn in your badges, clean out your desks.” Kendall sighed.

“Whoa, you guys are really quitting?” Weiss asked later as he watched his two friends.

“Yeah.” Sydney sighed.

“That sucks. I though you guys were just kidding around. It’s going to be so boring here without you.” He sighed.

“You’ll make it.” Vaughn smiled.

~*~

By Thanksgiving, Sydney and Vaughn had settled into their ‘regular’ life. Sydney had gone back to teach at UCLA and Vaughn had found a job as a temporary substitute French teacher at a local private high school since, unbeknownst to almost everyone including Sydney, he had minored in secondary education while in college having wanted to be a teacher like his mother. They enjoyed the steady pace of their 8-5 (7-4 in Vaughn’s case) jobs and they were content. They had yet to tell anyone about their somber news regarding a potential baby but both Jack and Amelia were coming to Thanksgiving and Sydney and Vaughn were going to tell them then.

The beginning of the meal was filled with belated congratulations on their engagement from Amelia and a few awkward words from Jack. They ate and discussed current events as well as sharing some amusing CIA stories and fond memories of Vaughn’s father. Finally, when the dessert plates were cleaned up, Sydney and Vaughn decided to break their news, first with some good and then with the bad.

“We decided on when we’re getting married.” Vaughn told everyone.

“Oh when?” Amelia asked excitedly.

“July.” Sydney smiled. “On the beach.” She said as she smiled at Vaughn lovingly. They had discussed it and decided that the Butterfly Inn was a perfect place for their nuptials.

“Oh that’s lovely.” Amelia smiled.

“Sounds perfect.” Jack said.

“There’s one more thing we have to tell you.” Sydney began rather sadly. Vaughn reached across the table and took her hand. She squeezed it as she spoke. “Well... we found out that we- or rather I... I can’t have children.”

“What?” Jack asked.

“We, um...” Sydney began as she brushed a stray tear away. “I found out when I thought I was pregnant... they sent us to a specialist and because of scar tissue that I have.... they said it would be extremely difficult for us to get pregnant.” She sighed. Without saying a word, Amelia got up from her seat, walked over to Sydney and pulled her into a strong, motherly hug.

“Thank you.” Sydney sniffed as she hugged Amelia back.

“Sydney, I am so sorry.” Jack sighed.

“It’s ok Dad... we’re not giving up.” She told him.

“Definitely not.” Vaughn added with a loving look at Sydney.

“That’s good.” Amelia said. “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

~*~

“I like that.” Sydney sighed when she and Vaughn we’re laying in bed that evening.

“What?” He asked.

“What your mom said. ‘If it’s meant to be, it will be.’ kinda like us.” She smiled at him.

“No, exactly like us.” He corrected.



Epilogue

As Sydney cradled her two week old daughter, Madeline Grace Vaughn, she could help but hear her mother-in-law’s words echo in her mind.

If it’s meant to be, it will be.

Sydney believed them whole heartedly. She and Vaughn had started trying for a baby immediately after they got married, not knowing how long exactly it would take them to get pregnant. The doctors basically told them they were waiting their time but Sydney and Vaughn didn’t mind since they were having fun trying (as Vaughn liked to point out at every opportunity). Amazingly, and much to the doctor’s astonishment, it only took Sydney a year to get pregnant.

Her pregnancy was labeled as high risk and she was on bed rest for the last two months which drove her insane and nearly killed her but she made it and she had a beautiful, green eyed baby girl to show for it.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” Sydney smiled at her husband who was admiring Madeline over her shoulder.

“Absolutely.” He sighed as he stroked her tiny head with his thumb. Then he leaned down and kissed it softly. “She’s our little miracle.”

“Yes.” Sydney sighed.

“You get in bed. I’ll put her in her crib.” Vaughn said as he gently took the baby fro her.

“Alright.” Sydney sighed as she shuffled down the hallway towards their bedroom, yawning as she went. As she sat down on her side of the bed, she smiled as she looked at the picture that was taken only moments after Madeline’s birth. Sydney and Vaughn were both smiling down at their extremely pink screaming daughter. They were happy. They were a family. True, Sydney had been fearful of her abilities as a mother and she still had some trepidation about it, but the moment she held that perfect little angel in her arms she knew immediately that motherhood would be the best, most amazing job she’d ever have.

“She went right to sleep.” Vaughn smiled as he walked in the room and got in bed beside her.

“Good. I love you.” Sydney sighed as she kissed him.

“I love you too Syd. But I’m exhausted. Let’s hope she sleeps a little more than three hours tonight, okay?” He asked.

“Poor you.” Sydney sighed.

“It’s ok. I’ll live. She’s worth it.” He smiled.

“You’re right. She is.” Sydney sighed. Laying in her husbands arms, she wondered how she could have ever been so stupid to think that love could be considered an ‘uncertainty’ in her life. She wanted something stable, something true, something she could count on and she knew for sure that her love for Vaughn, his love for her and the love they now shared for their daughter was exactly that.

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