Running


Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side


In my life, there are many things to be afraid of. Every day I conquer new horrifying things and every day I find new things to fear. But there is one thing that I fear above all else and now that fear has been realized. Dread, uncertainty, terror, sadness... I feel all those things. I’m feeling so much right now that I’m not even sure I’m feeling at all.

I can’t sit so I get up and begin to pace. I walk the trail between the two chain link fences over and over again. It’s only about fifteen feet but I just keep going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...

Maybe if I walk it enough times then time will stop. All I want is just one moment. I need to catch my breath. I hear him coming. In his footsteps I find a little hope that maybe; just maybe things will be alright.

He slides open the door and I can’t help myself. I throw my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder as the first tears begin to fall. “Shhh, it’s ok,” he tells me. I know he’s confused; he doesn’t know what’s wrong. All I said in the message I left was that I needed to see him because it was urgent, nothing more. I want to tell him but I can’t speak; not yet anyway. I just want him to hold me for one more minute. I want to feel safe in his arms for just a little bit longer.

“Syd, what happened?” he asks me. I reluctantly slide out of his comforting embrace, wipe my cheeks and look up into the green eyes that I love.

“Sloane.” I choke out. “He... he knows.”

“Knows what?” Vaughn asks. “That you’re a double?”

Thank god he said it because I don’t think I could have. I just nod and sniffle some more.

“Oh god Syd...,” he sighs. I can hear the fear and uncertainty in his voice as well. “Ok, ok,” he sighs, rubbing his forehead that now has those wrinkles that I adore. “Tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know.” I sob. “I really don’t... my dad just came up to me and told me to run. He said that Sloane knows and I have to leave before he gets to me. I asked if Sloane knew about him as well but he said that Sloane didn’t. So my Dad’s safe... god I just... I thought it was because of our date in Nice and I thought... I though what if he... you like...Da-“ I can’t finish. My sobs are choking me too hard. If I lost Vaughn I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t know if I could survive without him.

“Syd, its ok.” Vaughn assures me as he rubs my arms lovingly. I could so easily just collapse into his embrace right now. “Sloane doesn’t know about Nice does he?”

I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so because, I mean, my dad hasn’t said anything so...”

“Okay,” he says calmly even though I can see in his eyes that he’s frantic. “Ok we need... we need to get you safe. Witness protection.”

“No.” I say firmly.

“But Syd...,” he protests.

“No, I don’t want to live another life Vaughn. I don’t want to take on another identity. I won’t,” I say. I know I sound like as stubborn four year old but I don’t care.

“You’re going to run?” he asks.

I nod. I don’t want to leave anyone. Not Will or Francie.... not my father... not Vaughn... but as I see it, I don’t have much of a choice. “I... I don’t know where to go,” I say. It’s the truth. That’s why I called him; I have no idea.

“Okay.... there is a cabin I know of we can go-“

“We?” I interrupt him. He can’t mean that.

Vaughn nods. “If you run Syd, I run with you.”

“No, Vaughn.” I protest. Yes, I want him to come but I don’t want him to give up his life just for me.

“I’m coming Syd. You can’t run alone.”

“Yes I can.” I protest again.

“Ok, you can. But I won’t let you.” He tells me. I look in his eyes and I can’t believe what I see. I see truth. I see... love.

“Vaughn... you...,” I begin but I can’t protest anymore. I just nod. “Thank you.”

He smiles. “Don’t mention it,” he says as he walks over to the small table in the warehouse and takes out his cell phone and puts it down.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“A satellite could track us using that,” he says. I nod, knowing he’s right, and I put my phone down next to his.

“Vaughn, are you sure? I mean... you’ve got your job... your mom... your whole life... I...,” I sigh as I look down at my feet, knowing what he’s giving up just for me.

He takes his hand and glides it under my chin, tilting my head up so that I can look at him. “I’m sure,” he says. “When they find this stuff... they’ll know we’ve gone.”

“Okay.” I nod as a tear escapes from my eye. “Where are we going?”

“Canada,” he says. Then he begins to pat his pockets down. “My phone...”

“You just put it on the table.” I laugh. He gets an embarrassed look on his face and picks it up to dial. Once he arranges us a flight and transportation for when we’re in Canada, he puts the phone back next to mine.

“Do you have a bag in your car?” he asks. I nod. “Okay, you ready?”

“Do I have a choice?” I ask rhetorically. He just looks at me sympathetically before we walk out of the warehouse. I grab my bag, put it in his car, and we drive off to the airport together. It’s strange because I’ve never been able to be in public with him like this... it’s strange, but good.


Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most


As we get on the private jet my hands begin to tremble and I get butterflies in my stomach. Vaughn grabs my hand and squeezes it reassuringly. I give him a small smile as he tells me that everything will be ok. I want to believe him, I do, it’s just....

I’ve tired to hold it in as long as I can, but as the plane takes off I begin to sob. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Vaughn asks softly with concern.

“I just... I’m so scared.” I sob. I’ve never really said that out loud before, at least not in my adult life. I’ve always seen that as being a weakness I never want to admit to but with him, yeah I’ll say it. I want him to know everything about me because he already does, almost. “I’m scared of the Alliance... what if they find us and... and...”

“Shh Syd, it’s ok. You don’t have to be afraid, not while I’m here. I won’t let anything happen,” he says in a soothing voice as he holds my hand. I try to smile and I’m sure that I look like a dork because of my running make up but honestly, I’m too tired to care.

“Why are you doing this Vaughn?” I ask quietly.

