Change Your Mind

Author: Janet (SkyGirl5)

Genre: S/V, AU

Summary: Sydney and Michael are immeidatly attracted to one another. The only problem is: Michael desparately wants a family and he's not getting any younger. Sydney, on the other hand, doesn't want anythign to do with marriage and definitely doesn't want any children. Will he be able to change her mind before it's too late? [28]

Disclaimer: Sydney, Vaughn, etc are properties of JJ Abrams and ABC.

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Chapters 1-10 // Chapters 11 - 20 // Chapters 21-28 + Epilogue

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Chapter 21

For a few days after Sydney’s birthday and the revelations about her parent’s divorce, things were a bit icy between her and Michael. The ice quickly melted though, as May was upon them and they went back to being just as friendly as ever. As May wore on and the end of Sydney’s first trimester of pregnancy came to a close, her morning sickness dwindled and she was finally able to eat normal foods. Unfortunately, at least in her mind, this meant she was beginning to gain some pregnancy weight, which meant she began complaining about getting fat. She nearly had a heart attack when she got on her scale and found it read ten pounds heavier than it had the last time she’d weighed herself. She flat out refused to buy any maternity clothes or even look at them; she was going to wear her regular clothes until they were positively bursting at the seams.

One evening at the very end of May, Sydney and Michael were sitting in his apartment. They had been watching a hockey playoff game, but Michael turned it off due to the frustration of his favorite team losing terribly. Sydney was absentmindedly thumbing through a parenting book, every so often glancing up towards Michael. She wanted to ask him something, but didn’t quite know how to do it delicately. “Michael…,” she began finally. “I was wondering if you could do something for me?”

“Sure, what is it?” he asked her, looking up from the newspaper he was reading.

“I want you to have sex with me,” she told him in a blunt yet serious manner. For a moment, Michael stared at her before he burst out laughing. “Why are you laughing?!” she demanded.

“Because that was a funny joke,” he laughed.

“I’m not joking!” she whined.

“Okay,” he said in a ‘playing along’ manner, “and why would I do that?”

“Well… ‘cause… you know I’m in my second trimester now and, uh, well, I don’t know if you’ve read but… but women in their second trimester tend to be in need of…companionship,” she told him. At his bewildered expression she exclaimed in frustration, “Alright, I’m horny, damn it!”

Michael laughed as a grin spread across his face. “Yeah I know, I read all about that, I just wanted to hear you say it,” he told her.

She gave him an annoyed look. “So, are you gonna do it or not?”

“Nope,” he said, picking up his paper once more.

Sydney’s jaw crashed into her lap. “Why the hell not? Got a girlfriend on the side?”

“No girlfriend, I just don’t think it’s a good idea. You yourself said we couldn’t do it again, so we’re not,” he said simply. When he glanced over to see her response to this he saw tears welling in her eyes.

“You think I’m ugly, don’t you!” Sydney sobbed. “You think I’m ugly and I’m fat and you don’t want to see me naked because you’ll see all my fat! That’s why you won’t sleep with me, isn’t it?! Isn’t it?!”

Michael was so stunned by her response he couldn’t react at first. Up until then, Sydney’s mood swings had been very minimal; however, it appeared they were starting up. “No, no, no of course not,” Michael said softly. “You’re beautiful.”

“I’m fat!” she wailed. “My pants are tight and I’m fat!”

“No, you’re not; you’re pregnant.”

“I’m a cow,” she wailed. “No one’s going to want to be with the fat girl.”

“No, no, no,” Michael said in a soothing tone as he tried to hug her. “Of course I want to be with you – I love you.” Of course he hadn’t intended to blurt out his true feelings, but it had happened and it was rather unfortunate since Sydney only started to cry even harder.

“You don’t love me!” she wailed.

“Of course I do,” he assured her. Upon realizing his t-shirt was practically soaked through from Sydney, Michael reached for a tissue box and handed it to her.

She used about four tissues before sniffing at him asking, “If you love me, why don’t you have sex with me? Think of it as charity – you’d be helping the poor horny cow.”

Michael couldn’t help but laugh at her as he brushed away her tears. “Okay, but I’m not doing it out of charity. I’m doing it because I love you,” he said.

“Whatever,” Sydney said before grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling him into a kiss.

~*~

Late that night, Sydney awoke in Michael’s bed with his arms around her. She rolled over to face him and in the dimly lit room she could see a soft smile playing on his lips as he slept. She watched him sleep for about ten minutes, building up her courage, before she finally whispered, “I love you, too.” Amazingly, saying four simple words lifted a weight off her chest that had been pressing down on her for months, filling her with guilt among other feelings. With those words hanging in the air, she snuggled up to Michael and fell back to sleep in his arms.

The next morning, Michael awoke to find Sydney waking up just as he did. He smiled at her and combed his fingers through her hair asking in a playful tone, “Less horny this morning?”

“Shut up,” she blushed and shoved him lightly. She then rolled over onto her back and stretched.

Michael propped himself up on his elbow and hovered over her as he slipped his hand under the covers and rested it right below her belly button. He rubbed her stomach gently for a moment before saying, “You’re just starting to get a little bump.”

“Ugh,” Sydney rolled her eyes. “Fa-” but before she could finish her word, Michael cut her off with a kiss.

“Beautiful,” he told her. She smiled at him. “So… was this a one time thing? Or…”

“Or...what?” she questioned. He shrugged. They were having a perfect moment there in his bed and there was no sense in ruining it by saying ‘or marriage’. “Well, for now it’s a one time thing,” she told him. “But I know where to find ya if I ever need you again,” she winked before getting out of bed, leaving him rolling his eyes behind her.



Chapter 22

The second week in June brought Sydney’s next doctor appointment. The evening before her appointment, Sydney called Michael to make sure he knew what time her appointment was, only to find that he was incredibly sick. He had apparently caught a stomach bug or eaten something bad because he was utterly miserable. Sydney then assured him that he didn’t have to go with her to the doctor. He needed his rest and missing one appointment wouldn’t be the end of the world. Michael reluctantly agreed but insisted she stop by after her appointment to give him the ultrasound picture she would receive.

