Miracles Happen

Author: Janet (SkyGirl5)

Genre: S/V, AU

Summary: She was his salvation, now he must be hers.

Disclaimer: Sydney, Vaughn, etc are properties of JJ Abrams and ABC.

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Chapters 1-10 // Chapters 11 - 20 // Chapters 21-30 // Chapters 31-35

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Chapter 1

The train rocked back and forth gently as it emerged out into the sunlight again. Michael Vaughn took one last look back at the sun sparkling off the New York City high rises and then he looked forward to New Jersey. Typically, people weren’t excited or anxious on this direction of the journey but Michael was. Well maybe not excited, but definitely anxious. He was going home. He was going home to say goodbye to the woman that he loved so dearly for the first 22 years of his life.

Back in New York was one life; in New Jersey there was another. Both of them lifetimes apart but yet tied together. In New York he was Michael, sophisticated Columbia University grad bound for law school in the fall. In New Jersey he was Michael, a devastated boy who’s life was plagued with tragedy and who loved a girl more than life itself. Was he truly either of these people? He didn’t know anymore. But he was trying to find out.

For just a moment his thoughts drifted back to his current girlfriend of over a year, Lauren Reed. She was also a Columbia grad bound for law school. But there was definitely something different about his relationship with her. He hid a part of himself that he only let shine through when he was with her. He told Lauren why he was going and she understood. In fact, she was even compassionate about it and encouraged him to go. She told him it was something he needed to do. And that was truer than she could ever imagine.

Michael shifted in his seat and began to face the passing industrial parks that were New Jersey. A New Jersey Transit train sped past the window going the opposite direction and momentarily blocked his view of the wasteland of rusted iron and empty, abandoned train cars. He couldn’t help but laugh slightly at the idea that he had actually anticipated this for weeks.

But it wasn’t the smoke stacks and litter he was anticipating. It was her.

What had he told Lauren? That in his senior year of high school his long time friend and girlfriend at the time was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia. She had a bone marrow transplant; but it failed. She had insisted that he leave before she passed and so he did, but only because it was her wish that he do so. He hadn’t been back to visit her grave, he never had the heart to do so. But he felt that he needed to close that door in his life. So he needed to go back.

That wasn’t a lie of course; it just wasn’t the whole truth. He left out that he was deeply and passionately in love with this young woman and that he missed her every day of his life. Even at such a young age he fantasized about marrying her and having a family with her, even more so after she got sick. What else hadn’t he told her? That it was his bone marrow that had failed to save her and that final night he was with her had been both the worst and best of his life.

Also, and most importantly of all, she was his salvation though all the rough times in his life and the fact that he couldn’t save her ate him up inside.

So he was going home to say goodbye. He needed to move on; after all it had been four years. He felt as though he couldn’t move on, not without a proper goodbye to the woman who gave him so much. So he was going home to say a final goodbye to his love, Sydney Bristow.



Chapter 2

As the train continued on its path towards the small, one horse beach town Michael called home, his thoughts drifted back across the decade since he had met her and how much had happened, both good and bad, in those short ten years that made up nearly half of his life.

Thomasville, New Jersey. That’s where it all began. Michael’s dad had grown up there and his grandparents still lived there while Michael and his parents lived in New York. His parents were corporate lawyers, always busy with new cases and working late into the evening hours. During the summers they would send Michael to Thomasville to stay with his grandparents. Michael didn’t mind it that much really, except it was rather boring. That is until he was 12; that’s when he met Sydney.

She had lived in Thomasville her whole life. Her dad owned the local pharmacy and her mom stayed at home with her and her younger sister Nadia. When Michael first saw Sydney she had just fallen off her bike along a sandy path leading towards the beach. He rushed over to her and asked if she was alright. She tried to be brave and said she was fine even though her knee was scraped and bleeding. Michael walked her home and made sure she was all right. The next day Sydney found him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, thanking him for being so kind to her.

Thus began their friendship. They hung out during the summer and the times Michael was in Thomasville and during the school year while he was back in New York they exchanged email occasionally. Sill they were just friends and nothing more. Then tragedy struck and it changed Michael’s life forever.

It was the Easter weekend at the end of 10th grade. Michael’s parents had promised to stay in Thomasville but then they suddenly were called back to the city. Michael wasn’t even disappointed; that’s how often they broke promises to him. So when they left he went over to visit Sydney who had her 16th birthday the previous week. He brought her a present.

*FLASHBACK*

“Hey Syd,” Michael smiled when he saw her swinging gently on the swing set in her back yard.

“Michael,” She smiled when she saw him approaching. “What are you doing here?”

“I came for Easter.” He smiled.

“Oh cool.”

“I brought you something.” He said. She looked at him curiously. He pulled a small wrapped package out of his pocket. “Happy Birthday Syd.”

“Aww that’s so sweet; you didn’t have to do that.” She said taking the present. Michael just shrugged and smiled at her. She opened it up and found a beaded bracelet in pink, her favorite color. “Oh! I love it, thank you.” She said as she got up and gave him a hug.

“You’re welcome,” He laughed.

They talked for about twenty minutes until Sydney’s mother, Irina, came out of the house with a solemn expression. “Michael there’s someone who needs to speak with you.”

