Broken

Author: Janet (SkyGirl5)

Genre: S/V, AU

Summary: Michael Vaughn, therapist, runs into a very peculiar patient sitting on the doorstep to a home for runaway girls where he works. Realizing this woman needs help, he dives right in and tries to break down her protective walls, but he soon finds himself falling for her.

Disclaimer: Sydney, Vaughn, etc are properties of JJ Abrams and ABC.

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Chapters 1-10 // Chapters 11 - 20 + Epilogue

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Chapter 11

For the next few weeks, Sydney continued to talk things through with Michael. After each talk, she felt better and better. It was like she had been trapped in a solid concrete box with all her past ghosts haunting her constantly, but slowly, together, they were chipping away at it and letting some light filter in. In addition to their talks making her feel better, Michael himself and simply being around him was brightening her mood. She loved just being around him, sharing meals with him, having the smell of his aftershave on her clothes after they had hugged.

Michael too enjoyed having Sydney around and, for possibly the first time in his short career as a therapist, he truly felt like he was helping someone make themselves better, for it was evident that Sydney was getting better. Her nightmares grew more and more infrequent to the point where she hardly ever had any anymore. She also wasn’t as skittish when they went out in public. At first, noises would make her jump and strange people would cause her to tense up and recoil tightly against Michael, but she was relaxing more as time went on.

By the middle of November, Michael thought that he had pretty much found out everything about Sydney between the time she left home and the time she showed up at Sarah’s Home. Not all the little details, of course, but the general points. Sydney was slowly beginning to understand that she couldn’t change her past, she simply had to move on from it and not let it affect her.

In addition to that, Sydney and Michael’s relationship was… Well, it was something. Michael, though concerned his feelings were just manifestations of simply wanting to help her at first, knew without any doubt he was truly in love with her. Yet he hid his feelings the best he could, not wanting to take advantage of her in such a vulnerable situation and knowing that ‘dating’ while living together was a horrible idea. Sydney too realized that her feelings for Michael were real, but she was afraid that he wouldn’t want to be with her since she was so ‘damaged’, or so she thought.

As the holidays grew nearer, Michael began thinking more seriously about an idea that he’d had for a while. Sydney needed to see her father, but he wasn’t sure if she would go for it. He had looked her father up through the internet and found that he still lived at the same address he had when he had reported Sydney missing four years earlier. So, one evening he cautiously brought it up to her, hoping for the best.

“Syd… I was thinking… you know it’s getting closer to Thanksgiving… and do you think you might want to go and see your father?” he asked cautiously.

Immediately her cheerful expression disappeared and she turned away from him. “He won’t see me… he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you; he loves you. He’s your father.”

“But I left him! I ruined his life!” she said tearfully.

“You did not ruin anything, Sydney. Plus, it’s part of the healing process. Look, you know I’d never, ever force you to do anything, I just think it’s a good idea,” he told her honestly.

She was quite for a few moments as she paced around his apartment. “I… would you come with me?”

He nodded. “Of course, if you want me to.”

“Yes, please come,” she almost begged him.

“Okay,” he agreed with a smile. “When do you want to go? This weekend?”

“Um… yeah, okay,” she nodded slowly.

~*~

That Saturday, when driving to Sydney’s father’s house, she was trembling the whole time. She was so nervous she was convinced she would throw up the second the car stopped. When they parked in front of her former home, she had a panic attack and started hyperventilating.

“You’re okay, Syd,” Michael tried to calm her down as he gave her a bottle of water to sip gently.

“He’s going to slam the door in my face,” she sobbed.

“No. No he’s not,” Michael assured her. “Syd, you don’t have to go in, we can drive away…”

“No,” she said quickly as she reached for the car door handle.

“You want me to wait here?” he asked. She nodded slowly and got out of the car, still trembling. It took her a few moments to actually be able to walk, but slowly she walked up her old driveway and down the cobblestone walk to the front door of the ranch home she lived in her entire life. With a trembling hand, she reached out for the doorbell. She pulled back once, but the second time she pressed it. Her breath hitched in her chest and she was sure her heart would explode it was beating so fast, but she managed to stand there without her legs buckling beneath her.

When her father opened the door, he was speechless and ghost white. “H-Hi Daddy,” she managed in a very quiet voice tears already falling down her cheeks and her chin quivering as she tried to find another word to say. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry,” she choked finally.

For a solid, painful and agonizing two minutes, her father said nothing. He simply stared at her, his mouth gone dry, amazed at how she had changed and grown from a gangly, broken teenager, to an amazing woman. “Sydney…,” he croaked finally. “Sydney, is it really you?” he asked, his voice haunted. She nodded and brushed some tears from her cheeks with her fingertips. In one swift motion, he stepped forward and pulled his only daughter into a tight hug. She cried on his shoulder and clung to him tightly, never wanting to let go again.



Chapter 12

Sydney and her father held each other in the doorway for five full minutes before they loosened their grip. Her father pulled her inside the house and shut the door behind them since it was rather chilly outside. The first thing he asked was, “Sydney, where have you been?”

“A bunch of places,” she sighed. “But mostly in LA… on the streets…”

“STREETS!?” he gasped, horrified. “Sydney, why didn’t you come home?”

“I was scared,” she sobbed.

“Scared of what?” he asked.

“Them! What they’d do!” she shouted. Realizing that she was confusing her father to death she sighed, “I’m sorry… I borrowed money from this man… and he used that and held it over my head to force me to run errands for him and… and he threatened me... he found me wherever I hid from him, so I knew that if I came home he’d find me here too.”

“Oh Sydney,” her father sighed as he pulled his daughter into another hug. “Why didn’t you come home in the first place? Why did you ever leave?”

“I don’t know… I was so scared… and I just… I hated it here because everything reminded me of Mom… and then once I left, I thought I couldn’t come back because you’d hate me!” she cried.

“Sweetheart, I could never hate you; I love you,” he told her.

“I know… I was just scared,” she sniffed.

“Well, what about now? Is this character still after you?” he asked her.

Sydney shook her head. “I don’t think so… I ran away from him about a year ago… and then in February I went to this place. It was a home for teenage runaways… and I lied about my age and they helped me get a job and now I’m going to be in nursing school in the spring,” she told him as she rubbed away her tears with her sleeves.