Sydney’s appointment was routine. The doctor asked her questions and answered any that she had before performing the ultrasound. Though that was Sydney’s second ultrasound, that time, she heard something she’d never heard before. “What’s that?” she asked the doctor when the strange noise continued to be emitted by the machine.

“That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” the doctor told her with a smile.

“Oh…,” Sydney said in disbelief as she stared at the grainy screen. It was so strong and comforting in a way that it brought tears to Sydney’s eyes. Laying there on the exam table she felt so guilty for actually being angry when she first found out about her pregnancy. She wasn’t angry about it; she was excited and anxiously looking forward to meeting the new little life growing inside her.

“Would you like to know if it’s a boy or a girl?” the doctor offered with a smile.

“You can tell that?” Sydney asked. The doctor nodded. “No… I mean, not yet. I’ll check with Michael first.”

“Alright, well I’ll put it here in your file if you ever want to know,” the doctor told her. Then, the doctor printed out a copy of the picture displayed on the ultrasound screen and handed it to Sydney. “Baby’s first picture,” the doctor smiled at her.

~*~

“Michael, how are you feeling?” Sydney asked when she walked into Michael’s apartment that evening to find him on his couch in boxers and a t-shirt.

“Eh,” he said. “I managed to eat some crackers for dinner and I’m feeling okay so maybe it was just a twenty-four hour thing.”

“That’s great,” she smiled at him. She slid onto the couch beside him and pulled out the sonogram picture from her purse. Michael took it from her and looked at it with awe. He stared at it for a moment then turned it upside down and cocked his head to the side to look at it again. Finally, when he saw nothing, he turned to her with a helpless look on his face.

“Here,” Sydney laughed. She couldn’t make out the picture very well either, but she repeated what the doctor had said to her.

“Oh okay… I see it,” he told her.

“Do you really?” she asked.

“Nope,” he laughed. “How’s our little bump doing, though?” he asked as he set the picture aside.

Sydney patted her now very slightly rounded belly and said, “Good. The doctor says we can find out if it’s a boy or a girl, if you wanna.”

“Oh…,” Michael said as he moved his hand to rest atop hers on her belly. “Well, I don’t think I wanna know. I want to be surprised.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Sydney agreed. “We’ll be surprised.” She then leaned over and kissed his forehead gently before saying, “Well, I guess I’ll go.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” he told her. “You can stay.”

“You’re well enough for me to sleep over?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“For you to sleep over, yeah,” he said.

“Okay,” she agreed before kissing his forehead again and sliding into a more comfortable position on the couch. Michael then adjusted his own position, resting his head against the side of her body and leaving his one hand lingering on her belly.

~*~

“How goes the pregnancy, Sis?” Nadia asked. Sydney had volunteered to help Nadia take the girls shopping for new shoes and the two of them were walking the mall, pushing Penny and Jenny in their strollers.

“Okay, I guess… I mean, it’s fine, I just…I heard the baby’s heartbeat,” Sydney told her.

Nadia’s face lit up. “Wasn’t it great? Oh, I loved hearing that. Of course with me it was hearing two of them together, so it was amazing,” she sighed happily.

“Yeah, it was amazing,” Sydney agreed. Nadia gave her a questioning look. “Oh, I don’t know… I don’t know! I’m just going crazy, I guess. I feel so bad about being so upset about my pregnancy at first, because now… now I really, really want this baby,” she said, covering her stomach protectively. “And…there’s Michael.”

“What about him? I mean, has anything changed?” Nadia asked.

Sydney looked away briefly before looking back to Nadia and admitting in a guilty tone, “I’ve been sleeping with him.” Nadia’s jaw dropped slightly as she let out a shocked gasp. She then gave her sister a disapproving look. “What?” Sydney said in a defensive tone. “It’s not like I’m gonna get pregnant.”

“That’s not the point,” Nadia told her. “The point is that you’re messing with his emotions – not to mention your own.”

“I know, I know,” Sydney groaned. “But I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to let Michael go, but…,” she let her voice drift off. They’d been through the ‘but’ so many times it was really pointless to do it again.

“Marriage isn’t so bad, you know,” Nadia told her softly after a few moments of silent walking. “It’s actually really, really nice. You get to spend your life with someone who loves you and supports you and even if they drive you a little insane sometimes, it’s okay because it’s part of why you love them.”

Sydney looked down towards the ground, not sure of what to say. “Guess this isn’t the best time to tell you but I’m pregnant,” Nadia said.

“Really?” Sydney gasped.

“Yeah,” Nadia laughed. “After hearing about your baby, Eric started talking about how he really wanted a boy, so we tried and…,” Nadia shrugged with another laugh.

“This is so great!” Sydney exclaimed. “We’re going to be pregnant together!”

“I know,” Nadia laughed. “Eric said if we get another set of twins he’s moving out of the country because that will mean three babies in the family in addition to these two,” Nadia said, gesturing towards the strollers they were pushing.

“True... but this is so exciting,” Sydney said before hugging Nadia tightly.



Chapter 23

To celebrate her pregnancy, Nadia invited Sydney, Michael and her mother over to her house for dinner. This gave Sydney and Nadia’s mother the chance to meet Michael formally for the first time. Their meeting went well even if Michael was ambushed with it slightly (Sydney hadn’t informed him before the dinner that her mother would be there).

A few days after the dinner, Sydney was sitting up in Michael’s bed reading one of her parenting books and waiting for Michael to join her. Before he could, though, he received a phone call. When he hung up, he flopped back on the bed and groaned loudly, “I’m screwed.”

“Why?” Sydney asked, setting her book aside.