“Me? Who?” He asked. Then he saw the local police chief coming out of their house. “What’s going on?” He asked nervously.

“Michael I’m sorry but… there’s been an accident.” The man said sadly.

“What? My grandparents….?”

“No; not them. Michael it’s your parents.”

“My parents?!” Michael asked frantically. “What happened? Are they in the hospital?”

“I’m sorry son, but… their car got stuck on the train tracks and it was hit by a train. They didn’t make it.” The police chief said sadly. Sydney made a horrified gasp and rushed over to her mother. Michael just stood there; he couldn’t move; he couldn’t speak; he could barely even breathe.

*ENDFLASHBACK*



Chapter 3

After his parents death Michael didn’t even know what to do or how to act. He knew that his grandfather had moved with him to New York for a month so that he could finish 10th grade without moving schools. He vaguely remembered the sad glances and courteous hugs he received from his friends but that was all. Most of that time was a complete blur. Lawyers and his grandparents were telling him things about his parent’s estate and what they had left him; he didn’t hear a word. He was just lost.

Finally when school was over he moved back to Thomasville with his grandparents since they were now his legal guardians. He remembered bits and pieces of that summer. Mostly he remembered Sydney. They would just sit together for hours on the beach, not saying a word. In fact Michael had probably only said 10 sentences in the three months after his parents died. He’d watch the other families playing on the beach and become so angry that he didn’t have a family anymore. He was very angry. Angry with his parents for leaving him when they had hardly even been there. Angry at himself for not missing them as much as he thought he should. Angry with the world.

As soon as he started 11th grade at the small high school in Thomasville his anger shone through more than ever. He was rude toward teachers and classmates. He drank, smoked and even used illegal drugs a few times. His world was spiraling out of control and it was Sydney who brought him back.

All along she had been concerned about him. She had covered for him when he turned up drunk at her house. She nearly beat him up when she found him with pot. She was always there making sure he was alright but finally she got sick of it and one evening when he was about to go out to another party she stopped him.

*FLASHBACK*

Sydney was waiting for Michael outside his grandparent’s house and approached him immediately. “Where are you going?” She demanded.

“Out.” He said curtly.

“No you’re not. You have a test tomorrow and I know you haven’t studied.” Sydney said.

“So? How many other tests have I not studied for this year? Who cares….” He said as he walked off. She grabbed his arm and held him back.

“Michael Christian Vaughn you stop right there.” She snapped.

“Jesus Syd you’re not my mom.” He groaned as he shrugged off her grasp on his arm.

“You’re right I’m not your mom, but if you were my son I’d sure as hell knock some sense into you.” She said as she smacked his head right above his ear.

“OUCH! What the hell is your problem!” He groaned.

“You’re my problem. I won’t let you do this Michael; I won’t let you ruin your life.”

“It’s my life.” He said.

“You’re right it is. And if you were alone in this world then you could just drink yourself to death and no one would care right? I know that’s what you think; that you’re alone. But you’re not alone. The world doesn’t hate you Michael, as much as you’d like to believe it does.” She told him. He just glared at her without saying a word so she just continued.

“People care about you Michael and by doing this crap to yourself you’re hurting them too. Your grandmother is worried sick about you all the time. Do you know she cries at night when you don’t come home? Did you know that? And what about your grandfather? He’s driving around at night making sure you’re not passed out on some street corner somewhere. And what about me? I care too Michael. And I’ve been helping you and I have only myself to blame for that. But not anymore Michael. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Whatever….” He said trying to walk away.

“Hey!” She screamed as she ran around to the front of him, blocking his way. “You’re going to listen to me whether you like it or not.” She said. He just looked at her. “Now its only November so you have two months to pull up your grades before mid term exams. You can do it and I will help you. You will not drink. You won’t do drugs. And you won’t smoke either.” She said as she pulled the carton of cigarettes from his jacket pocket and threw it in the nearby trashcan.

“HEY!” He shouted.

“It’s time to grow up Michael and start acting like yourself.” She said with her arms crossed over her chest.

“I am being myself.” He snapped.

“Like hell you are. I know who you are. You’re Michael the guy who helped me home when I fell off my bike at 12 years old. The guy who loves peanut butter ice cream in a waffle cone more than anything in the world. You like to play Frisbee on the beach with the local elementary kids during the summer. You’re a good student who doesn’t drink or smoke and listens to his parents. You’re kind, caring and compassionate. That’s who you are Michael.” She said.

Her words touched him. He had no idea that’s the way she saw him.

“No get your ass back in that house now!” She said as she gave him a shove. He didn’t move. “GO!” She screamed. He turned and began to walk slowly. “Not fast enough.” She said as she grabbed his wrist and dragged him back into the house, past his grandparents and up to his room. She sat him down at his desk, put his chemistry book in front of him and said “Study.”

He mumbled something incoherent under his breath but then he began to leaf through the book. Sydney smiled in satisfaction and then walked out the door and back to her own house to finish studying.

*ENDFLASHBACK*



Chapter 4

Whether he admitted it or not, the truth was that even though many counselors and teachers and other adults had told him the same thing, it was her he listened too, no one else. So he got his life back together. He pulled his grades up and quit drinking and smoking. He never actually thanked Sydney for what she did; not until later at least.