“I’d do anything for you.” He smiles. This time, I know I’m smiling back. Tell me that you love me. That’s what I want to say; but I won’t. “Why don’t you try to sleep? We’ll be flying a few hours.” He tells me.

I nod wearily and slide down in my seat so that my head is resting comfortably on his shoulder and my body lined up against his. “Is it ok if I sleep like this?” I ask quietly. My eyes are becoming immediately heavy at the warmth of his body and they linger closed as I blink.

“Sure.” He sighs. Then I remember no more as I drift off to sleep.


Be
Be the one i need
Be the one i trust most


“Syd,” he says. I mumble something. “Syd,” he says again, this time nudging me slightly. “We landed.”

“Okay.” I mumble. I open my eyes and it takes a few moments for the sleep to disappear. Now I’m fully alert and grabbing my small bag as we walk down the steps and down onto the tarmac. I shiver; the air is cool. “Where are we?”

“Ontario,” he says. “We’ve still got a few hour drive until we reach the cabin though.” He tells me as he opens the passenger side of the black SUV parked a few feet from the plane. I slide in and watch as he walks around and puts our bags in the back of the car. Then he gets into the drivers side, turns the key and the engine revs to life.

The second he begins to drive away, I blush as I remember the dream I was just having. I look out the passenger window and hope he doesn’t see the crimson color of my cheeks. I was dreaming about him. Ok, I admit it, this wasn’t a very ‘G’ rated dream. It’s certainly not the first time I’ve dreamt of him that way. Usually I wake up moaning... oh god, did I moan? Did he hear me? Oh god... oh god... I shut my eyes and hope this mortal embarrassment passes soon.


I'm so sorry that i'm falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love


I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep but when I wake the sun is beginning to rise and I can see trees whizzing past the windows. I yawn as I look over at Vaughn. “Morning sleepyhead.” He grins.

“Hey... how long was I asleep?” I ask. My voice is slightly scratchy and I try to clear my throat.

“About two hours. We should be there in about ten minutes now,” he says. I look out the window and through the thick trees I catch a glimpse of what appears to be water sparkling as the sun rises.

“Is this a lake?” I ask.

“Yep.” He smiles. “I used to come here when I was a kid. My family owns this cabin.”

“Oh.” I nod. “That sounds nice.” A few minutes later I see driveways begin to appear sporadically in among the trees. Vaughn turns into one on the right and follows a narrow path through tall trees that’s rather bumpy. Finally I catch a glimpse of the house and gasp. “Oh it’s gorgeous.” I sigh.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” He smiles. I turn back to the house and admire it as we drive up to the garage. It’s two and a half stories with pale green siding that looks wonderful against the raw wood trim of the windows. I can see decks around the back as well as a dock that leads out onto the lake. Vaughn parks the car and I slide out as I stare up at the house still.

“This place is amazing.” I tell him.

“Yeah,” he smiles. “Wait till you see the inside.” I reach for my bag but he takes it and says that he’s got it. I smile at his chivalry and follow him up to the front of the house where he unlocks the door and let’s us inside. He was right; the inside is even more impressive. Exposed beams line the ceiling and beautiful hard wood lines the floors. It’s rustic yet homey and nice. It’s perfect. “Try not to drool Syd.” He winks. I laugh slightly as I realize my mouth is hanging agape as I take in the new surroundings.

“Sorry.” I mumble as I look over at him. He looks weary. “Vaughn you’ve been driving all night. Go take a nap.”

“You sure?” he asks. I nod and tell him I plan on exploring the house. He laughs and then trudges slowly up the stairs, bag over his shoulder. I begin the tour of the house on this floor. There is a kitchen, a sitting area with a two story vaulted ceiling, and a game room with a large pool table in it. Then I make my way up to the next floor where I find a large master suit and another sitting room. The master suit has a large bed with a white lace canopy and a matching white lace bedspread. There are also two French doors that lead out to a beautiful balcony looking out across the lake. I notice that Vaughn isn’t in this bed and I’m curious as to why.

I begin up the second flight of stairs and hear the soft sound of heavy breathing when I reach the landing. To my left there is a room that looks very much like that of an eight year old boy. Met’s pinups are on the wall as well as hockey jerseys and hockey pucks. I see Vaughn sprawled out on the bed with his head on a tiny pillow resembling a hockey puck. He looks absolutely adorable. I walk in the room, pick up a blanket from the floor and drape it over him since it is a little chilly in that room. I smile as I tuck the blanket around him. “I love you.” I whisper and then I bite my lip. I don’t know why I just said that but I did and it wasn’t scary at all.

My love for Vaughn is different than any other love I’ve felt before. It’s the strongest and truest thing I’ve ever known and the amazing thing is we’ve never even shared so much as a kiss. It was also one of those things that just hits you one day out of nowhere and runs you over like a truck. For me, it was the day he got sick from that big red Rambaldi ball we found in Taipai.

When I heard how sick he was it just hit me. Like maybe he wouldn’t be there tomorrow and then the next day. What would I do? I had no idea. I became frantic and when I went to the hospital to take his blood that was the moment I knew. I was just in awe almost. Like my god I love him what am I going to do? I can’t loose him but I can’t be with him even if he’s here. I wasn’t sure how long I had loved Michael Vaughn but I knew that I loved him deeply. I also found heartache from that love immediately when I saw his Alice, his girlfriend.

Oh god, Alice.

I just thought of her. Is he still with her? I mean he’s here with me but... Suddenly I realize I’ve been standing here watching Vaughn sleep for over five minutes. Quickly I walk from the room and down two flights of stairs to the kitchen knowing that once Vaughn wakes I’ll have to ask him about Alice, something I’m not looking forward to at all.

Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going

A few hours later Vaughn comes down. I’m sitting on the couch, sipping some tea that I found in the kitchen, staring out at the soft ripples on the lake water. He flops down next to me without a word. “Vaughn, are you still with Alice?” I ask.

“What?” He gasps. I turn to look at him with a serious expression. “No, we broke up a few weeks ago, why?”

“Well I was just thinking she’d be pretty curious as to where you went.” I mumble into my mug of tea.

“Oh.” He sighs. “Yeah... no...”

“Was that bedroom the one you used as a child?” I ask. He looks at me curiously. “I told you I was going to explore the house.” I smile.

“Oh,” he laughs slightly. “Yeah it was... the master bedroom was always used by my parents. I guess I just didn’t think to go there.” He pauses for a few minutes before continuing. “We didn’t really come up here after my dad died.”

I avert my eyes to the window knowing that that is a sensitive subject between us. “Oh.” I sigh quietly. We sit in silence for a few moments. “This lake is really beautiful,” I say finally.

“Yeah it’s really peaceful here, that’s why I like it,” he says.

“Yeah,” I say. Suddenly we’ve fallen into awkwardness. Oh no, was this a mistake? We didn’t think this through. What happens now? Do Vaughn and I just stay together? And what about us? Surely we cannot be platonic forever. I know he doesn’t want it that way, or at least I hope so because I definitely don’t want it that way. But now, everything’s so complex.

Suddenly Vaughn gets up and walks to the kitchen; I watch him go. “So I wonder if there’s any food here. That could be a problem.” He laughs nervously. After checking the shelves he finds the same thing I did; nothing. “So this is a problem. I guess I’ll run to the local store. Is there anything you need?”

I give Vaughn a list of a few items before he leaves. Then, I walk outside and make my way out to the dock. The air is cool and I begin to shiver. Suddenly, I wish I had a jacket. Unfortunately there isn’t much call for winter clothing in Los Angeles. I lean back against the railing of the dock and listen to the mesmerizing sound of the water lapping up against the wood.

I must have stood there for much longer than I realized because I suddenly feel a gentle hand on my shoulder and practically jump out of my skin. It’s Vaughn; he’s brought groceries. I go to follow him in the house but when I turn around I stop when I catch my first glimpse of the back side of the house. It’s even more stunning than the front with its many windows, balconies and glass doors.

Once inside, I begin to examine the groceries he’s purchased. He didn’t buy much, only enough for a few days. I wonder if that’s because he didn’t want to stock up or because he only thinks we’ll be here for a few days.

“You wanna help me make something?” he smiles. His tone would suggest that he finds cooking fun. I, however, do not.

“Umm, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be much help.” I cringe. “I really can’t cook.”

“You can’t cook?” he asks.

“Well I can microwave a potato and heat up a can of soup but that’s about the extent of it.” I say. Then I laugh at how pathetic I am. Seriously, when I say it out loud like that, it’s just plain sad. Vaughn laughs and promises to help me so I reluctantly agree, after all this could be fun right?

I'm so sorry that I’m falling
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running

Ok, it was sort of fun making dinner with Vaughn. Especially when he accidentally on purpose hit me in the face with a spoon causing sauce to cover my nose and cheek. Then, I accidentally on purpose stepped on his foot. Yeah, that was fun.

Now that dinner is cleaned up and the plates have been washed Vaughn started a fire and we’re sitting on the couch staring at each other, neither of us brave enough to speak. “How about we play a game?” Vaughn suggests finally.

“A game?” I ask. Is he, like, kidding? He nods. Ok, not kidding. “Like what? Strip poker?” HOLY CRAP WHY DID I SAY THAT?! Oh my god take it back! Take it back! I laugh nervously, trying to pretend it was a joke. I suck.

“No.” He laughs. “I think in order to play that you need a lot of tequila.” I smile and laugh slightly. So true. “I was thinking more like some card game where you keep your clothes on or something. Let’s see what we have,” he says as he walks over to a cabinet near the fireplace. When he opens it I can see a few stacks of games sitting on a shelf so I get up off the couch and walk over to examine it.

“Candyland?” I ask with a small chuckle.

“Yeah it’s been a while since I’ve been here.”

“Clearly.”

Vaughn smiles evilly as he pulls out a box and holds it up.

“Twister?” I laugh.

“What’s the matter? Afraid I’ll beat you.”

“No, I’m afraid you’ll hurt yourself.” I giggle.

“Haha very funny,” he says as he sets the box down and pulls out the sheet with all the colored circles on it. Once it’s on the floor he picks up the spinner and spins it. “Right foot red.” He tells me.

“You’re serious?” I ask. He nods. I sigh and stick my right foot on a red plastic circle. “Gimmie,” I say as I hold out my hand for the spinner. He hands it to me and I spin. “Right hand green.” I smile. Vaughn crouches down on the floor and smacks his right hand down on a green circle. “You’re going down missy,” he adds with a grin.

Ten minutes later Vaughn and I are tangled up in our own limbs and each others and laughing hysterically. “Ok, ok.” He laughs. “Right foot yellow Syd. How are ya gonna do that one?”

I think for a moment as I shift all my weight off my right foot. Then I lift it cautiously over one of his arms and slide it all the way to the yellow circle. Ok, this is a problem. I’m practically doing a full split and supporting myself on just my hands. There is no way I can hold this position for long.

Seeing my arms begin to tremble Vaughn smiles. “How about we make a little bet?”

“Oh yeah now you tell me.” I roll my eyes and wrinkle my nose, trying to make the itch that has just appeared go away.