“Well, tomorrow’s the last day of school, right? At least for the kids it is. Anyway, we’re having this big party, but we were supposed to have a few parents come in and help. Well, this morning one mother said she couldn’t come, but I was like ‘oh that’s alright, we still have two others coming in’ – wrong. That was another one of the mothers. She can’t come because one of her other children is really sick. Hence, I am screwed,” he explained with another groan.

“You can’t do the party thing without help?” Sydney asked.

“Not really. I was planning on having all these stations for the kids to go to… oh,” he said in a slightly hopeful tone as he sat up. “You’re taking off work tomorrow aren’t you?”

“Why…,” she said suspiciously. He smiled innocently at her. “Michael…”

“Please, please, please, please, please, please,” he repeated as he crawled over to her and began kissing the palm of her hand and then the back of her hand and then all the way up her arm. “It’ll only be until noon and I really, really could use your help. Please?”

“Fine,” she groaned, unable to resist his begging. “What, exactly, will I be doing?”

“A little station where the kids will make pine cone bird feeders to take with them and hang in their backyards this summer,” Michael told her.

“Michael, I’m not crafty; you know I’m not crafty,” Sydney told him.

“Yeah, but it’s real easy. You just gotta roll it in peanut butter and then roll it in the seeds. That’s it. Besides,” he said as he put an arm around her, “this will give you practice for when you do crafts with our baby.”

“Oh no, no, no, no. That’s why it’s our baby. You do crafts with it and I’ll… breast feed it,” she told him.

He laughed. “Yeah, that’s an even trade.”

“Well, it was the only thing I knew I could do off the top of my head,” she laughed.

Michael leaned over and kissed her softly. “You’re gonna have a blast.”

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes, “if the little munchkins don’t kill me first – oh god wait, I have to get up at the asscrack of dawn like you, don’t I?” Michael cringed slightly and nodded. “Fine,” Sydney grumbled as she slid out of bed.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Home. I’m going to get as much sleep as I possibly can including the five minutes I’ll save walking between your apartment and mine,” she told him. He rolled his eyes at her.

~*~

The next morning, Michael drove a very sleepy Sydney with him to work. Instead of wearing her typical business suit (of which she only had two left that fit her, yet she still refused to buy new clothes), Sydney wore a pair of black elastic waist pants with a t-shirt. Michael had warned her that she needed to dress comfortably since she’d be sitting on the floor with the children and of course, she whined at this.

Upon arriving at the school, Michael took Sydney to the office so she could sign in and get a guest pass. She then followed him to his classroom, where she was amazed by all the bulletin boards covered in decorations and informational things. “Did you do all this?” she asked as she began to examine everything.

“Well, I organized it. Obviously some of it is stuff the kids did, but… yeah, I did some,” he told her.

“Impressive,” she smiled at him before walking over to his desk and plopping herself down in Michael’s comfy desk chair.

“You’re stealing my chair?”

“I’m having your baby.”

“Touché,” he laughed. “But I could use your help if you don’t mind. I gotta move some of these tables around before the kids get here.”

They’d just finished arranging the tables when the first of the students arrived. Sydney retreated behind Michael’s desk as she watched them all file in, some with their parents in tow. They were all very excited since it was the last day of school and they were running around the classroom, which made Sydney slightly nervous. The two other parents who would be helping that day walked over to Sydney and introduced themselves, asking who she was. Sydney quickly told them that she was Michael’s girlfriend, wanting to uphold Michael’s good character by not saying, ‘Oh I’m the chick having his baby’.

Once all the students had arrived, Michael collected them all together in the center of the room and introduced the three helpers, including Sydney, to them. He then went on to explain what they would be doing that day. Sydney had an immensely dorky grin on her face the whole time she was watching him speak to the class. Listening to Michael talk about how much he loved his work was one thing, but seeing it first hand was quite another. It was obvious that he reveled in what he did and Sydney couldn’t help but enjoy it by watching him enjoying it so much.

Sydney had to admit that the day wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. True, she had some difficulties with her craft at first, being that the kindergartners were doing it better than she was, but by the end of craft time, she was actually having fun. Though being a teacher was far from being the profession for her, she could certainly see why Michael enjoyed it so much.

At noon, she watched Michael say goodbye to each and every one of his students. Some gave him hugs, others merely waved, but she could tell that each and every goodbye was difficult for him. Finally, when they were the only two people left in the classroom, Sydney walked over to Michael and gave him a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks,” he sighed into her shoulder. “It’s always sad to watch them go.”

“I know,” Sydney smiled at him. “I’m sad and I was only here four hours!”

He laughed. “So you had fun?”

“I had a blast – not that I want to do it again tomorrow,” she assured him.

“Right,” he said, “but I’m glad you had fun.”

Sydney lowered her hands to the tiny bump on her belly before saying, “me too.”



Chapter 24

The week following Sydney’s first day in the kindergarten classroom, she was sitting on her couch watching some late night TV, debating whether or not to go to bed. Once the eleven o’clock news was over, she decided it was time to start getting ready to go to sleep, especially since she could hardly keep her eyes open by that point. She groaned slightly as she sat up; the strange concoction she’d eaten for dinner was really beginning to fight back by way of her digestive tract.

As she was changing into her pajamas after brushing her teeth, she noticed something horribly wrong. Immediately, she reached for her phone and dialed Michael’s number. He answered in a very groggy voice, indicating that he’d been sleeping and her phone call woke him up. “Michael,” Sydney exhaled, her hands beginning to shake.

“Syd, what is it?” Michael mumbled.

“Michael, I’m bleeding,” she said frantically.

“Bleeding? What’d you cut yourself?”

“No, Michael, I’m bleeding,” she said with a slight whimper on the last syllable.

“What?! O-okay, I’ll be right there,” he said. Then, the phone went dead. Sydney tossed it only her bed as she began pacing her apartment, not sure what to do. Two minutes later, Michael came barreling into her apartment, panting and looking wide awake. “What is it? What happened?” he demanded.