“That’s wonderful,” he said.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I couldn’t have done it without Michael though.”

“Michael?” he asked.

“Yes, he was a therapist I met… and he helped me but then he went away because he was helping me while he was in medical school last spring, but then he graduated and took another job… but about two months ago we met up again and now I live on his couch because the other place I was living there was this girl who was a crack dealer and Michael wouldn’t let me stay there,” she laughed softly at how ridiculous that sounded.

“I should hope not!” her father explained, now completely sick from horror at the conditions his daughter had been living in.

“Yeah… so I’m staying with him, but I feel bad I mean… I’m just on his couch,” she laughed.

“Sweetheart, why don’t you move home, please?” Jack asked her.

“Are you sure?” she asked cautiously.

“YES!” he said enthusiastically. “I mean, yes please, I want you to be here again.”

“Okay,” she smiled. “Thanks Dad.”

Her father reached out and stroked her cheek softly. “Oh, how I’ve missed your smile.” Sydney blushed softly and looked down. “So how did you get here? Can we go get your things now?” he asked, eager to have his daughter back home.

“Well, Michael drove me… he’s waiting in the car,” she gestured towards the front of the house.

“My goodness. Well, bring him inside, I’d like to meet this man!” he exclaimed.

“Alright,” Sydney laughed softly before turning and walking out the front door. She walked out to Michael’s car and found him leafing through some papers in his lap and she knocked on his car window. Michael jumped slightly at the surprise of her knocking, but then he unlocked the door. Sydney opened it and smiled, “Come inside, my dad wants to meet you.”

“Okay,” Michael said as he put his papers aside and climbed out of his car. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” she smiled at him. “He wants me to move home.”

“Syd, that’s great,” he told her. She pulled him into the house and introduced him to her father, who was positively beaming. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Bristow, sir.”

“Please call me Jack,” Jack said. “And I cannot thank you enough Michael, for helping my daughter.”

“It was my pleasure, I assure you,” Michael said with a soft smile towards Sydney. She smiled back and Jack noticed.

“So, what kind of therapist are you exactly?” her father asked.

“Psychiatrist,” Michael told him.

“Oh, so you’re a doctor then?” Jack asked, sounding very impressed.

“Yeah, but I don’t use the doctor title… well, my mom does when she talks to all her friends but...,” he laughed. Jack nodded with a small smile.

The three of them talked together for a few more minutes before Sydney and Michael left to go and retrieve her belongings, then bring them to Jack’s house before the three of them would have dinner together. As they were driving, Michael began to feel sad. After getting used to seeing Sydney every day for nearly two months, he wasn’t going to be able to do that anymore. True, he was happy that she had finally reunited with her father and he was ecstatic at the progress she had made, but he was sad nonetheless. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe their relationship would end though; they were too close as friends. He only wondered if they could ever be anything more.

As Sydney folded up her clothes and neatly placed them in her duffle bag, she kept glancing over at Michael, who was sulking as he sipped a cup of coffee while sitting at the kitchen counter. She wanted to go and live with her father, but part of her wanted to stay with Michael and another part of her wanted to choke him for being so dense.

Finally, feeling extraordinarily brave, she walked over to him and sighed exasperatedly, “Damn it, Michael! Would you just kiss me already?!”

Michael was so stunned he nearly spilt his cup off coffee as he stupidly fell off his stool and stumbled. “W-What?” he stammered.

“It’s just,” she sighed. “I mean… there’s something here, right? Please, don’t tell me I’ve just made it up and thus made a fool of myself…,” she said in a worried tone, turning slightly pink.

“No…I just… I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries,” he said timidly as he took a step forward.

She took a step forward so that their toes were nearly touching as they stood. “No overstepped boundaries….,” she sighed as she leaned in. Michael leaned in as well. They met halfway, their lips pressing together softly, but only for a moment before Michael’s hands shot to her waist and pulled her in close for a more passionate kiss as she locked her arms around his neck.

“I… wow,” she sighed when they broke and tingles were still running through her body. In all her life she had never felt as perfect as she did right there. In fact, that kiss had nearly made up for the previous four years worth of hell.

“Uh huh,” he sighed as he cupped her face gently with his hands.

“Do you still love me, Michael? I mean…. Did you?” she asked softly.

“I love you even more now,” he told her quietly. “You?”

“Ditto,” she sighed before kissing him again.



Chapter 13

“Sydney…we… really should… stop… this,” Michael said in between kisses as Sydney had him practically backed up against the kitchen counter.

“Why?” she asked breathlessly.

“Because,” he sighed as he pushed her away long enough to breath and say more than one syllable. “For starters, we have to go back to your father’s.”

“Ohh,” Sydney groaned. “But this is new… and fun,” she smiled before diving on his lips once more.

She gave Michael a searing kiss so he didn’t bother pulling back for a moment, but finally he did and he croaked with a tiny squeak, “I-I agree.” She grinned at his squeak. “But we still shouldn’t go too fast too soon. We need to take it slow.”

“You’re right,” she sighed. She knew this was the case all along, she had just allowed herself to forget it momentarily while she got lost in the feel of their lips together. “So um…,” she sighed as she ran her hands down his chest. “Are we… are we going to try us?”

“That depends… do you want to try us?” he asked her. She bit her lip slightly and nodded. “Good,” he sighed. “Me too.” She grinned and hugged him tightly.

“You wanna go out on a date Saturday night?” he asked her while they hugged.

“Uh huh,” she nodded with a huge smile. “I haven’t been on a date… since high school!”

He laughed softy. “That’s horrible and I need to save you from that immediately.

“Well, I’m not gonna complain,” she laughed softly.

“Alright, alright,” he sighed. “You got all your stuff packed up?”

“Yep,” she smiled. “Let’s go.”

~*~

“So Michael, tell me, what made you want to become a therapist?” Jack asked him over dinner. Sydney nodded encouragingly at him, wondering the same thing.

“Well,” he laughed softly. “It’s sort of funny… See, ever since I was a little kid I wanted to be a doctor. I said I wanted to cure everybody of everything… especially after my father died. I didn’t realize that he had died because of the alcohol he inflicted on himself… I just wanted to fix people… that was until I had my first real med-school-ish class when I was still an undergrad. They took us to watch autopsies and… well, let’s just say I don’t remember much,” he laughed.