“What are you doing?” He asks with a laugh.

“I have an itch.” I whine as I try to blow my hair away but I just end up making a very loud, elephant like noise and causing Vaughn to laugh harder.

“Ok well how about the winner gets a back massage.” He suggests.

“I can live with that.” I say. “I have a feeling I’m gonna need it after this.”

“Right, like you’ll win.” He scoffs.

“Mmhmm.” I grin. I use the tip of my toe to spin the spinner since that is the only thing I can get free at the moment. “Right hand blue Mr. Vaughn.” I grin, noting the difficulty of that move. Vaughn grunts and groans for a few moments before finally making his hand to a blue circle. The only problem is now he’s practically hugging me and my face is crammed into his neck. Yeah, this is gonna work real well.

“Left hand green.” He tells me. Luckily that’s an easy move and I slide my hand over one circle.

“Right hand green.” I say to him. Vaughn tries very hard but he is quite unsuccessful. Instead of placing his right hand onto the green circle he loses his balance, falls and takes me down with him. Suddenly, I’m sprawled on top of Vaughn, both of us laughing loudly and trying to stretch out our damaged limbs. The laughing calms down as our faces draw nearer to each other. For an instant our eyes grow heavy and almost full of desire, our lips draw closer and closer and I’m sure that he’s going to kiss me. But at the last minute he backs off and sits up properly. We both sit in an awkward silence, knowing what was almost about to happen until Vaughn says. “Ok how about that back rub?”

“You don’t have to.” I sigh. Honestly I’d trade the kiss for the backrub.

“I want to. Come on,” he says as he stands up and holds out a hand for me. I take it and he pulls me to my feet. After we fold up the game and put it away I follow him put the stairs. “You can sleep in here,” he says as he stops in front of the master suite.

“Vaughn, this is your parent’s room... I don’t have to.” I sigh.

“It’s ok. Besides it’s really pretty and has a great balcony. I’d be a shame to waste it.” He smiles. I hesitate. “What are ya gonna do sleep in the hockey slash Met’s room?” he teases. I crack a smile and shake my head. “Come on then,” he says as he puts a hand on the small of my back and guides me into the room. “Lay down on your stomach.” He instructs. I look back at him cautiously. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I trust you with my life Vaughn.” I smile. It’s the truth and he knows it so he smiles back. “So do I lay on the edge or in the center?”

“Towards the center,” he says. I crawl up on the bed and lay in the center, face down with my head turned to the side resting on one of my hands. I feel Vaughn climb on the bed. He’s not very graceful and I’m bouncing around a lot while trying not to laugh. He takes my hand on which my head is resting and brings it down to my side. Then I feel him put one knee on either side of me and I can’t stop the laughter.

“What on earth are you doing?”

“Trust me,” he says. Then I feel his hands begin to knead into my back and I can’t stop a moan from escaping my lips. I can hear him chuckle slightly as he continues to work my knotted muscles. He works his way up my spine starting at my hips and traveling all the way to my neck where he brushes some of my hair aside. Within a few minutes I’m convinced that I’m actually melting into the bed sheets because it feels so amazing.

I’m trying to form words but its difficult given the state of relaxation I’m in. “How did you learn how to do that?” I sigh.

“I’ve had lots of practice,” he says.

“Ahh give all the girls massages like this do you?” I tease hoping the answer is no.

“No.” He laughs. “Actually, when I was younger and I did something wrong my punishment was always having to give my mother a back massage.”

“Your mother is a smart woman.” I say, keeping that in mind for a future time when I have children.

“Yes.” He laughs again. “So yeah I got practice.”

“Ah, you were a bad little boy were you?” I say.

“Not exactly. I ended up giving her back rubs every night after my father died. I figured it was the least I could do you know? My mom and I would talk and we grew really close because we were all each other had...,” his voice drifts off and I feel like an ass. All she had was him and now I’ve taken him away. I’m horrible.

“Vaughn...”

“Don’t Syd, it’s ok,” he says. “She’d be happy for me, she would I swear. She’d want me to do this.”

“How do you know?” I ask as he begins to knead his fists into my shoulder blades.

“She always says that I need to be happy because she never thinks I am. Well, that’s probably because I wasn’t... not until I met you anyway,” he says. At this I gasp slightly not only because of his words but because in massaging down my back his fingers brushed the front of my chest (inadvertently I assume). “Sorry did I hurt you?” he asks.

“No,” I say quickly.

“Okay,” he says as he continues massaging. I hear him sigh heavily; he sounds nervous. “You make me happy Syd.”

“You make me happy too.” I say sluggishly. Oh no, I’m getting sleepy. No, no, no, no stay awake! Must stay awake. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear anything else he said.


We're running
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated


I awake with my head smashed into the bed and I’m practically suffocating. I sit up slightly and wipe the corner of my mouth as I look at the clock. It’s only eight thirty. Slowly, I crawl out of bed and stretch my back from sleeping on my stomach. I walk over to the balcony and find Vaughn sitting down on the couch. “Hey.” I say. He looks up and smiles. “Sorry I fell asleep.”

“It’s ok. I take it as a complement,” he says.

“Well yeah but we were talking....”

“It’s ok,” he says.

“You look tired; come to bed.” I say. Oh my god did I just say that? That sounds soooooo much wronger than I meant it to.

He looks curious. “Your bed?”

I don’t respond except to smile, turn and walk out of his sight. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Ok, I think, I just invited him to sleep with me.... but not that way... I mean it’s Vaughn, Vaughn. We haven’t kissed yet... he wouldn’t... would he? Do I want him to? Ok let’s not go down that road...