By the end of 11th grade Michael had a girlfriend, Alice, and it wasn’t until then that he saw the true depth of her feelings and where her words to him came from. She liked him and she was jealous of Alice. He was stunned and flattered at first but he didn’t say anything to her about. Until one day when he called her out on it, which wasn’t the smartest decision he could have made.

*FLASHBACK*

“Well if you ask me I think you’re jealous.” Michael said to Sydney after she was being moody to him.

“Jealous?! She gasped. “Of what?”

“Alice.”

“Me?! Jealous of you’re girlfriend? HA!” She responded.

Michael just smiled at her. “Admit it; you totally are.”

“Am not.” She said childishly.

“Are too!! Sydney has a crush, Sydney has a crush.” He taunted.

“Shut up asshole.” She grunted at him as she went to walk away.

“Syd.” He laughed. But she glanced back at him briefly and the look in her eyes broke his heart. She really liked him and he was being mean to her. “Syd wait.” He sighed. She just shook her head as she walked into her house and slammed the door behind her.

“Aw man….” He groaned as he went in after her.

“What are you doing?” Nadia, her sister, asked.

“I’m going after Sydney why?”

“Did you make her cry?” Nadia asked, half amused.

“She’s crying?! Oh damn it…” He said as he ran up the stairs to her room, taking two at a time. He peaked in the crack of her bedroom door and saw her sprawled out over her bed sobbing into a pillow. He felt so guilty. “Syd?” He asked as he knocked quietly.

She sat bolt upright and tried to quiet her sobs. “Go away Michael.”

“Syd I’m sorry I…”

“I said go away!” She screamed, still not facing him.

“Syd…” He protested once again.

She violently threw a pillow at the door causing a loud smack. “GET OUT!”

Michael sighed in defeat and walked back down the stairs even though he could hear her sobbing still.

“What’s the matter Michael?” His grandmother asked when he came into the house.

“Oh… nothing…. I just upset Sydney I think…” He sighed as he poured himself a glass of water.

“How?”

“I was teasing her… about her crush on me…”

“Michael!” his grandmother said in a scolding tone.

“Yeah… yeah I know.” He groaned.

“You need to apologize to her.”

“I know and I tried but she threw a pillow at me.” He said.

“Well perhaps you should try again later… by the way Alice called.”

“Oh ok, thanks Gramma.” He said as he reached for the phone.

That evening he and Alice went to the movies but Michael was distracted. He couldn’t take his thoughts off Sydney.

“Michael what’s wrong with you?” Alice asked.

“What?”

“You haven’t even looked at me all night.” She said.

“Oh… sorry I…. I think we need to talk.” He said. She looked confused and before he knew it Michael was breaking up with her. She cried and Michael felt even worse.

“Well now that I’m an all around jackass…” Michael groaned as he was walking home from the theater. As he was walking he passed Sydney’s house like he always did on his way home. He stopped in front of it and just stared for a few moments, thinking of what to do. Then, it came to him.

He walked quickly to the front door and knocked. Her father answered.

“Hey Mr. Bristow, is Sydney home?” Michael asked.

“Yeah she’s up in her room, go ahead.” Jack said.

“Thanks.” Michael said as he walked up the stairs. The Bristow’s had always let Michael up into Sydney’s room because of their non boyfriend/girlfriend status but Michael was hoping that he could change that; the status that was.

“Syd?” Michael knocked on her bedroom door again. She didn’t answer so he slowly pushed open the door. She was sitting on the floor with headphones on and leafing through a magazine. He walked over and sat next to her. She turned and jumped when she saw it was him.

“Michael you scared me.” She groaned as she took off her headphones and put them aside.

“Sorry.” He laughed slightly.

“Why are you here?” She asked in an annoyed tone.

“I came to apologize for teasing you. That was mean and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry I upset you.” He said.

She gave a small smile. “Thank you; you’re forgiven.”

“I also came to tell you that I broke up with Alice.” He said.

Her eyes shot up at him. “What?” She gasped.

“Yeah well… as it turns out we weren’t that good for each other. I think…” He paused. “I think there’s someone else much better for me.”

“Really? Who might that be?” She asked, not looking at him and praying that he couldn’t hear her heart beating so fast.

“It’s this girl… I’ve known her for, wow, five years now and I guess I never really realized how much I liked her until I hurt her… and now I feel like a jerk.” He sighed.

“You’re not a jerk.” She told him.

“That’s nice to hear.” He smiled slightly. “Syd…” he said as he put a gentle hand under her chin and turned her face towards his. He leaned over and kissed her gently; she kissed him back.

“Do you really like me Michael or are you just….” She asked but he cut her off with another kiss.

“I really like you.” He smiled. She smiled too and threw her arms around his neck giving him a strong hug.

*ENDFLASHBACK*



Chapter 5

Michael and Sydney spent an amazing summer together. They had the time of their lives. Looking back, Michael thought that it was probably the best summer of his life. Sydney made him forget that anything bad had ever happened in his life because she was such a strong force of good. They spent hours at the beach just playing in the sand and walking through the ocean. At night they’d take long walks as the tide came in. Soon they were deeply in love, but neither of them realized it or said it aloud.