“Fainted?” Sydney asked.

“Oh yeah. I went right down,” he laughed.

“Oh no!” Sydney laughed. Even her father chuckled.

“Well, they had a drawer of heads!! I mean, literally, there was a drawer labeled ‘heads’ and there were heads in it. Someone opened it… that’s the last thing I remember until I was being dragged out of the room. It was bad,” he sighed.

“So, how’d you decide on therapy?” she asked.

“Well… I still wanted to do something like that and I was good at it, the book stuff anyway, so I just…,” he shrugged, “fell into it, I suppose.”

“But wait, don’t you still have to take some classes that involved dissecting of some sort?” Jack asked.

Michael turned slightly green as he gulped, “Unfortunately.”

Both Sydney and her father laughed. “And how’d that go?” Jack asked with a smile.

“Not well,” he swallowed hard. “I mean… I made it through. It just… wasn’t the best experience of my life.”

“It wouldn’t be a great experience for me either,” Sydney almost shivered.

Michael laughed. “And you thought you’d be working on stuffed animals when you decided to become a nurse?”

“Oh… right,” she sighed and looked down at her plate. “But I won’t be cutting people open!”

“That’s true,” he said.

“What made you want to become a nurse, Sydney?” Jack asked his daughter. “If I recall, last I remember you wanted to become a personal shopper at Saks.”

Michael laughed loudly at this. “Shut up,” Sydney told him. “That would have been a good job.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” he rolled his eyes.

“Anyway… I’m not sure. I think at some point when I was out there… I mean, I’m not squeamish anymore… and, I don’t know. I just think it would be a nice way to help people,” she said with a tiny shrug.

“It is,” Michael smiled at her.

“So, tell me,” Jack asked a few minutes later when the three of them had become silent due to the fact that they were engrossed in their meal. “How long have you two been a romantic couple?”

Michael choked on his water and Sydney dropped her fork. She panicked, remembering the fact that her father happened to be one of the most observant people on the planet; nothing could get by him. “Dad…,” she sighed.

“I’m simply curious,” Jack said casually.

Sydney gave Michael, who was still choking slightly, a nervous look. “Well… actually, only since this afternoon,” she told him.

“Really?” Jack asked in surprise.

“Yes,” Michael croaked. “It obviously wasn’t appropriate to be together while we were living together, besides Sydney needed time to…”

“Go back to being me,” she finished for him.

“Good,” Jack told them before turning back to his meal. Sydney reached under the table and gave Michael’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

After dinner, Sydney walked Michael back out to his car and they hugged for a few minutes before she nervously looked back over her shoulder. “He’s watching us, isn’t he?” she grumbled.

“Probably,” Michael laughed softly.

“Great… now I’m back in high school,” she sighed. “But I suppose it’s worth it.”

“Right… I probably just shouldn’t slam you up against the car or something,” he smiled.

She laughed softly. “Probably not the best idea.”

“No,” he sighed as he leaned down and gave her a very sweet kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow, say seven?”

“Better make it seven thirty; it’ll take me longer to get home from work,” she told him.

“Seven thirty it is then. Love you, Syd,” he told her with a tiny tap on the tip of her nose with the pad of his finger.

She giggled. “Love you too.”



Chapter 14

For the next month, Sydney and Michael dated and found themselves to be even more deliriously happy than they thought possible. It seemed for once (or at least for the first time in five years) things were going perfectly for Sydney. She had Michael, who was perfect and amazing and whom she loved more each day, and her father, who loved her as well.

When she was a young child, Sydney and her father had been very close. She would sit in his lap for hours and hours and only move when she was forced to. They would play games together. Each and every day she would detail to him everything she did, right down to the number of cheerios she ate at breakfast. As she grew into her teen years though she had grown closer to her mother, but Sydney was glad that in the month she lived with him, she and her father had regained some of their closeness. They would talk nearly every night over dinner, unless Sydney was working during an evening, at which point Jack would stay up and wait for her so that they could talk, even if it was just for a few minutes. Sometimes they would simply talk about their days, but other times their conversations would go deeper and Sydney would tell him bits and pieces of what happened while she was gone. It was difficult for her to talk about sometimes, but she managed, though she cried most of the time. She knew though, that in the long run it was good.

Every time she began to feel overwhelmed though, she knew she could always turn to Michael, and he was always there, ready and willing. Sometimes, she felt guilty about always leaning on him, but he seemed to only thrive more because of it. Sydney loved having Michael, though at times she was still slightly afraid and hesitant about their relationship. After all, she hadn’t really dated much at all and suddenly she had thrown herself into a very serious relationship. The thing she was most worried about was taking their relationship to that ‘next level’, a level she hadn’t exactly visited to a great extent, but Michael didn’t seem to be overly concerned about it. He was simply content to hold her, for which she loved him even more.

For Christmas that year, Michael had made elaborate plans. Well, not elaborate, but busy. They had all decided that the three of them would spend Christmas morning at Sydney’s father’s house before driving up to Michael’s mother’s place for dinner, where they would spend the night, since it was a rather long drive home.

Christmas morning, Sydney felt like an over excited child when she woke up at six a.m., crawled out of her bed and walked into the family room to sit in front of the Christmas tree. She knew it was silly since Michael wasn’t coming until eight, but she couldn’t help herself. She felt as though that Christmas, and the upcoming New Year, would be a new beginning for her; a beginning she would share with Michael and her father, now the two most important men in her life. A year she wouldn’t live in fear, but instead, surrounded by love, warmth and caring.

“Sydney, my goodness,” her father yawned when he emerged from his bedroom. “How long have you been up?”

“Since six,” she beamed. He grumbled as he made his way to the coffee that she had made half an hour earlier.

“Sydney, don’t you want to change out of your pj’s? Michael will be here any minute,” her father told her.

“But these are my Christmas pj’s,” she pouted like a five-year-old as she tugged on her pj’s with multicolored presents and Christmas carol lyrics printed on the fabric. Her father rolled his eyes.

The moment Sydney heard the doorbell ring she bolted to door and launched herself into Michaels’ arms, causing him to drop everything he was holding. “I hope that wasn’t breakable,” she mumbled.

“It wasn’t,” he laughed as he hugged her. “Merry Christmas, Syd.”

“Merry Christmas,” she beamed as she kissed him.