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” Sydney whimpered. “I was just watching TV and I went to change into my PJ’s and there was so much blood, Michael,” she cried as she pressed her head into his chest.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said, hugging her tightly. “Come on, we’re going to the hospital.” Sydney grabbed her purse and shoes and followed Michael out the door. He kept his arm around her waist as they walked to his car since she was trembling. They’d barely made it out of the parking lot before Sydney whimpered, sounding like she was in pain as she grabbed onto the door handle.

“What is it?!” Michael asked.

“It really hurts,” she cried as she rubbed her belly with one of her hands.

Michael reached over and rubbed her arm saying, “It’s going to be okay,” though he believed it less and less by the second.

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Sydney was full out crying and Michael’s heart was banging against his rib cage. He helped her out of the car and hurried her inside before rushing up to the admit desk and shouting, “Please help! My girlfriend, she’s pregnant, but she’s bleeding and in pain!”

“Fill out these forms,” the nurse said in a calm voice as she handed Michael a clipboard.

“Aren’t you going to help her?!” he demanded frantically.

“Yes, sir, we are, but you need to fill out these forms,” the nurse told him. Muttering under his breath, Michael snatched the clipboard and tried to fill it out for Sydney as best he could. Once he was done, a nurse wheeled Sydney back to one of the curtain areas. Michael followed and held her hand tightly, only letting go when she began changing into the hospital gown they gave her.

“Michael, I’m really scared,” she whimpered to him.

“I know, baby, I know, but I’m right here,” he told her, grabbing onto her hand and kissing it.

Only a few minutes passed before a doctor walked into their curtain area with an ultrasound machine in tow. “When did the bleeding start?” he asked Sydney in a very factual way.

“I don’t know… but it was sometime after nine,” she told him.

“Have you been in any pain or discomfort?”

“Yeah… I had a stomachache after dinner but I thought that was just because of what I ate… and then when we were driving over here I felt a sharp pain, like menstrual cramps but worse,” she explained to the doctor while gripping Michael’s hand tightly.

After spreading the clear jelly onto Sydney’s stomach, the doctor began using the ultrasound machine. He stared at the screen for almost five minutes while moving the ultrasound probe around on Sydney’s belly. Finally, with a grim expression he announced, “I’m sorry. There’s no sign of the baby or a heartbeat. You’ve had a miscarriage.”

Michael’s heart sank to the pit of his stomach and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, leaning his forehead against Sydney’s as she wailed, “What? No!”

“I’m very sorry, Ms. Bristow. Could you please tell me how far along you were?” the doctor asked.

Sydney simply stared at the doctor, her mouth hanging open slightly. She was too stunned to answer so Michael said hoarsely, “About eighteen weeks.”

“Thank you,” the doctor said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes to continue. In the mean time, you should just try and relax.”

“Michael,” Sydney whimpered once the doctor walked away.

“I know, Syd, I know,” Michael said. He sat down on the edge of the bed beside her and put his arms around her, pulling her body close to his.

“Our baby,” she choked into his shoulder. “Our baby…”

“I know,” Michael said, his voice crackling as tears began to spring to his eyes. Suddenly, in an instant, for the two of them it was all over. All the parenting books they’d read, all the time they spent discussing what they were going to do with the baby, it was all a waste. There wasn’t going to be a baby; not anymore. They wouldn’t be parents together. No longer would Michael be able to secretly hope that having a baby together would change Sydney’s mind about marriage. They were nothing. That was the worst part for him. In one moment, not only had he lost their child, but the fear that he’d lost Sydney as well. The baby was the last thing tying them together; it was the only thing keeping them together. Now that it was gone, so were they.



Chapter 25

For ten minutes, Sydney and Michael held each other as they cried over the loss of their unborn child. Sydney’s whole body was trembling and Michael tried to comfort her as much as possible, knowing that the calmer she stayed the better it would be for her. After those ten minutes passed, a nurse came to take Sydney up to a different floor of the hospital. Once there, doctors and nurses milled around them for hours, doing procedures, taking blood samples and asking questions. Michael stayed with Sydney the whole time, holding her hand, putting an arm around her when her cries started up again, or getting her some more tissues.

Finally, around four a.m., the exhausted pair was finally left alone to rest. Michael managed to catch a few hours sleep in a chair beside Sydney’s bed while Sydney slept a few hours herself. At seven thirty a.m., Michael slipped out of Sydney’s room and called Sydney’s office to tell them she wouldn’t be coming in that day. He left out the part about the miscarriage, not sure of how many people in Sydney’s office even knew she was pregnant. When he went back into Sydney’s room after making the call, he found her awake. “Hey,” he said softly. Sydney said nothing, but she looked at him. “How are you feeling?” he asked. She merely shrugged in response. “I called your office to tell them you weren’t coming in,” he told her.

“Thanks,” she said hoarsely. “What time is it?”

“Almost eight.”

“I-I need to call my dad… I was supposed to have a phone conference with him at eight-thirty,” Sydney said as she groped for the phone beside her bed. Michael handed it to her and held it as close to her as it would reach so she could dial her father’s number. He was surprised at how stoic Sydney was when explaining to her father that she was in the hospital and that she had lost her baby. Only a few tears fell before she hung the phone back up. “He sends us his condolences,” Sydney told Michael.

Michael simply nodded before asking, “Do you want me to call Nadia?”

“No,” Sydney shook her head. “Don’t bother her.”

“Sydney, she should know,” Michael told her. “What if she tries to call your work and they tell her you’re in the hospital; she’ll have a heart attack.”

“Good point,” Sydney sighed. “Yeah, okay, you can call her.”

Michael nodded before picking up the phone once more. Of course he didn’t remember Nadia’s phone number, so he had to ask Sydney for it, but once he got it he dialed. Nadia answered after only two rings, but he could hear one of the girls screeching in the background. Michael explained their situation at which point Nadia began to cry. This made Michael intensely uncomfortable, but he tried to calm her as much as he could before hanging up. “She said she’d come, but she can’t leave until someone comes to watch the girls,” Michael told her.