Then school began and it was their senior year so they were trying to make the most of it. Sydney threw Michael a huge surprise party for his 18th birthday and he loved it.

It was only around Christmas time that things took a turn for the worst. Sydney got sick and she wasn’t getting better. Michael was concerned but figured that she just caught a really bad case of the flu. He didn’t understand why Mrs. Bristow was crying or Mr. Bristow looked so upset. That’s when Sydney told him.

*FLASHBACK*

“Michael I need to talk to you.” Sydney said when she came over to his house one day over their Christmas break from school.

“Syd it’s freezing outside, come in here. You’re sick you shouldn’t be out.” He said as he pulled her inside and gave her a hug, trying to rub warmth back into her shivering body.

“I’m ok.” She said. They both sat down on his couch and he draped a blanket over her legs. “Thanks.” She mumbled. She paused for a few moments, taking deep breaths and trying to collect her thoughts. “Michael I’m sick.”

“I know that babe, but you’ll be better soon.” He smiled at her.

The look on his face and the tone of his voice broke her heart and she began to sob.

“Syd what’s wrong?” Michael asked.

“There’s something I haven’t told you… and I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you but I thought it went away and it didn’t matter any more but…. But now it does.”

“Syd what are you talking about?” Michael asked with concern.

“When I was 7 years old… I had cancer… I had radiation treatment and it went away.” She said.

Michael tried to swallow the massive lump in his throat but it wouldn’t go away. She had cancer. Cancer. Probably the most dreaded word in the English language and it had come out of her mouth. “Syd…” He croaked, his heart begging her not to say what he suspected was coming next.

“Michael…” She said trying to gain composure enough to say the words, but she couldn’t.

“It came back didn’t it?” He asked. She just nodded. “Oh god Syd….” He sighed as he pulled her into his lap and rocked her back and forth. He didn’t even know what to do or say; he could hardly grasp the concept. She continued to cry for almost fifteen minutes before he spoke again. “But I mean it will be ok right? You can have treatment again and… why are you shaking your head like that?”

“This isn’t like last time.” She sighed. “I have leukemia… it’s in my bones and…. And…” He reached over and stroked her cheek, trying to make her better but he couldn’t. “Michael, they gave me four months.” She told him.

With that his heart sunk deep into the pit of his stomach and shattered completely. “F-four months to-to what?” He asked as tears welled in his eyes.

“They said this form of cancer is quick and strong…. They told me I only had four months to live.” She said, her bottom lip quivering.

“NO!” Michael shouted as tears began to fall down his face.

“Michael…”

“NO! You’re only 17!! You’re not going to die in four months!! You can’t!! I won’t let you!!” He shouted angrily.

“Michael please.” She begged him.

“NO! NO, no no no!! I love you! I won’t let you die!” He shouted. With that he surprised himself. He had never said those words before, but he couldn’t imagine meaning them anymore than at that moment. “I love you.” He repeated.

Sydney just looked at him. “I love you too.” She said. Michael just pulled her close to him, kissed her and hugged her tightly.

Sydney hugged back praying that if only his love was enough to save her….

*ENDFLASHBACK*



Chapter 6

Christmas that year was clouded with a depressing haze that no one could escape. Since it was a small town, soon everyone knew that 17 year old Sydney Bristow was dying. Her parents were crushed, sad and didn’t know what to do with themselves. Her sister, who was only 13, cried frequently. Michael was just lost. Sydney seemed to be taking it the best out of anyone.

They went back to school in January and Sydney insisted that no one make a big deal about it. After all, aside from feeling a little weaker than normal she felt fine and she didn’t want to think about it. At least not until she had to.

But things did change. Sydney constantly received sympathetic gazes in the hallway. People were suddenly a hundred thousand times nicer to her and offered to help her with everything. She hated that. They all treated her as if she was a fragile piece of glass that was on the verge of shattering. But the thing that probably changed the most was Michael. He hovered around her constantly, to the point of annoying. He never missed an opportunity to spend time with her. She appreciated his concern but felt it was unnecessary.

Michael knew he had changed. He knew that part of his changing was actually irritating her but he didn’t care. He had promised himself one thing. He wasn’t going to let her die. He was going to save her; she saved him and now he had to save her. He spent hours researching her disease and speaking to her parents about it, trying to come up with treatment options but it seemed nothing was working for her.

Finally around the end of February, Sydney’s health took a bad turn. She collapsed one day at school right in front of Michael which nearly caused him to have a stroke himself. They rushed her to the hospital and discovered that her cancer was getting worse. Her only hope for any type of survival was a bone marrow transplant.

*FLASHBACK*

Sydney’s parents had called Michael into their meeting with the doctor since he had effectively become family at that point. The doctor told them that she needed a bone marrow transplant immediately or she wouldn’t last another month. Her parents were beside themselves with grief but Michael became more determined than ever.

“She needs a bone marrow transplant right? Well how do they match that?!” Michael asked.

“Usually we start with family, but unfortunately no one in Sydney’s immediate family has the same blood type as her.” The doctor said.