“Syd, seriously, you have to get down or I can’t move,” he laughed at the fact that her legs were wrapped around his waist and she was latched on so tightly he couldn’t even move his arms.

“Sorry,” she laughed softly before letting him out of her death grip.

“Merry Christmas, Michael,” Jack said as he came into the foyer and picked up one of the present bags Michael had dropped.

“Merry Christmas to you too, Jack,” he smiled.

They then went in and sat around the tree to exchange gifts. “So, Sydney would you like your extra special present first or last?” her father asked before he bothered to sit down, knowing his overzealous daughter far too well.

“Extra special?! FIRST!” she said giddily as she clapped her hands together.

“I’ll get it,” Jack laughed softly.

“And I’ll make sure she doesn’t look,” Michael added.

“Wait, are you in on this?” Sydney asked him.

He nodded. “It’s from your father and me. We thought it up all on our own,” he said proudly. “Okay, okay close your eyes now,” he instructed her once he saw Jack returning with her gift.

Sydney giggled softly and closed her eyes tight. After a minute of shuffling around, she was told by her father and Michael to open her eyes. She gasped when she saw in front of her a tiny puppy with a giant red bow atop her back. “Oh my goodness…,” Sydney sighed, reaching out for the pup and pulling her into her lap. “Oh, I love her!”

“Yeah?” Michael smiled as he slid over beside her and scratched the puppy’s back.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Sydney said while practically smothering the puppy in her arms as she cradled it tightly. “Is it a girl? What kind is she? She looks like a lab…”

“Yes, it’s a girl,” her father told her. “And she’s part golden lap and part… what was it, Michael?”

“They didn’t know; some mix or something,” Michael said. “We got her at one of those puppy rescue places.”

“Oh, she’s just precious,” Sydney sighed as she held up the dog to get a better look at her. The puppy promptly began licking her face and Sydney giggled. “I have to name her… Hmm, what should I name you, hmm?” she asked the dog in a baby-fied voice. Then, she thought for a moment, looking the puppy over from every angle before finally declaring, “Jessica… and we’ll call her Jess for short.”

“Jess sounds good to me,” Michael said.

“So, where is she going to stay? Here?” Sydney asked her father.

“Yes, here… and we’re all going to take turns coming home and letting her out and feeding her,” Jack told her.

“Oh thank you! Thank you so, so much!” she said as she hugged both her father and Michael while still holding the puppy.

“Boy, if I had known she’d be this excited I wouldn’t have bought her anything else,” Michael laughed with a grin. Sydney rolled her eyes at him and cuddled her pup tighter.



Chapter 15

After all the puppy excitement, Sydney was very hesitant to leave her father’s house, but she was excited to meet Michael’s mother; excited and anxious, that was. After the present exchange, Michael and Sydney’s father cleaned up the wrapping paper (which Jess was having a blast rolling in, diving in and attempting to eat) while Sydney got ready to leave.

Once she was ready, Michael practically had to drag her away from the puppy, who was sleeping adorably atop a sweater Sydney received for Christmas. Finally, they left and began the two hour drive and encountered a surprising amount of traffic for so early on Christmas morning. “So, you really like your puppy, hmm?” Michael smiled at her.

“Oh Michael, I just love her so much! How did you ever get the idea to get me a dog?” she asked.

“Well… I was talking to your father and-”

“Wait,” she cut him off. “How often do you talk to my dad?”

He shrugged. “Occasionally.”

“And what do you talk about?” she asked curiously.

“You… other stuff,” he shrugged.

“Wait, is he one of your patients!?” she asked, slightly afraid.

“No! No, no he couldn’t be. It would be like conflict of interest or something. But no, we just talk,” he shrugged. “Anyway, he mentioned how you used to have a dog that you loved when you were little.”

“Ohh Penny…,” she sighed pensively. “I haven’t thought about her in a while… she died when I was seven or eight.”

“Right. Well, I suggested maybe getting you another dog, but only if he wanted because I’m not really supposed to have dogs at my place and he thought it was a good idea so…,” he let his voice drift off as he shrugged.

“Well, it was a wonderful idea,” she grinned.

Then, they fell back into silence as they drove. Sydney looked out the window at the passing trees and other scenery as she nervously twisted the necklace Michael had just given her. “Syd, what’s wrong?” Michael asked her finally.

“Oh, it’s just…,” she sighed. “Well I’m worried about what your mother will think of me… I mean, does she know about my… freakishness?”

“Freakishness?” he laughed softly. “Well, I’m afraid you’ll have to be a bit more specific beca- HEY! I was kidding,” he groaned when she smacked him.

“I’m serious!” she groaned.

“I didn’t tell her anything, Syd. I wasn’t sure if you wanted her to know,” he told her truthfully.

Sydney sighed and looked down at her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. “Well…I suppose there is no point in keeping it from her… I mean, it will probably come out later on anyway, but I don’t think Christmas is the best time to bring it up.”

“No, probably not,” he laughed softly. “Besides, there is nothing you have to worry about because she’s going to love you,” he told her with a reassuring smile. She gave him a small smile in return.

~*~

“So… is this where you grew up?” Sydney asked cautiously when Michael pulled into the driveway of the ranch home where his mother lived.

“Nah, we lived further north and towards the coast more, but then when I graduated high school and decided to come to UCLA my mother decided to move closer… although this isn’t exactly closer. I think it’s probably close to the same distance, but this is where she found a job… so,” he shrugged.

“Oh,” Sydney laughed softly. Then Michael took her hand and linked their fingers together as they walked up the front walk.

“Mom, we’re here!” he called as he walked in the front door.

“Oh goodness! You’re early! I’ll be down in a moment!” a voice called from upstairs.

“Take your time,” Michael called back as he pulled Sydney into the very decorated living room.

“Wow,” Sydney exclaimed at the sight of all the tiny Christmas figurines and other assorted decorations around the room.

“Yeah, Christmas is my mom’s favorite holiday,” Michael told her quietly.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Sydney laughed sarcastically.

Michael rolled his eyes. “You should have seen it a few years ago when she went all out. I swear you could have seen the house from space.”

“Oh no!” Sydney gasped.

“Yeah, it was… bad. Especially since I got stuck having to help her put it all away in the basement,” he rolled his eyes.