“It’s okay, she doesn’t have to,” Sydney sighed as she leaned back against the pillow behind her and shut her eyes.

“I’m… I’m gonna get some coffee, okay? Do you want anything?” Michael asked. Sydney shook her head silently. He then gave her a soft smile before leaving.

Michael stayed away from Sydney’s room much longer than he should have. He wandered the halls of the hospital, sipping on his coffee and avoiding going back. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take just sitting in the chair beside Sydney, waiting for it all to end. It was too much at once: losing her and the baby. When he did return to her room, he arrived just as the doctor was leaving. “How is she?” Michael asked.

“She’s doing just fine,” the doctor said. “She should be able to go home by later this afternoon.”

“Good,” Michael nodded. “Do…do you know what caused this?”

The doctor shook his head. “She didn’t have any abdominal trauma and she’s in perfect health. Sometimes these things just happen,” he said. Then, he walked away.

When Michael walked into Sydney’s room, he found her curled up on her side with her back towards the door. He walked over to her and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “The doctor says you can go home later; that’s good,” Michael said as he walked around her bed so he could look at her.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “You can leave, you know. You don’t have to stay.”

“But I want to,” he assured her. “Besides, what else am I gonna do? It’s not like I have a job to go to,” he said in a playful way, trying to lighten the mood. Just the previous day Sydney had been complaining to Michael about having to work while he got the summers off.

“That’s true,” Sydney said softly as the corners of her lips turned up ever so slightly. Michael smiled back at her before he kissed her forehead.

~*~

After spending a long, boring day in the hospital, Sydney was finally able to go home. The doctors instructed her that she needed to spend at least one more day in bed, though and could stand for no more than five minutes at a time only a few times a day. Sydney, of course, complained about this, but Michael assured the doctor’s she’d do as they asked, even if he had to tie her down.

The atmosphere in Michael’s car was very somber on the way home. Michael was just waiting for Sydney to flat out tell him to go away since they were essentially nothing anymore. When they arrived at their apartment complex, Michael insisted on carrying Sydney to her apartment. She was walking slow and at that pace it would take her more than five minutes to get to her apartment. As a compromise, Michel carried her halfway and let her walk up the stairs to her apartment by herself, mostly because she threatened him.

“Michael, seriously, I’m fine. Nadia’s coming over in like fifteen minutes anyway,” Sydney told him as he tucked her into bed. “You look exhausted; please go home and get some rest.”

“Okay,” Michael swallowed hard as the ache in his heart grew stronger. “I guess I’ll… I’ll see you around then.”

“Wait,” Sydney stopped him before he could take two steps away. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means… I don’t know… it means what it means,” he shrugged.

“What it means is you…you’re just leaving me? Like…like this all meant nothing?” she asked with tears in her eyes. She went to stand up but Michael forced her back down.

“You need to lie down,” he said.

“But… but, did the last few weeks mean nothing to you?” she asked tearfully.

“No, Sydney, no. They meant everything but… but we’re right back where we started. I want to get married, I want a family and you…,” he let his voice drift off.

“But,” Sydney said in a quiet voice as she lowered her eyes to her lap, “what if I want you?”

Michael couldn’t help but wince at the ache in his heart. “Sydney-”

“No, Michael, listen. I… I’ve let this fear control my life for so long and I’m sick of it. It’s just gotten so bad I didn’t know what to do. I’ve let it stop me from the things I really want. You know what I really want Michael? I want a baby. When I heard the heartbeat the other week I was just… I was just so amazed and I wanted one – a baby with you,” she told him, finally raising her eyes back to his.

“You’re right… I’m scared. I’m really scared to get married. I’m scared that it’ll just end up like my parents marriage did, but… but I’m more scared of losing you. I love you, Michael; I love you so much…I… I don’t want to be without you because that’s scarier than anything so…so if you want to get married, I’ll marry you, I will, just please, please don’t leave me, please,” she cried.

“Sydney,” Michael exhaled as he reached over to brush away the tears pouring down her face. “Are you sure? Are you sure this is what you want?”

Sydney nodded. “I’m sure I want you.”

“Oh Syd,” Michael sighed, pulling her into a tight hug. She cried onto his shoulder as they held each other for a few minutes before Michael pulled back and gave her a sweet kiss. “I love you, Syd.”

She gave him a soft smile before kissing him once more. “I was serious, you know. You look like a wreck. Go home, shower, change; I promise I won’t get out of bed.”

“You sure?” he asked.

Sydney nodded. “Besides, Nadia’s going to be here in like… less than ten minutes now,” she said, glancing at the clock.

“Okay,” he said. Then he kissed her once more before saying, “I’ll be back,” and leaving her apartment with a smile on his face.



Chapter 26

Only a few minutes after Michael left, Nadia came barreling through Sydney’s apartment door and rushed back into her sister’s bedroom. “Oh my god Honey, I’m so sorry,” Nadia sniffed as she flung herself down on her sister, giving her a tight hug. “I am so, so, sorry. How are you feeling? Are you okay? Can I get you anything?”

“Nadia, I’m fine,” Sydney sighed, trying to shove her sister off.

“You’re not fine! You just lost a baby!” Nadia wailed before hugging Sydney once more. Sydney patted her back helplessly, knowing it was her sister’s own pregnancy causing her to act so overly emotional. “How can you be fine?”

“Because,” Sydney sighed, “even though this is sad, I’m thinking about the future. Michael and I are getting married,” she told her sister with a smile.

“Oh Sydney,” Nadia sniffed. “Honey, did they give you drugs at the hospital that are making you hallucinate?”

“No, Nadia,” Sydney groaned. “I’m not hallucinating. We’re really getting married. I love Michael and I want to be with him.”

A smile broke across Nadia’s face as she wiped away her tears. “You’re getting married!”