“She’s AB negative right?” Michael asked. The doctor nodded. “So am I.” He said.

“Michael.” Sydney interjected. “You can’t…”

“Why not?” He asked.

“Michael you just…” She sighed. “It doesn’t work that way… a million other things have to match…”

“She’s right.” The doctor said. “It’s not just blood type. The chances you being a suitable donor are almost nothing.”

“But there is a chance right? I mean it can’t hurt to test right?!” He asked frantically.

“No I suppose not.” The doctor said. “Are you sure? The test can be rather painful and…”

“I’m sure.” Michael interrupted.

They did the test that day and while they were waiting for the results Michael sat with Sydney in her hospital room.

“Michael why are you doing this?” Sydney asked.

“I have to.” He said.

“No you don’t. It’s not you’re job to save my life.” She sighed.

“But it is….” He said. She looked up at him curiously. “Syd when my parents died I was so… messed up for lack of a better word. But you… you were always there. I never even had to ask you were just there. And then when I went a little crazy you brought me back. I never got to thank you for everything that you did for me…”

“You never had to.” She smiled at him.

“Yes I did Syd,” Michael said as he took her hand and squeezed it tightly with his own. “You saved me… I wouldn’t have made it without you and now… now it’s my turn.”

“That’s very brave of you Michael but…. I just don’t want you getting you’re hopes up.” She sighed. He just kissed her gently and watched her drift off to sleep.

When the test results came back the doctor called Michael and Sydney’s parents into his office with out her.

“Well I must say that this is indeed shocking and very rare but… Michael’s bone marrow is a match for Sydney.” The doctor said.

The three of them breathed a sigh of relief.

“But before we even think about continuing with this we all need to have a very serious discussion. Michael you must know that this surgery is painful and can be damaging. It’s also dangerous….”

“I know but I don’t care; if it can save her then do it.” He said firmly.

“You must all understand that this is only a chance, not a sure fire cure. The likelihood of the bone marrow not being rejected is slim and even slimmer that it will work in stopping the cancer.”

“We understand.” Her parents said.

“Then I’ll leave the decision up to you and Sydney.” The doctor said.

Before even telling Sydney, her parents sat Michael down with his grandparents to talk about the situation at hand. They tried to talk rationally with him and tried to make him understand that this was not a cure, but of course he wouldn’t listen to reason. He was still idealistic, overly hopeful and eternally optimistic that given the opportunity HE would be the one to save her. In the end they let the decision up to Sydney; after all it was her life that was at stake.

She never let Michael see it but she was hesitant to accept his bone marrow. First, she knew that he would blame himself if it didn’t work and she didn’t want that because it wouldn’t be his fault at all. Second she didn’t want him to have to go through a painful surgery and recovery just for her. But he was so determined and she knew that without it she would surely die so she accepted.

Since he was 18, Michael didn’t need his grandparent’s permission for the surgery, though they would have given it anyway. Their high school was very understanding about the whole situation and let Michael and Sydney continue their studies as much as they could even though Sydney was never in school and Michael was rarely there.

Finally the day of the surgery came. Michael and Sydney spent hours talking together, just the two of them about everything. They understood the risks; they told each other how much they loved one another; they shared one final kiss and then they were both wheeled off to surgery.

*END FLASHBACK*



Chapter 7

The few days after the surgery Michael didn’t remember much. He was on a lot of medication and drifted in and out of consciousness. He remembered his grandparent’s staying with him a lot and Sydney’s parents and sister coming to see him but that was about it. Finally he was ‘released’ from the hospital, though he never actually left. He just moved to Sydney’s room and watched over her like he had been doing. Suddenly he felt more like her guardian angel than anything else. It was physically a part of him that was keeping her alive and he needed it to keep her alive more than anything he ever needed in his life before.

In those days after the surgery Michael found himself praying a lot more than he had ever done in the past. He had never considered himself a particularly religious person up until those past few weeks. He found himself praying, but never for himself; only for her. Before he was put under for surgery he begged God to let the bone marrow work and to let Sydney live. As he watched over her he prayed for any sign that she was ok. He would have settled for a simple blink of the eyes, but nothing happened.

Her parents simply wished for their daughter to live just one more day. Her sister wanted her to live another month or at least to her high school graduation. But Michael, he wished for her to live forever; with him. In those times he sat by her bedside he found himself thinking about the future; their future. He decided then and there that there was no one else in the world he’d rather spend his life with than with her. She was it; she was the one. Which mean that there was no way she could die. She just had to live.

Finally two weeks after the surgery she was starting to come around. The doctors said it was still too early to tell if the transplant had worked but her growing strength was a good sign. And in early April, four months from the time the doctors told her she wouldn’t live more than four months, Sydney was released from the hospital.

Michael was elated, ecstatic and beyond words overjoyed. Everyone told him not to get his hopes up, but of course he couldn’t help it. In his mind that was a sign. A sign she was going to be alright. She was going to make it. She would live.

Michael was forced to return to school but he barely paid any attention at all to what was going on around him. He lived for the moments he spent with her. After school, he would race to her house and do his homework on the floor of her bedroom while she read and attempted to keep up with hers.