“Do I hear you complaining already, Michael?” his mother asked when she appeared on the stairs wearing a dark green sweater with a tiny Christmas tree pin near the collar.

“No, of course not,” he said as he walked over and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Mom.”

“Merry Christmas to you too. You must be Sydney,” his mother beamed when she turned to Sydney, who was standing aside bashfully.

She nodded and said timidly, “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Vaughn.”

“Oh well, it’s wonderful to meet you too, sweetheart,” she said as she gave Sydney a hug. “But please, call me Amelia; everyone does. Mrs. Vaughn makes me sound so old.”

“No use trying to lie about your age now,” Michael smirked at her. Sydney was shocked by his comment until his mother rolled her eyes.

“I have a horrible son. Why is such a sweet girl like you with him?” she asked Sydney.

Sydney giggled slightly as Michael feigned horrible offense. “Ouch Mom, that one really hurt.”

“Mmhm, I’m sure it did. You two must be starving though, come on and we’ll get some food on the table,” she said as she ushered them back through the house. Sydney noticed immediately the incredibly warm atmosphere of Amelia’s home. In addition to the slightly excessive amount of Christmas decorations, there were pictures of her son everywhere along with photos of other people, presumably family members. Sydney even thought she might have spotted something that had been an art project of Michael’s when he was in grade school. Mostly though, Amelia’s house had a feel that it was lived in and loved in, which made Sydney feel safe.

“So, Sydney, Michael mentioned something to me about you going to school?” Amelia asked during their meal.

“Oh… yes, I’ll be staring nursing school in a few weeks,” Sydney told her.

“Oh that’s wonderful, but I didn’t realize you were so young. You seem like you’re in your mid-twenties,” Amelia told her.

“Oh well, I’ll be twenty-three soon,” Sydney told her. “I just…”

“She took some time off,” Michael interjected for her.

“Oh well, that’s perfectly alright, dear. I took a year off myself before going to school. Of course, I had no idea what I wanted to do… unlike this one who practically wanted to be a doctor since birth,” she rolled her eyes as she gestured towards her son. Sydney giggled. “Oh well… I suppose it’s better than wanting to join the circus.”

“Right,” Michael laughed. “Although I can juggle fairly well.”

“Don’t even start,” Amelia warned.

~*~

“So, did you have a good Christmas?” Michael asked Sydney later that evening as they were settling down in the guest room.

“Michael, this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had,” she told him honestly.

He smiled, leaned over and gave her a kiss. “Me too.”



Chapter 16

Sydney absolutely loved spending Christmas at Amelia’s. It had been so long since she had a mother-like figure, she had forgotten how nice it was and she was almost sad to leave, but Amelia made her promise to visit again soon and Sydney agreed. It wasn’t until they were almost halfway back to her father’s house that Sydney remembered the puppy that was waiting for her. “Oh my goodness I forgot about Jess! I’m such a bad puppy-mother,” she said sadly.

“No, you’re not,” he laughed. “You just got excited and distracted by the Christmas wonderland that is my mother’s house.”

“Right,” she laughed. “It was quite a sight… I mean especially at night with the front yard.”

“Yeah, I know,” he grumbled. “Freakish really… at least I don’t live there. Can you imagine? Being the poor helpless child living in Santa’s Village…”

“Oh Michael, it wasn’t that bad!” Sydney insisted. He gave her a look. “Okay, if I was a teenager living there, it would have been that bad,” she admitted.

“Exactly,” he sighed. “So… I was thinking about New Year’s… got any plans?”

“Well, my social calendar is jam packed…”

“So, that’s a no then,” he laughed.

“Of course. What’d you have in mind?” she asked.

“Oh just… you…me… my couch and some sparkling grape juice… or apple juice… or soda,” he laughed.

“Sounds perfect,” she smiled. “I’m sure I can talk my dad into letting me spend the night at your place.”

“I hope so,” he laughed softly.

As soon as they arrived at Jack’s house, Sydney bolted from the car and raced inside to see Jess. She found her gated in the kitchen as her father scrubbed up the carpet in the other room. “Oh no,” Sydney cringed. “Did she have an accident?”

“It’s my fault really,” Jack sighed. “I thought boxes would hold her back but she just pushed them aside… so I had to dig out these old baby gates…”

“Oh,” she sighed before kneeling down to Jess. “Baby, you gotta learn to go outside,” she said, scratching Jess’ ear.

“Oh dear.. an accident already… guess we’ll have to take her back,” Michael said when he came inside.

Sydney gasped in horror. “Michael, that’s a terrible thing to say. She could hear you!” she exclaimed as she covered up Jess’s tiny ears.

“I was kidding, lighten up woman,” he laughed at her. Sydney sighed and gave him a disapproving look. “Come on, let’s take her for a walk.”

~*~

For the rest of the week leading up to New Year’s, Sydney couldn’t help but feel incredibly anxious, especially at night when she wasn’t distracted by Jess’s antics or work. She knew that she wanted the next year to be a new beginning for her, and in order to do that, she knew she had to reveal something she had been keeping from Michael; from everyone. She didn’t want to do it, but knew there wasn’t a choice. She had to tell him and she was dreading it. Twice she tried and failed since her father walked in and she knew that she could never, ever tell him, but Michael had to know. She decided to tell him on New Year’s Eve, which wasn’t exactly the most festive thing, but it was guaranteed that they wouldn’t be interrupted while she was trying to explain and, most likely, sobbing in the process.

Sydney and Michael had just settled down on his couch to watch the movie that was on before the New Year’s Eve special’s started when she took a deep breath and said nervously, “Michael… can I… can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure, what’s up, beautiful?” he asked her with a grin. But his smile quickly faded away once he saw the grave look on her face. “Syd?” he questioned.

“I’m sorry,” she lowered her eyes, already feeling the tears begin to prick them.

“What is it?” he asked in a very concerned tone as he slid closer to her.

“It’s just… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before... I- I couldn’t,” she choked. “I never wanted anyone to know…. I wanted to forget it, but I can’t. I can’t, and… and I think if I tell you, it will help it go away…”

“What is it?” he asked softly as he gulped, preparing himself for the worst.