I turn to see him standing at the top of the stairs looking equally as nervous as me. Thank god. “Are you sure you want me here?”

“Yeah.” I smile as I beg my heart rate to calm down. He can probably hear it; it’s beating so loudly. “I mean it’s a big house and I get creeped out by noises in the night. Nature of the job I suppose.... besides you looked kinda pathetic sleeping in that kid’s bed.” I wink. He laughs and agrees. We have an awkward moment deciding who gets the bathroom first but he insists that I take it first so I do.

I don’t exactly use pajamas. I usually find that whole matching top and bottom thing a little too cutesy for me. Instead, I sleep in pajama bottoms and a tank top all year round no matter what the temperature. Ok, well, if its 110 degrees outside I’m probably not sleeping in the bottoms but, you get the point. I exit the bathroom and find Vaughn neatly folding his shirt on top of his suitcase and smile at how adorable he is. It’s then that I notice he’s still wearing his pants from today as he pulls back the bed covers.

“Vaughn, what are you wearing?” I ask.

“Oh... well I don’t have pajamas... Not with me at least.” He blushes.

“You mean you don’t have LA Kings flannel pjs?” I tease.

“No.” He laughs.

“You can sleep in boxers.” I tell him. He looks at me cautiously but I just smile. He sighs as he unzips his pants and lets them fall to the ground. Oh My God! VAUGHN IN BOXERS! Calm down Sydney, calm down. I take a deep breath and try to stifle a giggle as I turn my back to him while climbing in the bed. When we’re both settled in bed we’re each laying on our edge of the bed, making sure we’re not touching. Yeah, this is slightly awkward.

“Vaughn,” I say quietly once he’s switched off the light.

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this crazy life.” I sigh.

“Don’t be sorry. I’d be really bored without you,” he says. I roll my eyes and am surprised that he can see it in the dim room. “It’s true. I’d be at home with Weiss.” I can’t help but laugh at this. “Syd, you came into my life a little over a year ago and since then I’ve been driving myself crazy worrying about you and your double agent status, thinking about you when you’re on missions, breaking you out of federal custody and chasing you across the globe. Because of that I think I’ve got an ulcer, an incredibly high stress level and I’m convinced I have gray hair but you know what else? I’ve found a new way to smile; a new way to live; a better way to live.”

With his comment my heart flutters. Just when I’m feeling insanely guilty for making him old and gray he nails me with this comment that takes my breath away. “How do you do that?” I breathe.

He props himself up on his elbow and looks down at me. “Do what?”

“Say the most perfect thing that makes me feel so good in a crappy time like this,” I say.

“Being here with me is crappy?”

“NO!” I say quickly. “God no... I mean...”

“I know what you meant.” He smiles.

I smile back. “Lay flat on your back and close your eyes.”

“Why?” he asks suspiciously.

“Don’t you trust me?” I smile angelically.

He sighs and lays flat on his back. “I trust you with my life Syd.”

“Good,” I say as I snuggle closer to him, resting my head on his chest. “Night Vaughn.” I feel his chest vibrate as he laughs slightly and says goodnight to me before we both drift off to sleep.


Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most


The next morning I awake with Vaughn’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. I sigh happily as I slide out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom. When I look at my reflection in the mirror I don’t see the sad, scared girl from yesterday. What I see is the largest grin I’ve ever had reflecting back at me.

I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth. Once I’m finished, I walk back out into the bedroom but Vaughn’s still asleep. From the white lace curtains on the door I see and orange glow of sunlight. I grab a blanket off the top of the bed and quietly step out onto the balcony. The lake was breathtakingly beautiful at sunrise. I place both palms onto the railing and lean over onto the edge of the balcony as the sun reflects off the lake. The water ripples shone orange and yellow in the light breeze. The air smelled fresh and clean with a hint of pine; dramatically different from LA.

I realize then that this place was perfect. It’s calm and serene; perfect for vacations or escapes from your life. Which is exactly what I need - an escape. A permanent escape. Maybe we can stay here forever. I know that we can but I wish we could. It’s perfect.

I hear the door open and close softly behind me but I don’t turn around. Vaughn walks up beside me and places one hand on either side of me as he too leans on the railing. I lean back slightly against his chest as he rests his head against mine. We stand there for a bit, just taking in the moment. Together.

I don’t know how long it’s been but at one point I turn a quarter turn so that now my face is dangerously close to his. He turns his face towards mine and I can feel his breath on my face. Suddenly his hands aren’t on the railing anymore, one is on the small of my back, the other on my hip. I have this moment where I know I’m about to kiss Michael Vaughn. My heart flutters, my breath catches in my chest and I lean in and close my eyes. The instant his lips brush mine I feel this electric surge through my body. There is a twinge in my stomach and I know that I’m not breathing at all.

Our lips break contact and I slowly open my eyes and look up at him. He’s not smiling but his eyes are and so are mine. We’ve waited so long for that and suddenly it’s happened and it’s perfect. I lean back in and so does he. This time our kiss is more passionate. My hands slip up and run through his hair as he snakes his arms around my back, pulling my body up against his. Even though the air is cool and the breeze is ruffling my hair, I’m not cold at all.

We break our kiss once more and smile at each other knowing that our first kiss was absolutely the most perfect one of all.

We just stand there for a few moments, holding each other. His hands are softly rubbing my back and mine are softly running through his hair. Vaughn is the first the first to speak. “Syd.” He whispers.

“Hmm?” I sigh quietly.