Finally the doctors reluctantly admitted that it appeared the transplant had been a success and that Sydney was getting better by the day. Even her spirits were rising which made her heal even better. Sydney’s 18th birthday was an amazing celebration with all her close family and friends who were simply celebrating that she was alive.

In early May she was even able to return to school. She and Michael went to the prom (though they only stayed part of the time since she still tired easily) and they graduated.

Unfortunately it was only two very short weeks after graduation that things became very, very wrong once again.



Chapter 8

The third week in June Michael and Sydney were walking around the town when she suddenly fell very ill. Michael took her to the hospital immediately where they found their worst fears had been realized; the transplant didn’t work as they planed.

*FLASHBACK*

“I don’t understand,” Michael shouted to the doctor. “It worked! You said it did!”

“We thought it did work, it looked like it worked….” The doctor sighed.

“So then what the hell happened?”

“It appears the cancer is just too strong… it’s come back again and well… there’s little we can do.” The doctor said sadly. Sydney’s mother began to cry again but Michael was still furious.

“No don’t say that. There has to be something!” He said.

“I’m sorry… but the odds of another transplant working are very close to nothing and even if there was a chance her body just wouldn’t be strong enough to go through that again.”

“How long?” Jack asked solemnly.

The doctor sighed and paused for a moment. “She might make it to the end of summer… its hard to tell at this point but… I don’t see her making it past there. I am very sorry.”

Michael didn’t know what to do with himself. His mind was going crazy, his head spinning. He began to feel sick. He couldn’t face the doctor or Sydney’s parents anther second… he couldn’t even face her. So he ran.

He ran out of the hospital and down to the beach and he just kept running until he couldn’t physically move anymore. He collapsed onto his knees in the sand and just let the waves crash at his feet.

He went though an intense range of emotions there on that beach. At first he was angry with himself. He didn’t save her. It was his fault. His bone marrow didn’t work and now she was going to die.

Then he became angry with the world in general. Why did everything happen to him? His parents died and now the only other person he had truly loved was dying too. It wasn’t fair. Nothing was fair. She was dying. She was dying. DYING.

That’s when it finally hit him. She was going to be gone. He couldn’t call her at random hours of the night just to hear her voice. He couldn’t see her gorgeous smile that made everything bad go away and everything good in the world again. He couldn’t hug her; he couldn’t kiss her; he couldn’t hold her for hours. They couldn’t walk on the beach together anymore. She would never go to college. She would never have a job. She would never have a husband or children or grandchildren. She could never see her sister graduate from college. She would miss everything and he would miss her more than life itself.

He wasn’t sure how long he cried on the beach but he never even thought about what time it was until the sun completely disappeared from view. Finally he got up and tried to figure out where he was. As it turned out he had run practically to the next town so he began to trek back to his house. By the time he got there he was too emotionally strained to go to the hospital so he just showered and crashed into his sheets and fell asleep immediately.

The next morning he awoke and went straight to the hospital with a fake smile plastered across his face just for her. He knew she’d see through it but he didn’t care. In a tiny little way it made him feel just a little bit better. When he walked into her room she was watching TV. She smiled at him.

“Hey, how are you?” He asked as he kissed her before sitting down beside her bed.

“Alright… a little tired though.” She sighed. “Where were you last night? My parents were worried.”

“I’m sorry I just… I went for a walk and got distracted.” He told her. She just nodded her head in understanding.

“Don’t blame yourself Michael.” She said. “I know you will but don’t. This isn’t your fault….” He just shook his head and looked to the floor. “Hey, look at me.” She said. He looked up at her. “This is not your fault. Look what you gave me Michael. They told me that I’d never make it to my 18th birthday; that was over two months ago. I made it this far because of you. Because of you. I graduated high school and I got to go to prom. Do you know what the doctors think about that? They can’t explain it Michael; they have no idea how I was that strong even for such a brief period of time. But I know it was you.”

He smiled slightly at her. “But still you’re….” he let his voice drift off.

“Dying.” She said. He looked up at her as if she had said the most horrific swear word in the universe. “It’s ok you can say it.”

“How can you be like that?” He asked.

“Like what?”

“So… calm and… accepting. I was freaking out last night.” He said.

She laughed slightly. “I don’t have a choice Michael. I just have to live the time I have left the best I can.”

He just smiled and shook his head.

“What?” She laughed as his reaction.

“You…. You’re a thousand times better person then I could ever be.” He said.

She sighed. “Oh I don’t know about that. You did give your girlfriend your bone marrow.”

“And if it could save you; I’d give you everything I had.” He told her.

She leaned over to him and kissed him. Then she pulled back and leaned her forehead against his. “I know you would and for that alone I’ll love you forever.”

“I love you more than forever.” He said.

*ENDFLASHBACK*



Chapter 9

Michael spent every single day in the hospital with Sydney and if he would have been allowed; he’d never have left. Unfortunately both the hospital and Sydney’s parents made him go home to sleep, and he reluctantly agreed. Sydney and Michael talked during their time together; they played card games or board games or just watched TV. Anything to spend time with each other. Usually Nadia spent time with them as well, also playing cards or just talking. Some days one of Sydney’s other friends from school would stop by and hang out for a few hours but mostly people stayed away. Michael knew why; it was because no one knew what to say. What do you say to a dying classmate of yours? Michael barely knew himself all he knew was that he had to soak up of much as her as possible while he still could.