“W-well… there was this one, this one time with Joel… it was…. I don’t know when it was…. Not too long after we came back from Vegas but… well I was… I was in his stupid trailer of a house doing his laundry when he came in… he was high and drunk probably and he just grabbed my arm and started dragging me out of the house. I tried to stop him but he just screamed at me and said he needed me to go with him…. And I tried… I tried to stop so hard, but he was stronger than me… I mean, he was a really big guy. He was probably like six three or something… I tried. I tried to stop him,” she sobbed.

“I’m sure you did,” Michael said calmly as he reached over and took her hands in his.

“But… but he threw me in the back of his car and drove off. He wasn’t driving he was in the back with me and he kept saying all these things… I don’t even remember. I just remember being confused and then finally I understood… he was talking about a client, a client of his that, that needed a g-girl,” she stammered her voice barely above a choked whisper with the last word. Michael immediately felt sick since the direction her story was going in wasn’t a positive one.

Sydney’s eyes snapped up at him and she looked at him full of terror. “I tried to stop him… I shouted and screamed and I tried to get out of the car. I told him I wasn’t one of his stupid whores and he needed to go find one of them, but he wouldn’t listen… he just kept saying he needed someone and I was all there was…

“The car stopped and he dragged me out by my ponytail, but I was still screeching at him. That’s when…. When he pulled, he pulled a knife from his pocket and held it to my, my throat,” she choked out. “He said if I screamed he’d kill me and… and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to die,” she said in a desperate tone.

“I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t,” she said as she shook her head furiously. “But he was going to kill me and he kept hitting me and there was the knife and… and…”

“Sydney,” Michael sighed, tears coming to his own eyes at her pain. He leaned forward and tried to put his arms around her but she jumped back and slid of the couch.

“NO! Don’t! Don’t touch me… Don’t… I’m a filthy dirty whore and I don’t deserve to live!” she choked out, collapsing down onto the floor on her knees.

“Hey! I don’t want to ever hear you say that again!” Michael said in an almost scolding way as he slid down to the floor with her.

“But… but I-”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he told her. “Not at all. You didn’t do it because you chose to. It was a life or death thing.”

“But… but it happened and it was horrible,” she choked out.

“I know, Syd, I know,” he sighed, finally putting his arms around her. She sunk into them and clung to him tightly. “You’re ok Syd; you’re okay,” he said soothingly.

“Please don’t hate me…,” she sobbed.

“I don’t hate you, baby; I couldn’t. I love you, I love you,” he repeated over and over as he rocked her gently.



Chapter 17

Michael held Sydney on the floor for a few more minutes before scooping her up and carrying her to bed, any thoughts of festively ushering in the New Year forgotten.

He held her tightly for an hour, refusing to let go until her sobs quieted and she was simply silent as she held onto him tightly, being soothed by the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. “I’m sorry,” she croaked finally, her voice still harsh from the tears.

“Sorry? For what?” he asked her softly. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“But,” she said as she sat up and slid away from him slightly. “I’m so…”

“You’re nothing different than you were before,” he told her before she had a chance to degrade herself at all. “Nothing has changed, Sydney. Nothing. I still love you the same.”

“But how can you?” she sniffed.

“How can I not?” he asked softly.

She shifted uncomfortably and pulled her sleeves down so that they covered her hands as she folded her arms across her chest. “You just… you don’t know what it was like… I was there and… and there was… and he-”

“Sydney,” he cut off her gasps for breath between her sobs by pulling her close to him once more. “You have to stop dwelling on it. It’s in the past and who cares? It happens and you know what? Shit happens and you have to deal with it the best you can. You are doing an amazing job, but you have to let it go. You can’t change it, you just have to move past it, because look at you; look at who you are now. You’re so, so good and so amazing and just so wonderful. You can’t let it get you down Syd, you can’t.”

She nodded slowly, trying to believe the words he was saying. “And you know what else?” he continued as he gave her a tiny squeeze. “You make me want to be a better person.”

She laughed softly and covered her face with her hands as she shook her head. “No, it’s true,” he insisted. “You are so much better than me, Sydney. I know that I would never have survived even half the stuff you went through and yet you made it and you’re sitting here with a smile on your face.”

“I’m not smiling,” she sighed.

“Well, you know what I mean. You’re ok; you made it. You inspire me,” he whispered into her ear.

She turned to him in utter disbelief. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” she wondered aloud, running her fingertip down his cheek.

He turned his head and kissed the tip of her finger softly. “Nothing and yet everything,” he responded. She smiled and turned away slightly as he leaned forward and kissed one of her dimples. “You okay?”

She sighed and laid down with her head resting on one of the pillows. “I think so.” Then she added, “I’m sorry.”

“Syd,” he laughed.

“No, this time I’m sorry for ruining New Year’s,” she sighed.

He laid down beside her and rested his head next to hers and his hand on her stomach. “You ruined nothing,” he said quietly. “Besides, it’s only eleven thirty. We can still kiss at midnight.”

“Okay,” she smiled.

“So, do you have any last minute resolutions?” he asked her.

She shrugged. “I always thought those were stupid. Why does New Year’s make it any different? Like… most people say they’ll lose weight, but why wait until New Year’s?”

“Because they’re still pigging out on Christmas cookies,” he told her.

“Well, I guess,” she laughed.

“Alright, so no resolutions… what about things you want to do next year?” he asked.

“Hmm,” she sighed as she thought a moment. “Well… potty train Jess, and do well in nursing school… be happy,” she shrugged. “Oh, and maybe go on a vacation.”

“Sounds good to me,” he smiled.

“What about you?” she asked.

“Well,” he sighed as he rubbed his hand over her stomach. “I think I’d like to get married next year.”

Sydney’s heart skipped a few beats. “O-oh yea?” she asked cautiously.

“Yeah, see it’s all in the master plan.”

“The master plan? Oh, do tell,” she laughed at him.

“Well… it was to finish medical school and hopefully find a girlfriend so I wasn’t pathetic and alone… but that wasn’t high priority. The girlfriend became priority after I graduated. And then I figured we’d date for a year or so, get engaged and then get married around the time when I’m thirty- which is next year. And then we could be married for a year or two before we had kids,” he explained.

She laughed loudly at his detail. “You sound like a girl!”

“HEY!” he gasped in offense.

“Mmhm, you do. Did you name your kids?” she asked.

“No,” he said firmly. “Just because I’m slightly OCD doesn’t make me a girl either.”