“I love you,” he says. My heart jumps and tears come to my eyes immediately.

“I love you too,” I say as a tear falls and Vaughn wipes it away. “Is that why you’re doing this?” I sniff. He nods as he tucks some stray hair from my face.

“Is that ok?” he asks.

“No, Vaughn, it’s not ok that you love me.” I tease him as I sniff back some tears. He smiles and kisses me softly once more. I could definitely get used to this. He bends over and picks me up over his shoulder, carrying me back inside the bedroom. Once inside he tosses me gently down on the bed and I giggle. “What are you doing Mr. Vaughn?”

“I don’t know Miss. Bristow.” He grins. “What would you like me to do?”

“I dunno.” I sigh playfully. He dives on top of me and begins to tickle my waist. I’m trying to wiggle away from him but it doesn’t work because I’m laughing too hard. “Vaughn stop! Stop it!” I beg him but he is relentless. Finally, noticing that I’m out of breath, he stops and lies down on the bed beside me. “Did you have fun?” I say, still giggling slightly.

“Yep.” He grins as he kisses me once more.

“Vaughn.” I stop him as I slide my head away. “What are you doing?”

“Loving you.” He sighs.

I smile. “Ok let me rephrase. What are we doing? I mean... 36 hours ago we were in LA in a warehouse and now we’re in this gorgeous cabin making out and running from the Alliance.”

“Ok first, we’re not making out. We have yet to make out,” he says. “Second, do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?”

“About as long as me.” I grin.

“Oh yeah, how long has that been?”

“Well... I dunno.” I say as I draw circles on the bed. “I don’t know when exactly I wanted to kiss you.... probably the first day I met you, but that’s only because you were so damn gorgeous.” I grin at him. He just laughs and shakes his head. “But I know when I first noticed that I had feelings for you.... when I first knew that I loved you...”

“When?” he asks.

“When you got sick.” I say quietly. He just nods understandingly. “What about you?”

“Well I’ve liked myself for a long time actually....”

“Vaughn!” I say as I shove his chest and he rolls backwards slightly.

“Kidding.” He sighs as he leans forward again and brushes his lips softly against my forehead. This sends the most amazing chills down my spine and I giggle. Oh dear god when was the last time I’ve giggled like this? I’m nuts. “I first started loving you that night at the train station. But I can’t exactly say that I wanted to kiss you from the first moment I saw you... I mean that whole puffy-face-in-need-of-a-dentist thing wasn’t exactly a turn on.” He smirks.

I roll my eyes and cover my face with my hand. “One of my finer moments.”

“All your moments are pretty damn fine to me.” He says. Again, I giggle.

“Alright, alright, but you didn’t answer my question.”

“What was that?” he smiles.

“Vaughn, what are we doing here?”

“Well here, we’re on a bed so I guess we could sleep or maybe... do something else. Here in this cabin we’re hiding from people who are trying to kill you. Here on this earth we’re.... well I don’t know yet.” He smiles. Ok, I hate him, I officially hate him. I groan as I go to slide off the bed but he pulls me back for another kiss. “I don’t know what we’re doing here Syd. I have a feeling I’m just as scared and confused as you are. But I’m dying to see what happens here, because who knows? It might be something amazing,” he says quietly.

“I think it already is.” I smile.


Out of all the people
You wanted me the most


I thought that the sexual tension between Vaughn and myself couldn’t get any stronger after our date in Nice. Boy was I ever wrong. I mean dead wrong. The wrongest of the wrong. Wrongy Wrongerson.

Ugh listen to me, I’m going insane.

Kissing Vaughn was amazing. Making out with Vaughn is amazing but you know, there are only so many things a kiss can do for a girl and living with Mr. Hot and Sexy 24/7 isn’t helping any of this. I mean seriously, yesterday I saw him walking out of the shower in just a towel and I swear to god all my clothes almost fell off right there.

I know that I’m scared to take the next step and so is he but I think that if we don’t do something soon we’re both gonna go nuts. So that leaves us with either talking about it or just doing it. I vote for the later... but then again... ugh! I hate that this is so confusing. I hate Sloane. He sucks.

Vaughn just came back from the grocery store. Now I get to see him again. Him and his sparkling green eyes.... adorable chin dimple... strong shoulders... tight abs.... and ... oh god stop. Stop!

“What’s the matter?” Vaughn asks me.

“What? Nothing. Why?” I say quickly.

“Oh you were just staring at me that’s all.” He shrugs as he sets down the groceries with his strong, muscular arms.... STOP IT!

“No, I wasn’t staring at you I was just staring blankly into space and it happened to be in your direction.” I tell him. Nice save.

“Oh ok.” He laughs.

“Vaughn, how long are we going to stay here?” I ask as I sit down at one of the stools along the island in the kitchen.

“Why? Don’t you like it here?” he asks.

“No! No, I love it here. I want to stay here. That’s why I’m asking.” I say.

“Oh well... I dunno. It’s kinda secluded. I figured we could stay here for a while before someone finds us.”

“I’d like that.” I smile.

“Me too.” He smiles back. “Here come help me with these.”


Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated


“Syd come here.” I hear him calling from the balcony. I walk slowly up the stairs and gasp at what I see. He has filled the entire area with candles. There must be a hundred of them everywhere, all different sizes and shapes too.

“What’s this?” I gaps.

He shrugs and smiles. “Come look,” he says. He pulls me over to him and points out the window at the far end of the two story sitting area. Outside I can see yellow streaks of light traveling across the painted black sky. It’s amazing.

“Wow.” I sigh.