“Yeah,” Sydney laughed. “I mean, I’m still completely terrified but-”

“Oh it’ll be fine,” Nadia assured her. “I mean look at Eric and I. We’ve been married for over six years and that seemed pretty unlikely when we got married and I was practically dragging Eric down the aisle kicking and screaming, right?”

“Right,” Sydney laughed.

“You’re gonna be so happy, Syd,” Nadia smiled at her.

“Yeah,” Sydney smiled back, “I think I am.”

The sisters chatted together for almost half an hour before Michael returned. When he walked into Sydney’s bedroom, Nadia practically tackled him with a hug. Then she announced that she was leaving, but Sydney could call her at any time if she needed something. “So, being pregnant makes her crazier than usual, huh?” Michael laughed softly as he sat down beside Sydney on the bed.

“Oh god… imagine if you will, her eight months pregnant with twins. She was practically crying and freaking out non-stop. It’s a miracle we all survived,” Sydney told him seriously. Michael laughed slightly and nodded, that was something he feared just the thought of. He then switched on the lamp beside Sydney’s bed before walking over and shutting off the overhead light to her bedroom. After taking off his jeans he slipped in bed beside her. Even though it was barely seven o’clock, the two of them had been up for essentially forty-eight hours, not to mention the incredible emotional drain they’d been through during that time; sleep was imperative.

Once in bed, Michael kissed Sydney gently and wrapped his arms around her sighing, “I love you,” into the top of her head.

“I love you, too,” she told him with a soft smile.

He smiled back at her and brushed a few strands of hair out of her face. “Have you ever said that to anyone before?” he asked her softly, though he suspected he already knew the answer.

She lowered her eyes to look down towards her feet before admitting quietly, “No.”

“Have you ever been in love before?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, once,” she told him. “This no marriage rule I made for myself sorta prohibited me from having any long-term relationships. Without the long term, it’s kinda hard to love… besides, I didn’t want to be in love. Loving someone meant letting them in and that meant that they could hurt you,” she rationalized to him.

“I would never, ever hurt you,” Michael assured her softly.

“I know you wouldn’t,” she told him. “But it’s still going to take me some time to, you know, get used to everything.”

“Of course,” he told her. “I’m not going anywhere; take all the time you need.” She smiled softly at him and then gave him a long kiss. Once she broke their kiss, she turned off the light beside them and then snuggled up in his arms to fall asleep.

~*~

The next morning, Michael awoke feeling happier than he’d been in quite some time. Though the sadness of losing the baby still hung over him, it was overtaken by the happiness of breaking down of the huge anti-marriage barrier surrounding Sydney. The knowledge that they would some day be joined as husband and wife helped him look forward to their future when they would get pregnant again and have a baby to raise together. Even though it was after eight in the morning, Michael was still too exhausted to get up, so he rolled over onto his stomach and tried to fall back asleep.

When Sydney awoke, she noticed that Michael was still fast asleep beside her, his head smashed down into his pillow. This sight made her smile softly. The thought of being able to wake up beside him every day for the rest of her life gave her a warm feeling all the way down to her toes. Before meeting Michael, she would have never imagined she actually wanting that, yet with him, she did, more than anything.

“Morning,” she smiled at Michael when she felt him stretching his legs and thus bumping into hers.

“Morning,” he mumbled through a yawn. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ll be in need of a blood transfusion by nightfall…but okay,” she told him.

“Good to know; I’ll keep the hospital on speed dial,” Michael smiled at her. Then he leaned over and gave her a kiss. “I’m gonna go, shower, change, et cetera – do you need anything? Movies? Junk food? Porn?”

“Porn?” she laughed. He shrugged. “Well actually, as long as you’re volunteering I could use something…”

Michael’s face fell at her extra innocent tone. “You’re gonna make me buy girl products, aren’t you?”

“Please?” she smiled at him. “Otherwise I’ll have to call Nadia since I still can’t move.”

“Fine,” Michael sighed, “I’ll go… might as well get used to it, right? I have a feeling this isn’t the last time you’ll be sending me for such items.”

Sydney reached over and patted his face gently. “Smart man.”



Chapter 27

When Michael returned to Sydney’s apartment, it was almost noon. He walked inside juggling grocery bags and the take out containers that held their lunch, to find Sydney lying down on her couch. He immediately gave her a stern ‘You’re supposed to be on bed rest’ look. “What?!” she said in defense. “I’m lying down and it took me less than five minutes to walk here.”

“Alright, alright. I bought you food,” he said, raising up the take-out containers.

“Oh good, thanks. You know what I forgot to ask you for when you left? A humongous bag of chocolate,” she sighed.

Michael set the grocery bag down on the kitchen table and pulled out a bag of Hershey’s kisses and a bag of mini Milky Way bars, which he knew to be her favorite candy. “Way ahead of ya, Babe,” he smiled, holding them up.

“Oh I love you!” she told him.

“Of course you do,” Michael smiled. He retrieved the necessary utensils for Sydney to eat her dinner from the kitchen before walking over to the couch where she was laying down. He handed her the lunch he bought her, along with the utensils and put the bag of Milky Ways in her lap before going to retrieve his own lunch.

“Thank you… you know, I should be put on bed rest more often,” Sydney smiled at him. “It’s fun having you as my slave.”

“I’m sure it is,” he laughed, “but you know you’d go insane if this ‘can’t stand for more than five minutes’ rule continued too much longer.”

“True,” Sydney sighed. They ate their meals in silence for a few minutes before Sydney noticed the pregnancy book open on the table beside her. “Oh,” she sighed as she reached over and picked it up. “I guess I should put these away, huh?”

“Only temporarily,” Michael told her with a smile. She smiled back at him before setting the book back on the table. “So, what’s your plan for this week? You’re not going back to work until next Monday, right?”

“Michael, I can’t. I have to go in tomorrow,” she told him.