“Ah, the therapist with OCD, I feel safe now,” she teased. He rolled his eyes. “But seriously it sounds like your plan is working so far.”

“Right… the only problem now is narrowing down the women,” he sighed as he rubbed his chin, fakely pondering. “I’ve got it narrowed down to five or six…”

“Five or six?!” she screeched.

“Oh, you thought you were the only one?!” he gasped in fake shock.

She yanked a pillow from beside them and smashed him in the face with it. “Your mother’s right; you’re horrible.”

“Sorry,” he grinned. “Just tryin’ to lighten the mood.”

“Mmhmm, can we be serious for a minute?” she asked. He nodded. “Thank you for being in my life, Michael… you may think I’m… something to be sitting here, but the truth is, I wouldn’t have made it without you.”

“Well, I’m glad to be of service then,” he smiled and kissed her.

“Hey, look at that. 12:01,” she said as she pointed to the clock. Michael smiled and kissed her once more. “Happy New Year.”



Chapter 18

The next morning after sleeping in late, Sydney awoke in Michael’s arms, wishing that she could just stay right there for the rest of the year. She rolled over and saw that he had his head propped up on his fist and he was watching her. “Whatcha doin’?” she asked with a yawn.

“Starting my New Year by watching the most beautiful thing in the world,” he told her. She giggled softly and leaned in to kiss the underside of his jaw, but she pulled back quickly at the rough feel of his stubble on her lips. “Do I need to shave?” he laughed softly.

“Yes, please,” she said with her nose crinkled up.

“What is with you and the fear of stubble?” he asked her.

“It’s not a fear; it’s a dislike. I have sensitive skin,” she insisted.

“Uh huh, well maybe I should just grow a beard then,” he told her.

“Oh, please don’t,” she said seriously.

“I won’t,” he laughed.

“You know what though?” she sighed as she tucked her head down in the crook of his neck.

“Hmm?” he sighed.

“You make me feel so safe,” she whispered. He hugged her tighter and kissed the top of her head.

Later that day, Sydney and Michael went over to Jack’s for a late lunch and so that Sydney no longer had separation anxiety from her precious puppy.

“Isn’t she just the smartest, bestest, most wonderfulest beautiful little girl!” Sydney cooed as she rolled a ball back and forth in front of her while Jess watched attentively.

“Uh huh,” Jack and Michael said dully.

“Oh,” Sydney grumbled at them. “You boys don’t care about her.”

“Sure we do,” Jack and Michael said together once more. Sydney rolled her eyes at them.

“OH! Oh I forgot!” Sydney exclaimed as she rushed off to her room. She returned a moment later with a tiny bag. “I bought her clothes!”

“Ohhh Syd, you’re going to abuse her,” Michael groaned.

“No, not abuse, stylize,” Sydney grinned. Michael rolled his eyes but watched as she pulled a tiny doggy size sweater out of her bag and began to gently put it on Jess’s head. Once it was on properly, Jess began walking around in her sweater, wagging her tail furiously. “Isn’t she adorable!” Sydney squealed.

“Oh my goodness…,” Jack laughed at the sight of her. “I didn’t know they made such things.”

“Of course! But they’re mostly for small dogs… so that’s why she can only wear them as a puppy!”

“Abuse her while you can,” Michael smiled. She gave him a dangerous look. “Never mind,” he muttered as he turned back to the TV. Jack chuckled to himself.

~*~

Sydney had only a limited amount of free time in the New Year because her nursing school classes began the second week in January. She quickly found that the classes would be very challenging for her; challenging, but doable. She immediately cut her working days back to only three a week, since the majority of her outside class time was either spent studying or doing school assignments or lab work.

On February first, Sydney and Michael had a mini-celebration of their own for it was one year ago to the day that they had met. Neither of them had realized, or could have even comprehended, at the time, how much their love would grow in the next year, but both of them were thankful for it.

For the next month, things were seemingly perfect, and, looking back, Sydney realized that should have been the tip off. It was just an ordinary evening she was working at the grocery store. She was stocking a shelf with canned fruit when she saw her out of the corner of her eye. She thought she might have recognized the woman, who seemed to be staring at her, but when she went to look again, the stranger person was gone, so she shrugged it off without a second thought.

Two days later was when she saw him. There she was, frozen, unmoving, staring into the cold eyes of Joel from across the store. Her throat went dry, she felt completely ill and her heart was beating impossibly fast in her chest. She knew he had seen her and recognized her and she was panicking, trying to figure out what to do. When he began to approach her, dodging shoppers with their shopping carts on the way, she took off running, any thoughts of her job forgotten; she had to stay away from him.

She grabbed her purse from the back room and charged out the back employee entrance. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was barely seven o’clock. She was supposed to work until eight and then take the bus to Michael’s, where they were going to watch a movie and she was going to spend the night because her class had a field trip the following morning to a hospital nearby Michael’s office and he was going to drive her. Knowing Joel would be following her, she quickly formulated a plan, going back to her old street-like behavior.

She took off running down the streets, cutting through alleys and finally climbing up a fire escape where, in the dark, she wouldn’t be noticed. Then, she pulled out the cell phone Michael had given her for Christmas and dialed his number.

“Yello babe, you get off work early?” he asked.

“Sorta,” she hissed in a quiet voice. “Can you come pick me up?”

“Yeah, but it’ll be a few minutes, I just- wait, why are you whispering like that?”

“Just come get me, please! Don’t go to the grocery store. There’s a gas station three blocks south. I’ll be waiting there,” she told him.

“Jesus Syd, what’s with the cloak and dagger routine? Is something wrong?” he asked her.

“Just come!” she said frantically before hanging up the phone.

After staying on her fire escape perch for fifteen minutes, she climbed down and made her way to the gas station where she told Michael to meet her. She stayed in the store, hiding behind a shelf so she could look out at the street every few minutes until she saw him come. Then she ran out and practically dove in his car, but in the back seat, where she lay down and shouted, “Go!”

“Okay, Syd, you’re really kinda freaking me out here,” he told her honestly.

“Two days ago, one of Joel’s whores saw me working at the grocery store,” she sighed. “I didn’t recognize her at the time… but tonight Joel was there. He-he saw me.”

“Oh Syd,” Michael sighed heavily.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said tearfully. “If he found me there then he can find me at school or worse! He could find you or my father! He probably saw my name tag and knew I lied to him about my name.”