He pulls me closer and presses a kiss into my temple. “I called the heavens and had them put on this show just for you.” He whispers into my ear. Ok, it was a cheesy line but it makes me giggle and the feel of his warm breath on my neck sends chills down my spine. I turn my face up to his and pull him into a searing kiss. I know within one second that this kiss is different than all the others simply because this kiss will lead to so much more. “Syd.” Vaughn sighs as he pulls back. I look at him questioningly. “We shouldn’t.”

“Do you want to?” I smile.

“That’s not the point.”

“Ohh,” I say as I kiss him once more. “What is the point?”

“Who cares.” He sighs as he slides his arm under my thighs, picks me up and carries me the ten feet into the bedroom, our lips never breaking contact. Once he sets me down I feel his finger tips on my stomach underneath my shirt. I pull out of the kiss and lift my arms above my head, letting him pull the shirt off. The second the fabric clears my face our lips are entwined once more.

I unbutton his shirt with record speed and push it off his shoulders. He removes his hands from my hips for a brief second as the shirt drops to the floor and then puts them back once more. His hands travel up higher on my back as he moves his kisses to my jaw and down my neck. I close my eyes and let out a soft moan of pleasure from the touch of his fingers and the feel of his lips and hot breath on the sensitive area near my ear. His hands are now resting on the claps of my bra and his kisses stop. He’s hesitating. My eyes flutter open and make contact with his.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Vaughn.” I say softly.

“Yeah ok.” He grins as he attacks my lips once again. With a simple flick of his hand my bra is unclasped. Ok, I’m impressed. I remove my arms from around his neck and pull the straps off, letting my bra fall to the floor at our feet. He pulls back and looks at me. Suddenly I feel self conscious and I know I’m beginning to blush, though luckily he probably can’t see in the candle light. “You’re so beautiful.” He sighs as he kisses me once again. I sigh a little as my hands slip down to his belt buckle which I undo quickly. He steps out of his pants and kicks them aside. I back up and lay back on the bed with him laying with one of his legs draped over mine but beside me as we continue to kiss.

He pulls back from my lips and smiles at me before starting to kiss my chin then traveling down my neck, between my breasts and all the way down past my belly button and pausing at the waistband of my sweatpants. He hooks his fingers under the waistband of them and my panties and pulls them down and off my body. Then he just looks at me. Normally lying completely naked like this would make me feel uncomfortable or nervous but for some reason the way he’s worshiping me with his eyes make me feel loved and safe. Plus the fact that I’m really preoccupied with the fact that I want him to take his DAMN BOXERS OFF. He must have read my mind because he takes his off in one swift motion and crawls up to lay beside me.

In those moments, we forget about the world. We forget that people are after us and trying to kill me. We forget about the circumstances of our life that kept us apart for so long. We forget that there is anyone else in existence besides the two of us and we become lost in the love that we share.


Don't stop inspiring me
Don't make me want to give up


Ok, Folgers coffee is wrong, the best way of waking up is looking into Michael Vaughn’s emerald eyes. The second my eyes flutter open I see him staring at me and I can’t help but smile. “Good morning.” He sighs. I snuggle closer to him and rest my head on his chest. This is a good morning. Best morning I’ve ever had in fact considering a) I’m waking up in Michael Vaughn’s arms; b) I fell asleep in Vaughn’s arms after a night of the best sex I’ve ever had – yes it’s true. Michael Vaughn rocks my world on so many levels.

Suddenly I have this flash of the future where I’m waking up with Vaughn every morning in a bedroom just like this one. I’m content for one second before fear and panic sets in due to the uncertainty of our situation. I tense and he notices. “Syd? What’s wrong?” he asks.

I sigh as I sit up and rest my elbows on my knees, pulling the sheet tight around my body. “I don’t know.” I sigh. “This is all just happening so fast and... and.... I don’t know.” I sigh. God I sound stupid, what is wrong with me.

“Maybe.... maybe last night was a mistake,” he says sadly. My heart breaks.

“No, Vaughn, no it wasn’t,” I say as I turn to face him. “I don’t think it was, do you?”

“No.” he smiles.

“I guess...” I sigh as I comb through my hair with my fingers. “I just I really love you... you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, the best lover I’ve ever had... I can’t lose you; I don’t want to lose you.” Wait, did I just say he’s the best lover I’ve ever had? Damn it I hate myself. It’s true but, I didn’t want him to know that. Crap, can you die of embarrassment?

“Syd,” he says softly as he pulls me closer to him. “You’re never going to lose me.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he says as he kisses my neck and collarbone softly. “So am I really the best lover you’ve ever had?”

“Vaughn.” I giggle as I turn red immediately.

“Hey you said it I’m just wondering.” He grins. I look away, refusing to answer. Though, I don’t think I could answer even if I wanted to. “Come on.” He says as he slips his arms around my waist and squeezes gently. “Top 10?”

“Ten! Who do you think I am Vaughn? The company whore?” I say. Ten people... jeez.

He laughs. “Ok, ok. Good to know you haven’t been with that many. So... top five?” He suggests.

This time I laugh at his facial expression. “Close,” I say. “Four.”

“I see,” he says. I elbow him trying to get him to confess his number. “Oh right me... well I hate to tell you Syd but until last night I was a virgin.”

I snort with laughter. “Yeah right! Try again.”

“Okay.” He grunts. He pauses for a moment. I’m not sure if he’s actually counting or trying to freak me out.

“Jeez Vaughn I didn’t know it was in the hundreds.” I wink.

“Ew, ok that’s just wrong.” He shudders.

“I know.”

“Ok, ok, six,” he says. Then he looks at me curiously. “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve done it?”