“Sydney, you have to take care of yourself,” Michael told her.

“I am. I feel fine, just a little tired. I’ve already missed two days of work – do you know how much I’ll have to do when I go back?!”

“Yes, I realize you’re the greatest and most dedicated lawyer in the world,” Michael told her; she smiled softly. “But I just don’t want you getting sick. How about half a day tomorrow?”

“Fine,” she groaned in submission. “But I’m going in for the full day on Friday!”

Michael shook his head and laughed softly at her. “You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“Eh, it’s my worst flaw,” she sighed.

“One of them,” he told her with a playful smile. She made a face at him before throwing her bag of Milky Way bars at his head. He caught it and said proudly, “Ooo thanks; these are mine now, by the way.”

“Noooo, give ‘em back,” she whined.

“But you threw them at me!”

“Because you insulted me, you Butthead!” she retorted.

“Ah, what a loving relationship we have,” Michael sighed in a fake dreamy tone.

~*~

The following day when Sydney went to work for her half day, she nearly shot Michael since he called her every hour on the hour to make sure she was feeling alright. When she came home, she threatened him with death if he did that again the following day. He managed to call only once the next day, but refused to spend the night or evening apart from her, fearing she would actually bleed to death.

By Sunday, a mere five days after her miscarriage, Sydney was feeling almost one hundred percent back to her old self. She felt well enough to drag Michael out of the house with her to the mall to do some window shopping. She couldn’t stand being in the tiny cramped space of her apartment with him hovering around her asking if she needed anything every few minutes. She knew his concern was coming from a good place and that he meant well by it, but she was ready to strangle him.

As the next week wore on, things went back to normal. Normal, of course, being Michael sitting in front of his or Sydney’s TV all day long while Sydney went off to work. She made fun of him for this, but he assured her he was taking a well deserved vacation from having to spend five hectic days a week with two dozen five-year-olds. Sydney had to admit she couldn’t really disagree with him there; his vacation was definitely well deserved.

On Wednesday, a week and a day after her miscarriage, Sydney had an appointment with her doctor as a follow up to being in the hospital. When she arrived home from it, Michael was in her apartment making them dinner. “So, how’d it go?” he asked her, concern evident in his voice.

“Clean bill of health,” Sydney smiled at him. “The doctor said she didn’t see why I couldn’t get pregnant again either. She said I should wait at least two months before trying again though.”

Michael smiled at her. “That implies that you will be trying again, doesn’t it?”

“No,” Sydney said as she walked over and put her arms around him, “that implies that we will be trying again.”

“Well, I like the sound of that,” Michael said before he leaned over and kissed her. “Oh speaking of I, uh, got you something at the store,” he told her. She gave him a curious look so he walked over to the black bag that was sitting on the kitchen counter. From it, he removed a small object before walking back over to her and holding it out to her in the palm of his hand.

Sydney looked down curiously at the black box that was obviously a jewelry case, before looking back up to Michael, a questioning look in her eyes. “I figured,” he paused to open up the ring box, “we should make it official. Sydney, I love you and I’ve been waiting my whole life to find someone like you, someone I could spend the rest of my life with and have a family with. I’ve known that person was you for quite some time and I’m thrilled that you changed your mind and now hopefully feel the same way about me. So,” he paused to get down on one knee in front of her, “will you marry me?”

Sydney’s heart fluttered rapidly as she sighed, “Yeah, I will.”

Michael grinned as he slid the ring onto her left ring finger. Then he stood, kissed her and pulled her into a hug. “I can’t wait ‘til we’re married,” he sighed.

“Yeah, me neither…,” Sydney said in return, only she didn’t quite sound as sure as he did.



Chapter 28

On Saturday morning, Sydney went over to hang out with Nadia and the twins while Michael and Eric spent some ‘guy time’ together playing basketball in the park. “So, how are you guys doing?” Sydney asked referring to Nadia and the tiny baby bump she patted after giving Nadia a hug.

“Oh, well,” Nadia sighed, stroking her belly, “us girls are doing just fine?”

“Girls?” Sydney asked, almost laughing.

“Yep, another girl,” Nadia laughed.

“Oh poor Eric,” Sydney said sympathetically.

“I know….I think he almost cried.”

Sydney laughed softly. “Well then, I guess it’s good I’m not having my baby,” she said. When Nadia gave her a confused look she clarified, “It was a boy.”

“I thought you guys didn’t find out,” Nadia said with confusion.

“No, we were gonna wait, but then when I went back for my follow up appointment I asked; the curiosity was killing me,” she shrugged slightly.

“Oh Syd,” Nadia said, giving her another hug, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, really; I’m fine,” Sydney assured her. Then she walked into the other room to greet her nieces. She played with them for about half an hour before they grew bored and retreated to the television, at which point Sydney walked over to help Nadia fold laundry.

“What’s with you, Syd?” Nadia asked. “You seem… jumpy.”

“Well, I’m kinda freaking out about something now that you mention it…,” Sydney said. Nadia gave her a curious look and Sydney held up her left hand, which held the engagement ring Michael had given her.

Nadia let out a squeal as she examined the ring closer. “Oh Sydney, it’s gorgeous. When did he give it to you?”

“Two days ago,” Sydney said with a slight whine.

“What’s the matter? You’re not freaking out over this are you?” Nadia asked. Sydney nodded sheepishly. “What?! Why?! You’re the one who said you wanted to marry Michael.”

“I know, I know,” Sydney sighed, rubbing her forehead. “But now… now I don’t know. I mean it’s marriage. I can’t just go from being completely against it to completely for it overnight.”

“True,” Nadia said with a head nod. “But I think I know something that will help you.”

After this comment, Sydney expected Nadia to say or do something, but she did nothing at all; she merely continued to fold her laundry as if nothing happened. “Okay…,” Sydney said slowly.