“You didn’t tell him your real name?” Michael asked, feeling slightly relieved.

“No, of course not,” she sighed. “I told him my name was Candy.”

Michael couldn’t help but laugh at this. “Syd, are there actual people named Candy? I mean… I realize they use that as their stripper name but…”

“Michael! Please!”

“Sorry,” he said quickly.

“Look, it doesn’t matter what I told Joel my name was, he’ll figure out who I am!”

“Okay…,” Michael sighed, trying to formulate a plan as his adrenalin pumped furiously. “We’ll go to your father’s… we need to keep you safe.”

“Okay….Michael, I’m scared,” she whimpered.

“I know, Syd,” he sighed as he reached one of his hands back through the space between the seats. She took it and squeezed it. “You’re going to be ok.”

~*~

“Sydney, Michael… what are you two doing here?” Jack asked when he opened his front door and found them standing there. Sydney said nothing; she just pushed past him and ran back to the kitchen to hug her ever growing puppy. “What happened?”

“Joel saw her,” Michael sighed.

“Joel? That horrible man who-”

“Yep,” Michael said sadly. Jack sighed heavily and walked back to the kitchen where his daughter was on the floor with Jess in her lap, hugging her tightly.

“I don’t know what to do,” Sydney whimpered, burying her face in Jess’s fur. “He’ll come after me.”

“Well, Sydney, I don’t know if this would interest you but… today I received a job transfer offer,” Jack told her cautiously. “I was going to turn it down but…”

“Where to?” Sydney asked as she stood up off the ground.

“Trenton, New Jersey,” he told her.

“Joel couldn’t find me there…,” Sydney said slowly. “Well, he could, but he wouldn’t bother because it would inconvenience him…”

“How quickly would you need to move?” Michael asked Jack.

He shrugged. “I wasn’t really listening since I had planned on turning it down but… I think they said before the end of the month.”

Sydney looked over at Michael cautiously and saw the wheels of his brain turning. “We… we could send you ahead,” Michael said to her. “I’m sure I could find a job out there and-”

“Michael, wait,” She cut him off. “You can’t-”

“Of course I can,” he told her as he walked over to her, picked up her hands and held them close to his chest.

“But…. But you’d be picking up your life and-”

“Syd, you are my life,” he told her softly. She looked up at him, terrified and thrilled at the same time. “I… I mean, I was going to do it better, I swear… I was going to wait until I had a ring and, uh, maybe talked it over with your father,” he said with a nervous glance towards Jack, who was watching them. Then, he paused as he got down on the kitchen floor with one knee.

“Oh god,” Sydney let out a tiny gasp.

“Sydney, I love you and I-- woah!” he gasped as Jess, enjoying the fact that he was on the floor with her, jumped up using his leg as leverage and licked him right on the lips. Sydney laughed through the tears that had formed. “Jess, please,” Michael groaned as he tried to shove off the overexcited pup, but she only found this to be a game and attacked him even more. “Jess... JESS!” he groaned until he had flopped down on the floor with her in his lap, licking his face all over while Sydney and her father looked on, laughing hysterically.

“Come on Jess, stop,” Sydney said as she pulled her dog off of him and kneeled down beside her.

“Well… now that that’s ruined,” he sighed as he wiped his face with his sleeve.

Sydney leaned in and kissed him sweetly. “I want to marry you Michael, but are you sure you’re okay with moving the whole way across the country? I mean… you won’t resent me for it later?”

He laughed softly. “Are you trying to psychoanalyze me?”

“No,” she laughed. “I’m serious.”

“I’m serious too. I want to be wherever you are and we need to keep you safe and away from Joel… plus why not give the east coast a try? You’re the one who wanted a vacation,” he told her.

She grinned and hugged him. “Thank you, Michael.”

“No, thank you.”

“For what?” she asked.

He smiled, “For being you.”



Epilogue

“Mommy!! Mommy!” five-year-old Lydia shouted as she ran through the house.

“Oof!” Sydney grunted when Lydia plowed into her at full speed. “You have to be careful with Mommy’s tummy sweetie,” Sydney told her daughter as she placed one of her tiny hands on her barely formed bump.

“Why?” Lydia asked innocently.

“Remember? Mommy and Daddy told you that you’re going to be a big sister and the baby is in Mommy’s tummy,” Sydney explained as she crouched down beside her daughter.

“Ohh! I forgot!” Lydia said as she threw her hands up. “Will you play with me and Daddy now?”

“Sure,” Sydney smiled as she followed her daughter to the family room, where her husband was waiting on the floor. In front of him was the board game Candy Land and Lydia immediately plopped herself down and began dealing out game pieces to herself and her parents. Sydney grunted slightly as she sat and crossed her legs in front of her.

“Sit while you still can, Syd,” Michael chuckled slightly.

She gave him a look. “You are so mean to me.”

“Moi? Never,” he grinned.

“Daddy PLAY!” Lydia whined.

“Alright, alright,” he laughed as he picked up one of the die to roll.

They played their game for the next few minutes until Michael’s piece was the first to reach the end. “YAY Daddy won!” Lydia cheered. “Let’s play again.”

“Okay… but look, Mommy’s sad she lost. Go give her a big kiss,” Michael whispered to his daughter. Lydia crawled over and smacked a loud kiss on her mother’s cheek.

“All better, Mommy?” she asked.

“All better,” Sydney grinned as she pulled her daughter into her lap and tickled her. Lydia squealed and giggled until her father came over and ‘rescued’ her which mean he took his turn tickling her.

“Daddy stop!” Lydia said finally and so Michael did.

Then, Sydney got a wicked grin on her face and told her daughter, “Let’s tickle Daddy!”

“What?! NO!” he said but it was too late. The two girls had already pounced on him and Sydney was holding him down while Lydia tickled her little fingers under his chin and down his stomach. “Ahh stop!! You’re killing Daddy!” he groaned.

“Oh we’re not killing you, you baby,” Sydney laughed.

“Yeah yeah,” he muttered once she loosened her grip on him. Then he locked his arms around both of them and kissed both their heads. “Love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Sydney smiled at him. Then, they kissed and Lydia squealed and grimaced,

“EWWWWWWW!”

Then both her parents attacked her with tickles once more.

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