“VAUGHN!” I gasp. He just grins. “How the hell did we get started on this?”

“I dunno just answer the question.”

“No,” I say as I grab my pjs from the floor and slide out of bed.

“Syyyyyyyyd.” He whines.

“Nope.” I say as I walk away. Once I reach the balcony I turn back and smile. “I’d say the warehouse but, unfortunately, that was only a dream.” I wink at him. Then I turn away quickly. Why do I say that stuff around him? Ugh! What that man does to me.

A second later Vaughn is standing beside me smiling. “You had that one too huh?”

“Yeah, but somehow I think that chain link fence would hurt a lot more in real life.”

“Probably.” He sighs as he pulls me into a kiss. Fifteen minutes later our activities are interrupted by a loud pounding noise at the door. My heart just about beats right out of my chest. “Who the hell is that?” Vaughn whispers. I just shake my head in terror. He grabs his gun from the nightstand and instructs me to stay where I am. I grab a blanket and wrap it around myself and creep towards the stairs where he just went. Then I realize that if it is someone who has come after us, Vaughn will need back up. I grab my gun and follow him down the stairs.

“Jesus Jack you scared the hell outta –“ Vaughn is interrupted by a moan and a loud thud. I rush down the stairs to see him sprawled out on the floor, clutching his bleeding jaw.

“DAD!” I screech when I see my father shaking off his fist. “Did you just punch him?” I ask as I crouch down to the floor to check on Vaughn.

“Sydney Anne what are you wearing?” He demands. I look down at myself and notice that I’m only wearing panties with a blanket wrapped around my chest. Shit. Quickly I bolt up the stairs and try to find my clothes as I hear my father and Vaughn begin to argue.

“Took her straight to your bed did you! That’s what you wanted all along you son of a bitch!” My dad yells. Oh my god why can’t I get my pants on?! Damn it!

“Jack, it’s not like that!” Vaughn defends.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t remove your ability to have children right now.” My dad threatens.

“DAD!” I shout as I run down the steps, still pulling my shirt over my head. “Stop! Let Vaughn go!” I demand when I see my dad’s death grip on Vaughn’s open shirt collar.

“I’m very disappointed in you Sydney. I thought you had more sense than this.” He sighs as he releases Vaughn who coughs slightly. I walk over to him and take his hand in mine.

“Dad, it’s not like that. I’m in love with Vaughn; I have been for a while now,” I say. He looks slightly surprised. His eyes dart to Vaughn who still looks rather pale.

“I love her too,” he says quietly. Dad doesn’t say anything, he just stares.

“Dad what are you doing here? How did you find us?” I ask.

“Your suitcase... it has a tracking device on it,” he says quietly.

“No it doesn’t.” I say. Unless.... man he just never quits does he? “Fine.” I grunt. “Isn’t this dangerous?”

“Probably.” He says. “But I had to see if you were... alone or not.” Dad says with a dangerous glance towards Vaughn. “Agent Vaughn has been missing for over a week as well and I just had this feeling he would be with you.”

“Oh.” I sigh.

“You should know, Agent Vaughn, Director Kendall isn’t very happy with you.” My dad tells him.

“Yeah, what else is new?” Vaughn says under his breath.

“So here’s how this is going to work,” Dad says. Wow, who died and made him king? “Vaughn is going to go back to LA and the CIA and you Sydney are going to come with me-“

“Wait, does Sloane know you’re a double too?” I interrupt.

“No, but-“

“Then why are you coming?”

“Because I won’t let you go through this alone,” he says.

I take a brave step in front of Vaughn and lean back against his chest. “I’m not alone,” I say.

“Sydney you cannot possibly-“

“Yes I can.” I say firmly. “I’m not seven years old anymore Dad. I’m almost thirty. I can take care of myself. And Vaughn is coming with me.”

“This is foolish and reckless!” Dad snaps but I just glare at him. He storms out of the house and slams the door. The second he’s gone I race up the stairs and begin to dig through my bag. I find a slit in the lining and pull out the tracking device. I race to the balcony and throw it as far as I can. It lands with a small splash in the lake and I sigh with relief.

I turn around to see Vaughn standing in the doorway. I walk three steps forward and fall into his warm embrace, burying my face in his chest. “Syd,” he sighs.

“Just gimmie a second.” I say as I squeeze him tighter.

“SHIT! Syd get down.” Vaughn shouts as he wrenches me down to the floor with him. I’m confused for only a millisecond before it starts. Gunfire.

We both curse as we scramble out of view from the window and grab our pieces. “Where is he?!” I demand as I try to find the shooter.

“I don’t know!” Vaughn shouts. “He could have a sniper rifle... he could be across the lake....”

Slowly I make my way up to the third floor and to the edge of that balcony, making sure to stay mostly hidden as I search for the shooter. The gunfire stops momentarily and I get a better look out the window. I can’t see anything except trees. Damn it. I creep down the stairs once more to where Vaughn is standing, poised and ready to attack.

“Why’d they stop?” he asks.

“I don’t know.” I sigh. “We’ve got to get out of here though.”

“Yeah.” He nods. “Any idea where to go?”

“A few,” I smile. “You game?”

“Always.” He smiles.



So we run. I don’t know how long it will be. I don’t know how long it will last. I don’t know where we’re going. What I do know is that no matter where we go, I’ll always keep running, just as long as he’s by my side. I know he’ll never leave my side.

We're running
Running to the future
do you think we'll make it?
I really hope we make it
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated
With you right by my side

-Fin-

Lyrics: No Doubt, “Running”