“Oh,” Nadia looked up at her and smiled, “you’ll see.” Sydney gave her a suspicious look, but Nadia said nothing more. Sydney was beginning to feel concerned about what, exactly, her sister was talking about until she found her answer. Only ten minutes later, their mother showed up and immediately pulled Sydney into a smothering hug.

“Why didn’t you call me! You should have called me! I would have come right away!” her mother said.

“It’s fine, Mom,” Sydney sighed while thinking that was the exact reason why she hadn’t called her mother.

“Are you sure?” her mother asked. Sydney nodded.

“Michael proposed to Sydney, she said yes, but now she’s chickening out because she’s so afraid of marriage,” Nadia summarized the situation for her mother. Sydney turned around and glared at her, but Nadia was unfazed.

“Sydney! Why are you so afraid of marriage? Marriage is a wonderful thing,” her mother told her.

“Funny you should say that, Mom,” Sydney sighed as she walked over to Nadia’s kitchen table and flopped down in one of the chairs.

“Alright, so your father and I weren’t really the best models for marriage, but look at your sister and Eric or your grandparents – they were married for forty years!” her mother told her.

“Yeah, way back in, like, the 1900’s. Do you know what the divorce rate is these days?!”

“See,” her mother said, shaking her head, “I knew you shouldn’t have become a divorce lawyer like your father. It poisons you.”

“I’m not poisoned,” Sydney defended.

“Uh, yeah, ya kinda are,” Nadia told her.

“The truth is Sydney, some people just shouldn’t get married and your father and I are good examples of that. I didn’t like his excessive work hours before we were married, but I married him anyway. Believe it or not we did have a few good years, especially when you two were younger, but even then, we still fought.”

“Michael and I fight,” Sydney said quietly.

“No, you argue; there’s a difference,” her mother said. Sydney looked up at her, obviously not seeing one. “The bottom line is, marriage is a leap of faith, one you have to be willing to take knowing that the other person is right for you.”

Sydney looked down at the engagement ring on her hand and asked quietly, “What if I’m not willing to take it?”

“I think you are,” her mother said, “but you really should talk to Michael about this.” Sydney grumbled, knowing her mother was right (and hating it), but not looking forward to that conversation at all.

~*~

“Hey, can we talk about something?” Sydney asked Michael later that afternoon, knowing if she didn’t do it then, she’d keep chickening out. Michael looked up at her and nodded. “Well…see…I’ve kinda been freaking out about being engaged…,” she said with a slight cringe.

“Freaking out how?” Michael asked. Sydney explained to him the fears she still had about divorce and what her mother and Nadia had told her that afternoon. “Well,” Michael sighed. “Your mother is right; marriage is a leap of faith.”

“I know, I hate it when she’s right,” Sydney groaned.

Michael couldn’t help but laugh softly. He slid over on the couch beside her and took her hands in his. “So the question is – are you ready to jump?”

Sydney looked down at their intertwined hands for a moment before saying, “Yeah, I think I am. I mean, I really, really want to be with you and I feel like, you know, we’re a good match and… yeah, yeah I am,” she smiled.

Michael leaned over and kissed her. “Good, I’m glad to hear it.” He then relaxed back on the couch and pulled Sydney with him with his arm around her back.

“You know, I think we should get married in September, like towards the end,” Sydney told him.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think this whole thing will seem more real to me if we start to plan… plus, it’ll stop me from freaking out about it… I hope,” she laughed.

“I’d love to get married in September,” Michael smiled at her.

“Good… and then maybe we can start trying for a baby right away,” she said with a hopeful smile.

“If you want,” he said with a slight laugh.

“Yeah, I want,” she grinned. Then she leaned over and gave him a long kiss. “Thank you… for changing my mind about all this.”

“Well you,” he sighed as he hugged her a bit tighter, “are very, very welcome.”



Epilogue

“Syd, she’s perfect,” Michael said softly as he cradled his brand new baby girl. She curled her tiny little fist around his index finger and Michael’s heart melted all over again.

“Well enjoy her,” Sydney sighed with her eyes closed as she tried to rest. “She’s the last; no more babies. We’ll turn into Nadia and Eric,” Sydney said. She, of course, was referring to the fact that due to Eric’s wish to have a son after having three daughters, Nadia reluctantly agreed. Unfortunately for her, she became pregnant with twins. The bright side was that they were identical twin boys, but the down side was that that meant they ended up with five children.

“Oh, I think we’ve got a while to go before we get to them,” Michael laughed.

A knock on Sydney’s hospital door interrupted their soft laughs. Michael looked towards the door just as nine-year-old Penny stuck her head in. “Uncle Mike, Will’s driving us crazy out here; he wants to see his little sister.”

“You can bring him in,” Michael said with a soft laugh. His four-year-old son had been even more excited than he at the prospect of a little baby sister, which surprised everyone, including his parents.

A moment later, Will walked inside, gripping onto Penny’s hand until he caught sight of his father, at which point he ran over and hugged him around the knees. “Hey buddy, hold on,” Michael said. Using his free arm he lifted Will up to sit on the edge of Sydney’s hospital bed. Then, he crouched down so that Will could see into the bundle of blankets he held. “Look Will, this is your sister.”

Cautiously, Will reached his hand over and touched the baby’s hand. “What’s her name?” Will asked.

“She doesn’t have one yet. Your mother is still deciding,” Michael said with a slight eye roll towards his wife.

“It’s an important decision! I’ve narrowed it down to two,” Sydney sighed.

“Which two?” Will asked.

“Megan or Charlotte,” Sydney told him.

Will grimaced at the second name. “Megan,” he said.

“I think I’d have to agree,” Michael told her.

Sydney opened her eyes and reached out for the bundle of blankets that held their child. Michael passed the baby back to her and Sydney sighed. “You really think she looks like a Megan?”

“I do,” Michael smiled.

“Okay, Megan it is then,” Sydney smiled.

Michael leaned down and kissed her and then kissed the forehead of his little girl. “It’s perfect,” he sighed.

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