Sometimes Sydney would try and talk with Michael about college. He had been accepted to Columbia University in New York City and he was to leave on August 20th. Michael didn’t want to talk about university. He didn’t even want to think about it. Because every time he did, it made him want to cry. Because he knew that by the time he left… she would be gone. Still she tried to force the issue. She asked him what classes he would take or what dorm he was going to live in. Or if he had all his belongings packed and ready. Of course he didn’t; he spent every waking hour with her. His grandmother was taking care of everything for him, but he was unaware. All his thoughts were concentrated on her.

Through the month of July her health remained on a fairly steady but gradual down sloping path. But she was still able to function fairly well. Finally by the first week in August things began to progress faster and she became sicker. The doctors told her she’d only live another week; maybe two if she was lucky and Sydney decided that she wouldn’t die in a hospital bed; she wanted to go home.

Sydney’s parents had been through so much financial hardship that they weren’t sure how they were going to afford practically converting their house into a hospital but they tried to find a way since it was their daughter’s dying wish. That’s when Michael went to them.

*FLASHBACK*

One evening at their house Michael sat the Bristow’s down for a serious conversation.

“I know you guys are having financial troubles and I mean… with everything Sydney’s been though that’s understandable. I know you’re worried about bringing her home but I want to pay for it.” He said. Immediately they opened their mouths to stop him but he wouldn’t let them protest. “My parents left me a lot of money. I have more than enough to pay for four years of schooling plus law school if I choose to go there. I want to do this. I’ve talked it over with my grandparents and it’s my money so they can’t stop me but they think it’s a good idea. Please, let me do this.”

Jack and Irina exchanged glances. They were hardly in a position to argue considering they had absolutely no idea how else they would financially support the remainder of their daughter’s life.

“Please.” Michael added.

Irina got up, walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you.” She sighed. He hugged her back very tightly.

*ENDFLASHBACK*

So Michael paid for Sydney’s home care, but she never knew. She came home and was able to stay up in her own bedroom. Michael never left. He slept on her floor and only went home once a day to change his clothes and shower. Other than that he was by her side.

Sydney began feeling guilty that he was wasting his summer away inside on her bedroom floor. But he assured her there was nothing in the world he’d rather be doing and that was the honest truth.

Everyone had stopped listening to the doctors predictions about the length of time Sydney had left because every time they made a new estimate; they were always wrong.

On August 15th they couldn’t wake Sydney from her sleep. Michael was frantic and screaming. Her parents called a doctor and one of them came to the house. They said that she was in the final stages of her illness and probably wouldn’t last another 24 hours. No one knew what to do; all they did was watch her… and wait.



Chapter 10

The days became endlessly long and passing ever so slow. Of course the doctors were wrong once again. Sydney lived through the night and made it to the 16th…. And then the 17th…. And then the 18th… by that time her breathing had become shallow and she was on almost constant pain medication.

The doctors, who still weren’t sure how she had made it that long, were not convinced she would make it no longer, so they told everyone to prepare themselves.

*FLASHBACK*

Sydney’s parents asked Michael to leave that afternoon, so they could spend some time with their dying daughter. He agreed; but he had no idea where to go. He ended up just walking along the beach trying to come up with something to say to her…. What could he say? She could barely stay awake for more than two hours at a time. She was so weak, frail and pale. Every time he looked at her, his heart broke in half. He still saw in her what he always saw: his bright shinning Sydney-star. But the glitter had faded away from her. She was now almost just a broken shell existing; her vibrant spirit nearly gone.

Finally after dinner time he returned to the Bristow residence. Nadia was out in the back yard sobbing on the swing set. Michael walked over to her before entering the house. As soon as he neared her she got up and threw her arms around his waist. He hugged her back tightly. In the past few years Nadia had become like a sister to him and he hated seeing her upset just as much as he hated seeing Sydney that way. She told him that she just couldn’t be in the house and he understood why. But it was his turn to say goodbye.

He walked in the house and found Jack and Irina sitting at the kitchen table looking more haggard then they ever had. They had had large black bags under their eyes ever since the beginning of the summer, but now that everything was coming to a final end they appeared almost emotionless. They asked him to sit down and he did.

“Sydney asked us if you could spend the night in her bed and we agreed… we just wanted to let you know that.” Irina said. Michael just nodded. “We also wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done. You’ve been amazing Michael, we couldn’t have asked for anything better.”

“I only wish…” he sighed. “There was more –“

But Irina cut him off. “You’ve done more than enough.”

Michael smiled slightly at her and then went upstairs to Sydney.

She was sleeping, propped up on pillows on one side of her bed with the gentle hum and beep of machines filling the room. He walked over and sat on the bed next to her, stroking her hair gently. Her eyes had dark circles around them; her face pale and clammy. She looked weak and broken. It was all Michael could do not to break down right there.

He watched her sleep for quite some time, barely even comprehending that this was truly the end. His brain was screaming ‘No! This can’t be it! She looks so sick but she’ll be better right?’ His heart was praying ‘no please god don’t take her from me. I need her more than anything’. But still there she was… she was barely there at all.

Finally after the sun had crept over the horizon and darkness had fallen Sydney awoke.

“Hi,” She smiled weakly at him.

“Hey, how are you?” He asked just like he always did.

“I’m good.” She lied. “Get under the covers please.” She said. He slipped beneath the covers and wrapped his arms tightly around her weak, boney frame. She snuggled close to him, as much as she could at least, considering she was attached to about seven different machines. “So I guess this is it huh? The final inning?”

“Syd…” Michael said, his heart unable to take the pain.

“No please let me…. Thank you Michael; thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sacrificing so much…. I love you more than I can ever say and GOD I’m going to miss you please just… don’t forget me… I want you to go on, live a good life. Go to college and graduate, go to law school become a fabulous lawyer. Get married; have a family just… whenever you think of here, think of me, please?”

“God Syd I swear I’ll never ever forget you, not as long as I live. You’ll be with me forever and always.” He said as he kissed her forehead and held her tightly.

“Good.” She sighed. There were a few moments of silence before she spoke again. “Michael can you do something for me?”

“What baby?”

“Unhook me from all this crap.” She said weakly. He looked at her cautiously. “Please.”

He sighed as he reached over and turned off the heart monitors and all the other things she was attached to. Then he removed all the lines that were attached to her body and threw them aside. The only thing left was the IV that was feeding her morphine.

“Thank you.” She sighed as she snuggled up close to him once again. “Can you do one more thing?”

“Sure.” He said.

“Make love to me Michael.” She said.

He was sunned. “What? Syd we can’t…”

“Why not?” She asked.

“For about a hundred thousand reasons. First, your mom checks on you every half hour during the night…”

“She won’t do that tonight; I asked her not to.” Sydney said.

Michael looked down at her in disbelief. She seemed entirely sincere in what she was asking.

“Syd you’re too weak… something like that would…”

“Kill me?” She asked half joking.

“Syd…”

“Michael I’m dying. I won’t make it through the night and I don’t want to die a virgin. So please Michael I’m asking you as my final wish that you love me and make love to me.” Sydney pleaded with him.

Michael didn’t know what to say. He thought it was a terrible idea, not that he didn’t want to be with her he just didn’t want to cause her any pain at all. And he knew that if they did that letting go would be nearly impossible. But still it was her dying wish… how could he possibly deny her when he only had a few hours left with her.

So in response he just nodded. She smiled and shut her eyes with relief. She slowly began to unbutton the top to her flannel pajamas which she was wearing even in the dead heat of summer because she became cold so easily. Michael didn’t know what to do; his mind was racing. He suspected that since she asked her parents not to check on her they might have an idea about what exactly they were doing, which made him very uneasy. But of course she was still dying and there really wasn’t much they could do… there wasn’t anything anyone could do except make her happy.

He began to kiss her and took of his own shirt. She looked as though she was in pain while trying to take her own shirt off so he stopped her. “Syd…” he whispered.

She shook her head. “It’s ok… do you know how much morphine I’m on?”

He couldn’t help but crack a smile at her comment.

As he kissed her it seemed that that was the only time that she was alive the past three days. A tiny sparkle returned to her eyes and she was smiling and even joking, something she hadn’t done in weeks.

“Michael take off your pants already.” She giggled quietly.

“How much morphine are you on exactly?” He asked.

“Enough.”

Soon they were both naked together in her bed. She shivered involuntarily and Michael pulled her tighter to him. “I love you.” He whispered into her hear.

Her hands squeezed his back tightly. “I love you too.”

In those few moments with him Sydney thought that she was truly dying. Her body and mind were going crazy and looking into his emerald eyes was her only salvation from it all. Then again with him was the only time she truly felt alive. Strange how death and life could be so distant yet so tied together the way they were. Both their breathing was heavy and her fingers were digging into his back with ever ounce of strength she had left.

Then they were together again, holding each other closely, their heart rates slowly going back to normal. Michael made sure all of Sydney’s clothes were back on and she was warm before dressing himself. Then he held her tightly once again.

“Thank you.” She whispered, still panting slightly.

“Thank you.” He smiled.

They lay in silence for nearly half an hour.

“Michael,” Sydney said, half crying. “I’m tired.”

“Then go to sleep baby.” He said quietly.

“I can’t… I’m scared to sleep because…. I won’t wake up.” She sobbed.

“Oh god Syd… Syd you don’t ever have to be afraid; not while I’m here ok? Just sleep baby.” He sighed.

“I don’t want this to be over.”

“Syd it’s ok.” He said as he rocked her gently, even though he knew it really wasn’t ok. Nothing would ever be ok again. “Syd, god, I love you so much…. It’s ok baby… its ok.” He said, finally as his emotions got the better of him he began to sob.

All he wanted to do was scream. He wanted just to look up at the sky and yell at God saying, “NO! It’s too soon you can’t take her!! I need her!! I need more time with her!! I need her god do I need her.”

But she sobbed gently into his chest as her breathing became labored slightly. That was it, he knew it, she knew it. There was nothing left to do but just let go.

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Chapters 11 - 20